I was saved an Arminian/Semi-Pelagian. I believed God cast a vote, the Devil cast a vote, and I cast a vote. As God always voted "Heaven" and the Devil always voted "Hell" I had the deciding vote.
But I had a lot of doubts. I constantly wondered if I believed enough, or repented enough, or prayed the right prayer, or was sincere enough, or striving against sin enough."
My pastor preached "Calvinism bad." "Calvinism awful." "Calvinism terrible." But he recommended I read "Lectures to My Students" by Charles Spurgeon who, I discovered, was a Particular Baptist believing all 5 points of TULIP.
Then I went to Seminary. One of my professors was a Particular Baptist, believing in Particular Redemption (the Doctrines of Grace).
I listened to what he had to say and reluctantly came to understand that 3 of the 5 points of TULIP were correct, but I just couldn't accept Unconditional Election or Limited Atonement.
I believed Election was based on God's foreknowledge. He looked down the corridor of time and saw that one day I would believe so He elected me on that basis.
Then I learned to read Greek and came to realize the word translated "foreknew" was the word "foreordained." After more study I came to understand that election was not based on me, but on the "good pleasure of His will."
I also noticed if God had to look down the corridor of time to see that one day I would believe, He learned something. And if He learned something he was not Omniscient before, so He changed, even though He said "I change not." So, if He did that He was not really God as He lacked at least two of the attributes of God, Omniscience and Truthfulness.
So I reluctantly accepted an additional point.
But I still wasn't a (dirty word) 5 pointer.
Then a dear and godly friend asked me if I thought everybody, including the devil and his demons, would be saved. I said "No way!" He then said, "So you do believe in limited atonement! You limit it to humans, you exclude the devil and his demons." "Well, yes, but that's all," I said.
Then he said, "So you believe every person who ever lived and ever will live will be saved?" "No! No! Only those who believe and accept Christ as Savior!" Then he said "So you limit the atonement to believers only." "Uh, well, yes!"
Then he asked me the question I asked above. Two friends, etc.
I could not honestly answer that question. The difference was not that I was better than him in any way. The difference was in God's hands.
And I found myself to be a dreaded "5 Pointer."
And all my doubts vanished away. I told my friend so and he said, "Well of course! It was never about you and what you did. It was about God and what He did for you? Your problem was you just needed glasses. You had "I" trouble!"