My wife wants a divorce

[Speedpass]

We have been married almost 12 years; but on Monday night I was dealt an unexpected announcement. She has been chatting with an alleged American doctor in Syria for a few weeks who will be moving back to the States in a few months. She claims that he can offer her more than I can. She says that he has houses in Alabama and Texas, is widowed, has a 12-year old daughter attending school in Lebanon, is offering her an executive's job in his oil company, and they can live anywhere they want to. Several friends claim that this is a scam, that this "doctor"is trying to get her (our) money. I work at a convenience store where I make a tenth of what this "doctor" is making. I was a teacher; but have had problems keeping jobs due to issues with disciplining students. I need prayer that I will be protected from any fall-out; but she claims that this is a real person.

 

[liafailrock]

Wow! This is a wild story. It's one thing to be scammed by computer or telephone and later realize it, but i's another thing for someone to try to steal your wife away making such promises to her. The statement (if it's true) that he can "offer more than you can" is the epitome of arrogance and evil. Obviously such a person has no scriptural regard for the sanctity of marriage and I would consider such a person Satanic and godless. That said, I wonder where your wife's head is at to believe that all that hype? Is she a Christian? I already know the answer if she really would fall for this. The Scriptures call us to peace, and if an unbeliever wants to leave, then you are under no obligation. Still,I realize it hurts, and you don't want to see anything happen to her, either. I don't want to watch the next crime documentary on TV in the future regarding something that happened to your wife. But this crazy situation is how it often starts, to be forewarned. People are often naive enough to walk into such situations. I know I haven't offered much help,but you have my prayers and sympathy. Totally crazy.

 

[Rlee]

I'm am greatly saddened to read this. I have been through something very similar and it's painful, especially if you have children. You have my prayers.

 

[Speedpass]

I'm am greatly saddened to read this. I have been through something very similar and it's painful, especially if you have children. You have my prayers.

Thank you, but we have no children. We got married when we were both in our early 40s, plus she has always felt that pregnancy would be complicated due to her age and other health issues. However, why would she all of a sudden get an urge to marry someone with a child?????

 

[Yeshua1]

Thank you, but we have no children. We got married when we were both in our early 40s, plus she has always felt that pregnancy would be complicated due to her age and other health issues. However, why would she all of a sudden get an urge to marry someone with a child?????

is she a Christian, and we know if she is, guess being obedient to Jesus not her option?

 

[JPPT1974]

Praying for you both. As you both need to lean on God for the answers and guidance.

 

[Speedpass]

is she a Christian, and we know if she is, guess being obedient to Jesus not her option?

She is a Christian.

 

[Speedpass]

On Monday, things took an unexpected turn. She broke down in tears, telling me that she was sorry for what she did. After refusing my offer for a settlement in a divorce (she would stay with her mother 40 minutes away while I stay in the trailer we just rented last month), she seemed to want a second chance. However, I am still suspecting she is contacting "this" doctor as I notice her texting and hiding her phone so I won't see who she's texting. When I asked her about this, all she says is "No worries'!.
Makes we wonder if her repentance is actually sincere. She also claims that when she talked to my former boss, who incidentally has a master's in Biblical Counseling from Liberty, he encouraged her to stay the course and understand that money doesn't make the marriage.
I am still wondering if I should still plan to divorce her, as this affair is causing our marriage to never be the same as it was. If I stay, do I place "sanctions" on her like not taking her out to eat, going to different churches, having separate bank accounts, etc??????

 

[annsni]

You need in person counseling because there are issues here that are greater than what any of us can deal with online. Both of you meeting with a Christian counselor is vital, IMO.

 

[Rolfe]

You need in person counseling because there are issues here that are greater than what any of us can deal with online. Both of you meeting with a Christian counselor is vital, IMO.

Best advice of the thread.

Re sanctions. I cannot see how punishing your Wife by not dating her or going to separate churches can possibly help. If your marriage was on life-support to begin with, this type of thing would be the coup-de-grâce by driving her farther away. Romance her, respect her, and rebuild trust.

 

[Salty]

Speedy, your are in our prayers- I am sure this is a very difficult time for you. Be sure to stay close to the Lord.

 

[Yeshua1]

You need in person counseling because there are issues here that are greater than what any of us can deal with online. Both of you meeting with a Christian counselor is vital, IMO.

Good point, as there would be the proof of sincerity if she agreed to counseling and was actively participate to reslove the issues!

 

[JPPT1974]

Yeah as will continue to pray for your family!

 

[Speedpass]

An update--she has not said anything about the "affair" or the "doctor" she was supposedly coveting these past 10 days.

 

[Speedpass]

Another update--I thought I caught her chatting with the other man the other morning when her phone went off during a tornado warning; but she told me that she found out that people like him are scam artists, and that she was trying to hold him off when he asked her for money. Thank you everyone for praying.

 

[Don]

Sir - if I may, you still need to take Ann's advice. Get counseling.

 

[Speedpass]

Everything is on the upswing in my marriage. Thank you again for praying for God's restoration power.