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Need advice. Got a problem with a Sister in Christ.

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by Jkdbuck76, Mar 28, 2008.

  1. ShagNappy

    ShagNappy Member

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    Reading some of these replies it is obvious that Joe is the only person who read the entire OP before responding... and is clearly the only person who got it right.
     
  2. ShagNappy

    ShagNappy Member

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    In you haste to blame the victim, I guess you just skipped right over the part about her seeing the same allergist for 20 years now, huh?
     
  3. Joe

    Joe New Member

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    Sorry, FTR it was Deacon poking fun at guns in church, not Steven2006.

    I agree shagnappy, the majority must not have read the entire OP.
     
  4. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    1.) The Offending Lady needs to be removed from her position for a term of probation.

    2.) Put a restriction on how the church can be decorated. Once, I was in a church where someone was allergic to poinsettias. While that person attended church there, Poinsettias were never placed.
     
  5. Steven2006

    Steven2006 New Member

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    I have been trying to decide whether to even respond to your post, because I don't want to seem like I am pilling on to the OP and his wife. That is not my intention, and as I stated in my first post, I completely understand why and how they feel like they do. I can truly empathize with them, because I would be very defensive of my family as well.

    But to answer your questions, it sure sounds as if they became angry, and by using the term "losing ones temper", I believe I am giving them the benefit of the doubt, that is out of character because of the seriousness of the situation, and not their personalities to normally do so (get angry). At least that was my intention of using that term.



    My advise was what I felt would best help them in settling the situation in the most biblical way. The way that would best put the entire situation behind them and not cause more angst in their lives. If I have offended them, I do apologize, it was not my intentions. Also whether they regard that advise at all is obviously completely up to them, Your advise however IMO is the antitheses of that, and would be the very worst action they could take.
     
  6. Deacon

    Deacon Well-Known Member
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    I’ve re-read the OP and comments:
    We all can agree on prayer for the parties involved. :praying:

    The advice I gave concerns actions that Buck and his wife could take, not how to deal with the offending woman.
    As I said, I think the pastor should be allowed to deal with that problem.
    It seems to me that there's a lot of speculation about her motives.

    I do know a bit about allergies; when Buck speaks of his wife’s throat beginning to close and hives, now that’s potentially a life threatening situation.

    And 20 years with the same allergist with no significant relief (missed reading that :eek: )… it doesn’t sound like she’s growing out of the problem!
    I couldn’t imagine the suffering spring would bring.
    Perhaps it’s time for a second medical opinion.

    Rob
     
    #26 Deacon, Mar 29, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 29, 2008
  7. Jkdbuck76

    Jkdbuck76 Well-Known Member
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    Hey folks.

    My wife has been to three allergists throughout her lifetime. She is a very very rare case. Allergy shots trigger anaphylaxis on her. But that is not why I decided to post today.

    I took some good advice. I invited her husband out for lunch and we discussed it and some other concerns in the church. He said his wife was really sorry (said she was "sick over it") and that it would never happen again.

    I think its ok. Couldn't have asked for a better result. The church didn't split. I won my brother. Didn't have to take witnesses or even bring it up to the church. When you give things over to God, He'll take care of them.
     
  8. Joe

    Joe New Member

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    Someone was almost killed remember? And your main goal is the church staying together? Why would your results be important?
    It isn't about you :BangHead:

    Except I am curious....What brother?
    The husband (Deacon) who is married to the lady who tried to kill your wife?
    What in the world would he have to be angry at you about? He is likely going to be sweet as pie to you. His wife could be prosecuted!
    :eek: Why would you bring an attempted murderer in front of your church?
    I don't know who you gave it to, but it certainly wasn't God.

    Don't take credit for not obeying the law at the expense of others.
    In fact, I believe it is a crime in itself not to report it.



    God help you if this happens again and someone is seriously injured or killed.
     
    #28 Joe, Mar 31, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 31, 2008
  9. queenbee

    queenbee Member

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    In Buck's defence Joe - you and I weren't there at the lunch. So we have no idea what was or wasn't said. I personally think it took great courage & compassion to forgive a brother's wife. Do you not think God would be proud of Buck for doing so? Yes, it is easy to get righteous - (I do it all too frequently), but we learn from God and others and have the opportunity to practice grace as well.

    Buck - as an aside, I hope that you have stressed to this brother the seriousness of anaphylactic shock - that your wife was in imminent danger of choking to death. In fact, I think you should take it one step further and have the Pastor & Elder board announce to the church that a decision has been reached to make XXXX church completely 'scent-and-allergy free'. Without naming names, everybody in the church has been put on notice that no perfumes, scents, flowers or other allergens will be permitted in this zone. I pray, as Joe does, that this will never happen again.
     
  10. webdog

    webdog Active Member
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    That is excellent advice, queenbee. Make it crystal clear in the instance something happens like this again.
     
  11. Mexdeaf

    Mexdeaf New Member

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    Praise the Lord. Now I hope that if this lady still has something against the pastor that she will work it out with him and not get you and your wife involved in it.



     
  12. Steven2006

    Steven2006 New Member

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    I am so happy to hear this news, Praise the Lord! I commend you in how you handled yourself in a very difficult situation. It sounds like this woman might have some issues, so you just never know maybe God is going to use you and your wife to be a blessing to them through all this.
     
  13. Joe

    Joe New Member

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    I called what appears, according to your profile, your Sheriffs Department. I explained this situation as a "hypothetical", omitting any identifying info. They told me similarly as my Cop friend did here in Calif.

    The lady who answered said without hesitancy, "It NEEDS to be reported, it NEEDS to be on record"
    PLEASE call your Sheriff's Dept :thumbs:
    If this lady strikes again, it won't be blood on your hands.
    I also pray you continue to protect your wife, ensuring she is not in the presence of this lady ever again.


    Romans 13: 1-5
    1 John 3: 10-12
    1 Peter 3:12
     
    #33 Joe, Mar 31, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 31, 2008
  14. Joe

    Joe New Member

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    Huh? what are you doing here
    I believe Buck, and the info posted. Plenty of info offered to know this was pre-meditated. Yet it's a message board, so I'll never know for sure. I'll have to settle with having faith in him.
    I don't question that he is a forgiving person, why do you feel the need to ask? His posts seem to reflect this imo. Or what I know of them.
    You lost me. Who is righteous and lacking grace?
    I'll continue to pray also :saint: No need to reply if you so choose.
     
    #34 Joe, Mar 31, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 31, 2008
  15. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper Active Member

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    Joe, we do have prohibitions as Christians against taking each other before secular courts. You think this prohibition doesn't apply here? Just curious.
     
  16. Joe

    Joe New Member

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    This is reporting a crime, following the law. Not taking another brother to court.

    If he wanted to, after filing a police report, he could take the lady who attempted to kill his wife to small claims court for damages.

    But I don't recommend it.
     
    #36 Joe, Mar 31, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 31, 2008
  17. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper Active Member

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    I'm going to think about this tonight and look up the pertinant scripture in the morning (to tired to do so tonight), but I don't think there's much of a difference given.
     
  18. bapmom

    bapmom New Member

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    Joe,

    you actually have no idea if a crime was committed at all. You're insisting this brother and his wife keep up an offensive against this woman and you don't even know what was in her mind. It's entirely possible that she completely forgot about JDbuck's wife's allergies - most of us don't dwell on other people very often, and it can be easy to forget.

    Though it's more likely that she simply did not understand the severity of the allergy - especially as this dear lady's allergies are RARE - that means most of us have never encountered something like them and would not assume that it was possible to die of a reaction to pollen.

    IMO, it is overstepping your bounds to call their sheriff's department - that's going too far.

    JDbuck, I'm so glad to hear that your wife is alright. I'm sure everyone would understand if you asked the pastor to announce some sort of reminder and stress the rarity and severity of her allergies, so that people do not equate it with the allergies that many of them suffer on a lesser scale.

    :godisgood:
     
  19. queenbee

    queenbee Member

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  20. Joe

    Joe New Member

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    Do I know you lady???

    You are very confused. Please read the OP before replying. It would take to long to correct you, as your post is not based in any truthful, factual information.

    And please reply to each BBer individually, thank you.
     
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