When I was 11 years old, my daddy thought it was time we four boys became "a man". He gave each of us a 1 oz. shot of 151 proof rum on New Years Eve as a "toast" to bring in a new year. The "burn" was magic for me. It made me "feel" ten foot tall and bullet proof. (Some here know what I mean) This was to be the key for many years. I LIKED how it made me FEEL. (Every drunk will tell you a similar story)
So later on, I stole that bottle and drank it all. If a little made me FEEL good, then a lot would make me FEEL GREAT! For the next 20 years, this "chasing the buzz" would dominate my every thought.
"Chasing the buzz" cost me two carrers. One, as a Marine officer, the other in the accounting dept. for Albertson's Inc. It cost me many trips to county jail in THREE different states. It cost me 2 1/2 YEARS in prison, (due to drugs). You see, an 11 year old boy can't buy booze, but he CAN find pot, pills, LSD, cocaine, and learn to make meth. So I did. Over the years, "chasing the buzz" would drive me to use vodka, pills, pot, peyote, LSd and Hashish all in one night: on many occasions. "Chasing the buzz" would drive me to rob, burglarize, steal, lie, cheat, manipulate, con, pawn, and fight. "Chasing the buzz" would also lead to all sorts of deviant sexual behavior. (Use your imagination)
It bagan to culminate one night in Oct.1988. In a rage, I shot up my neighborhood with my 30.06 rifle. I was arrested for possession, sales, and distribution of narcotics. Probation. But still no stopping. One year later, I was arrested for Methamphetamine Conspiracy. Through it all "John Barleycorn" was my constant companion.
This time, I ran. Fugitive from justice for a year until FEDERAL AUTHORITIES caught up with me. Prison. When I was put in what was to be my "home" for the next 5 years(I was paroled after 2 1/2), I hit my knees. "God, I deserve this. Forgive me. Help me. Save me. I am yours from now on. Do what you will. Thank you". He heard me. "Ps 34:6, This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him OUT of all his troubles".
I was saved in 1980, but I was never discipled. I didn't understand OBEDIENCE. So I slipped back to my familiar ways. It was to be another 11 YEARS of running on "self will run riot". That day in 1991 in that prison cell, I truly understood repentance and the POWER of God.
Today, I preach in prisons, (including the one I did me time in).
No drunk, I repeat, NO DRUNK need struggle IF they surrender to God. Half hearted surrender doesn't cut it. God wants ALL OR NOTHING.
THIS IS WHY THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PART WAY. OR WHY THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS RECOVERING. YOU ARE EITHER RECOVERED, (past tense) OR YOU ARE NOT!!!
God either IS , or He is NOT! I really do not care what the opinion of other folks is. God either delivers 100%or He does NOT!!!
Alcoholism is NOT a disease. It is a repeated sinful behavior which become habitual that leads to addiction. If you want to CALL it a disease, please explain WHY it is the ONLY disease which can be arrested and CURED by quitting a behavior!!!
NO CHRISTIAN SHOULD DRINK.
In HIS service;
Jim