JustasIam
The point of my post is that this pastor and his wife have people who are willing to help, but they won't trust others to run anything.
Sometimes this is attributed to selfishness, but sometimes the reason only certain in the church get to do things is their "fellowship" with the pastor/meeting any and every little desire he might have, not including the big "no-no's".
Some pastors draw strength from those they know they can trust, ( kinda sounds strange when the situation is that you can't trust the pastor).
I know this sortof detracts from the topic, but I will do my best to bring it into focus.
I suggest two things, only one will be effective in your "dilemma": 1st, invent something to do with the church that somebody else ISN'T already doing, something Biblical, within the guidelines of the church, meeting the pastor's approval, especially to involve him and the congregation, fellowship is a good excuse.
2nd: leave this church and find somewhere the pastor will let you do something, but first talk to the pastor before you leave, and if he won't hear it, leave!
Now to quickly get back on topic: If the pastor is thinking on quitting, it could be the congregation isn't living up to his expectation, but when Jeremiah wanted to quit, he said it was like a fire shut-up in his bones, he COULDN"T QUIT!
The question is who put the fire there? ow is it something as well covered as within the marrow of your bones can be extinguished and by what?
I believe in adding fuel to the fire, not trying to douse the flames!
JustasIam, I know too well what you're talking about. We left achurch like that. The pastor's family and one other family did everything in the church, a very active church. When it came time for some one else to give it a go, they just couldn't help but to "help" out.
We had a "homeschool support group" there, the same two families took that to their charge as well. After two years the original 12 families dwindled down to, you guessed it! two!
The "lesser" family left the church to pastor another one. I was "granted" the opportunity to lead a program. When I "failed" to heed the advice of the pastor's daughter in-law, I was told by the pastor,"One can follow the advice of others, or "suffer" the consequences"
We really had a good church before all this began to happen, but we are now in an excellant church.
Our old church, the one I joined right after I got saved, was called to preach in, filled with the Spirit of God, and had to leave for the sake of my family to avoid corruption.
I am very sad to report many in the church have left also. More than a few of the young people have gone way-out into the world. A young lady is facing prison for forgery and grand larceny,(this was one of the prominant) Another under investigation for the same. The church has pretty much gone through a complete makeover except for a certain few, that is the good point!
This man of God is really a good pastor, but I'm afraid he is too easily pulled in by a certain few.
I've seen a young preacher come in from another church and practically split the church, well can't say practically, he has.
So what is a pastor to do? Become callous, uncaring, lacking concern to the point of becoming so discouraged that he wants to quit?
I see my old pastor and he paints on his smile to greet me, all the while waiting for the right opportunity to pull out his little pen-knife and take a jab. His next opportunity will be soon at a youth meeting we're having next month he's preaching at. His son went on the mission field to replace a man who needed a year off, but when he came to present his work asking for support, he wielded his pen-knife and made sure to take a poke while "preaching"

Of course when swervice was over he painted on his little smile and shook my hand. I saw it as a smirk on his face knowing exactly what he'd done.
I look at all this, and a WHOLE lot I wouldn't dare get into, as prepatory class for a future event; my turn to pastor, hopefully less turmoil, but I don't expect any less. I hope to maintain the right attitude, now that's hard for a man to do, and the only way he can is to stay on his face before God in deep reverence to Him and with his congregation in mind.
I think of that line in that famous song, "He knew me, yet He loved me, when He was on the Cross, I was on His mind!" Shouldn't pastors be Christlike? Of course all Christians should be, well Christians are, that's what gives them the reputation of being one!
To all who have ever thought about quitting: Don't quit!! But if you can quit, then please, quit!
I've tried to quit, and I have never pastored, tried to help the pastor the best I knew how, but I can't quit! Too many lives at stake! I'm glad somebody didn't quit when I needed Him, Jesus NEVER quit, all the way to Calvary!
Oh, am I preaching? Well, that's what God called me to do! Why not preach where you can see people need help? PREACH!