Michael
I saw that one another place, and am not sure I have an answer.
Of this I am sure, I am sure you would be welcome to visit, no matter what you believe. On your becoming a member, that might be difficult for you, as the church isn't likely to change, and if they did, their sister churches would "drop fellowship" with them, which would be painful for those that are already there.
As you and I, and probably most anyone who has been a Baptist for very long, knows of the "long and bloody Baptist wars" over everything from whether there is a hell to some very trivial points. [An aside, Bishop Spong in his book "Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism" has a funny, but still true comment, about visiting a very small Tennessee town with two Baptist Churches. He inquired about why there were two, and the answer was returned, that one said there was no hell, and the other said the hell there ain't. Apologies for offending anyone there, but it is very true--I know where the town is, and been there several times.]
Primitive Baptists went through their own internal divisions over this and that, and there were little groups here and there with minor differences over these disputed points, and we were destroying ourselves. In 1992, most Primitive Baptists decided enough was enough, and to forget it and go back together. And I think that is our primary focus right now, keeping the peace within our churches. So, if you can accept us as we are, and think you can be happy with us, by all means join. If you can't, then your journey isn't over yet. I do pray that you can find a place that gives your soul rest. All of God's children deserve that, no matter what sign says over the door. From what you have said on the Board, and in our notes, I think you would probably fit best with the Separate Baptists, but I don't know of a church close to you. I don't think there is one on the Board -- they are a very small denomination, there are only about 8,000 of them. There is only one point, from your question, I think you would be in disagreement with them on, and that is missionary socieities, they have one.
I don't know if they have any active women ministers, but they have had them in times past, and may now. I have heard them. Some of their churches have musical instruments, some, maybe most, don't. They are also very Arminian in their theology. But they can be, not always, very hostile to non-Separate Baptists. But some of them can be very gracious. I have personally received both reactions from them. Maybe one was having an exceptionally bad day, and the other an exceptionally good one.
And I would agree with them on very little except baptism.
Hope it helps.
J.