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Need advice. Got a problem with a Sister in Christ.

ShagNappy

Member
Reading some of these replies it is obvious that Joe is the only person who read the entire OP before responding... and is clearly the only person who got it right.
 

Joe

New Member
Sorry, FTR it was Deacon poking fun at guns in church, not Steven2006.

I agree shagnappy, the majority must not have read the entire OP.
 

SaggyWoman

Active Member
1.) The Offending Lady needs to be removed from her position for a term of probation.

2.) Put a restriction on how the church can be decorated. Once, I was in a church where someone was allergic to poinsettias. While that person attended church there, Poinsettias were never placed.
 

Steven2006

New Member
Joe said:
Lost her temper? Where did you read that? She raised her voice as needed to show the seriousness of the situation and stated her beliefs as a matter of factly in no uncertain terms. There was no cursing or namecalling, you are assuming the worst.


You need to re-read his post. No where does it state she lost her temper. He is very upset, so maybe you could take your own advice and apologize to him for all of these negative "assumptions." Funny, you are concerned his wife is made the situation worse, yet what are you deliberately doing right now?

I have been trying to decide whether to even respond to your post, because I don't want to seem like I am pilling on to the OP and his wife. That is not my intention, and as I stated in my first post, I completely understand why and how they feel like they do. I can truly empathize with them, because I would be very defensive of my family as well.

But to answer your questions, it sure sounds as if they became angry, and by using the term "losing ones temper", I believe I am giving them the benefit of the doubt, that is out of character because of the seriousness of the situation, and not their personalities to normally do so (get angry). At least that was my intention of using that term.

my wife called the woman while I was sitting there and really got very loud with
her.

my wife hung up on her


more fed up and angry I get


My advise was what I felt would best help them in settling the situation in the most biblical way. The way that would best put the entire situation behind them and not cause more angst in their lives. If I have offended them, I do apologize, it was not my intentions. Also whether they regard that advise at all is obviously completely up to them, Your advise however IMO is the antitheses of that, and would be the very worst action they could take.
 

Deacon

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
I’ve re-read the OP and comments:
We all can agree on prayer for the parties involved. :praying:

The advice I gave concerns actions that Buck and his wife could take, not how to deal with the offending woman.
As I said, I think the pastor should be allowed to deal with that problem.
It seems to me that there's a lot of speculation about her motives.

I do know a bit about allergies; when Buck speaks of his wife’s throat beginning to close and hives, now that’s potentially a life threatening situation.

And 20 years with the same allergist with no significant relief (missed reading that :eek: )… it doesn’t sound like she’s growing out of the problem!
I couldn’t imagine the suffering spring would bring.
Perhaps it’s time for a second medical opinion.

Rob
 
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Jkdbuck76

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Hey folks.

My wife has been to three allergists throughout her lifetime. She is a very very rare case. Allergy shots trigger anaphylaxis on her. But that is not why I decided to post today.

I took some good advice. I invited her husband out for lunch and we discussed it and some other concerns in the church. He said his wife was really sorry (said she was "sick over it") and that it would never happen again.

I think its ok. Couldn't have asked for a better result. The church didn't split. I won my brother. Didn't have to take witnesses or even bring it up to the church. When you give things over to God, He'll take care of them.
 

Joe

New Member
Jkdbuck76 said:
I think its ok. Couldn't have asked for a better result. The church didn't split.
Someone was almost killed remember? And your main goal is the church staying together? Why would your results be important?
I won my brother.
It isn't about you :BangHead:

Except I am curious....What brother?
The husband (Deacon) who is married to the lady who tried to kill your wife?
What in the world would he have to be angry at you about? He is likely going to be sweet as pie to you. His wife could be prosecuted!
Didn't have to take witnesses or even bring it up to the church.
:eek: Why would you bring an attempted murderer in front of your church?
When you give things over to God, He'll take care of them.
I don't know who you gave it to, but it certainly wasn't God.

Don't take credit for not obeying the law at the expense of others.
In fact, I believe it is a crime in itself not to report it.



God help you if this happens again and someone is seriously injured or killed.
 
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queenbee

Member
Joe said:
Someone was almost killed remember? .......I don't know who you gave it to, but it certainly wasn't God.

Don't take credit for not obeying the law at the expense of others.
In fact, I believe it is a crime in itself not to report it.

God help you if this happens again and someone is seriously injured or killed.

In Buck's defence Joe - you and I weren't there at the lunch. So we have no idea what was or wasn't said. I personally think it took great courage & compassion to forgive a brother's wife. Do you not think God would be proud of Buck for doing so? Yes, it is easy to get righteous - (I do it all too frequently), but we learn from God and others and have the opportunity to practice grace as well.

Buck - as an aside, I hope that you have stressed to this brother the seriousness of anaphylactic shock - that your wife was in imminent danger of choking to death. In fact, I think you should take it one step further and have the Pastor & Elder board announce to the church that a decision has been reached to make XXXX church completely 'scent-and-allergy free'. Without naming names, everybody in the church has been put on notice that no perfumes, scents, flowers or other allergens will be permitted in this zone. I pray, as Joe does, that this will never happen again.
 

webdog

Active Member
Site Supporter
That is excellent advice, queenbee. Make it crystal clear in the instance something happens like this again.
 

Mexdeaf

New Member
Praise the Lord. Now I hope that if this lady still has something against the pastor that she will work it out with him and not get you and your wife involved in it.



Jkdbuck76 said:
Hey folks.

My wife has been to three allergists throughout her lifetime. She is a very very rare case. Allergy shots trigger anaphylaxis on her. But that is not why I decided to post today.

I took some good advice. I invited her husband out for lunch and we discussed it and some other concerns in the church. He said his wife was really sorry (said she was "sick over it") and that it would never happen again.

I think its ok. Couldn't have asked for a better result. The church didn't split. I won my brother. Didn't have to take witnesses or even bring it up to the church. When you give things over to God, He'll take care of them.
 

Steven2006

New Member
Jkdbuck76 said:
Hey folks.

My wife has been to three allergists throughout her lifetime. She is a very very rare case. Allergy shots trigger anaphylaxis on her. But that is not why I decided to post today.

I took some good advice. I invited her husband out for lunch and we discussed it and some other concerns in the church. He said his wife was really sorry (said she was "sick over it") and that it would never happen again.

I think its ok. Couldn't have asked for a better result. The church didn't split. I won my brother. Didn't have to take witnesses or even bring it up to the church. When you give things over to God, He'll take care of them.

I am so happy to hear this news, Praise the Lord! I commend you in how you handled yourself in a very difficult situation. It sounds like this woman might have some issues, so you just never know maybe God is going to use you and your wife to be a blessing to them through all this.
 

Joe

New Member
I called what appears, according to your profile, your Sheriffs Department. I explained this situation as a "hypothetical", omitting any identifying info. They told me similarly as my Cop friend did here in Calif.

The lady who answered said without hesitancy, "It NEEDS to be reported, it NEEDS to be on record"
PLEASE call your Sheriff's Dept :thumbs:
If this lady strikes again, it won't be blood on your hands.
I also pray you continue to protect your wife, ensuring she is not in the presence of this lady ever again.


Romans 13: 1-5
1 John 3: 10-12
1 Peter 3:12
 
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Joe

New Member
queenbee said:
In Buck's defence Joe -
Huh? what are you doing here
you and I weren't there at the lunch. So we have no idea what was or wasn't said.
I believe Buck, and the info posted. Plenty of info offered to know this was pre-meditated. Yet it's a message board, so I'll never know for sure. I'll have to settle with having faith in him.
I personally think it took great courage & compassion to forgive a brother's wife. Do you not think God would be proud of Buck for doing so?
I don't question that he is a forgiving person, why do you feel the need to ask? His posts seem to reflect this imo. Or what I know of them.
Yes, it is easy to get righteous - (I do it all too frequently), but we learn from God and others and have the opportunity to practice grace as well.
You lost me. Who is righteous and lacking grace?
Buck - as an aside, I hope that you have stressed to this brother the seriousness of anaphylactic shock - that your wife was in imminent danger of choking to death. In fact, I think you should take it one step further and have the Pastor & Elder board announce to the church that a decision has been reached to make XXXX church completely 'scent-and-allergy free'. Without naming names, everybody in the church has been put on notice that no perfumes, scents, flowers or other allergens will be permitted in this zone. I pray, as Joe does, that this will never happen again.
I'll continue to pray also :saint: No need to reply if you so choose.
 
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menageriekeeper

Active Member
Joe, we do have prohibitions as Christians against taking each other before secular courts. You think this prohibition doesn't apply here? Just curious.
 

Joe

New Member
menageriekeeper said:
Joe, we do have prohibitions as Christians against taking each other before secular courts. You think this prohibition doesn't apply here? Just curious.

This is reporting a crime, following the law. Not taking another brother to court.

If he wanted to, after filing a police report, he could take the lady who attempted to kill his wife to small claims court for damages.

But I don't recommend it.
 
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menageriekeeper

Active Member
I'm going to think about this tonight and look up the pertinant scripture in the morning (to tired to do so tonight), but I don't think there's much of a difference given.
 

bapmom

New Member
Joe,

you actually have no idea if a crime was committed at all. You're insisting this brother and his wife keep up an offensive against this woman and you don't even know what was in her mind. It's entirely possible that she completely forgot about JDbuck's wife's allergies - most of us don't dwell on other people very often, and it can be easy to forget.

Though it's more likely that she simply did not understand the severity of the allergy - especially as this dear lady's allergies are RARE - that means most of us have never encountered something like them and would not assume that it was possible to die of a reaction to pollen.

IMO, it is overstepping your bounds to call their sheriff's department - that's going too far.

JDbuck, I'm so glad to hear that your wife is alright. I'm sure everyone would understand if you asked the pastor to announce some sort of reminder and stress the rarity and severity of her allergies, so that people do not equate it with the allergies that many of them suffer on a lesser scale.

:godisgood:
 

queenbee

Member
Joe said:
Huh? what are you doing here.....

I'm sorry - was I supposed to check in with you first for permission to join this discussion?? I'll make sure I do that the next time.

You lost me. Who is righteous and lacking grace?

You are Joe - you're coming across in a very righteous tone toward Buck for not towing the line as far as you were concerned and certainly you've been condescending if the Huh? statement is anything to go by. I appreciate that your concerns are very real, but there are others on the forum who've experienced some similar situations as Buck and so their input might be valuable to him

And to quote you....I'll continue to pray also :saint: No need to reply if you so choose.
 

Joe

New Member
bapmom said:
Joe,

you actually have no idea if a crime was committed at all. You're insisting this brother and his wife keep up an offensive against this woman and you don't even know what was in her mind. It's entirely possible that she completely forgot about JDbuck's wife's allergies - most of us don't dwell on other people very often, and it can be easy to forget.

Though it's more likely that she simply did not understand the severity of the allergy - especially as this dear lady's allergies are RARE - that means most of us have never encountered something like them and would not assume that it was possible to die of a reaction to pollen.

IMO, it is overstepping your bounds to call their sheriff's department - that's going too far.

JDbuck, I'm so glad to hear that your wife is alright. I'm sure everyone would understand if you asked the pastor to announce some sort of reminder and stress the rarity and severity of her allergies, so that people do not equate it with the allergies that many of them suffer on a lesser scale.

:godisgood:

Do I know you lady???

You are very confused. Please read the OP before replying. It would take to long to correct you, as your post is not based in any truthful, factual information.

And please reply to each BBer individually, thank you.
 
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