Should a Christian mother/ wife work?

[Jimmy C]

I have tremendous respect for stay at home moms, and moms who choose to work outside the home. Both take talent and dedication. My wife was able to take a year off of work when our kids were young, and was off in the summertime as well. We both are flexible in our work schedules, and I work out of the house. for us, her working outside the home, works and keeps her sane. I imagine if you look at the overall costs associated with her working (taxes, clothes, car, gas, food etc), he final wage per hour is pretty low. Her job is ministry related and provides her great fulfillment as a career. Our kids are now older, and are wonderful, well adjusted kids. I dont see that her working had any negatve effect on them. In fact, as they are girls, the example thier mother has set for them will continue to serve them.

One other reason, I am in favor of women working outside the home (if they chose to), is that if something were ever to happen to me, my wife would not only have the insurance - but she would have her career to fall back on to provide for her and our girls.

 

[untangled]

My wife works now. She's even going to make most of the money while I'm in seminary. Its going to be a big change, but I'll hopefully get to pay most of the bills. When I get a church we will have kids - then she'll stay home with them. If she wants to do some hair on the side that's fine.

 

[5xBlessed]

I definitely think a mother should be home to raise her children full time if at all possible. Like it or not, our kids' lives are shaped by what they experience in and out of the home from very early on. I had to work when my oldest was 6 weeks old up until I had my second daughter. My oldest was 19 months at the time. I've always felt that part of who she is today is because I wasn't able to be with her full time when she was a baby. Maybe I'm crazy. I don't know. I regret not being able to be there full time for her. She's very, very different from my other four children and part of me wonders if it's because I had to go back to work when she was just a baby.

We have five children now and financially cannot get by on one income. I now work from home full time as a medical transcriptionist. It's not easy because my hours are so messed up. I start early and end very, very late (2-3 in the morning) because I have children to care for in between that time. It's exhausting but worth it, and I know I'm doing the right thing for them.

Lucy

 

[Care4U]

Honestly, I think most women WANT to stay home with their children. God made us that way. It is hard to get out of the trap of needing 2 incomes once you become used to them. But it isn't impossible. I think we need to encourage young couples to try to live off of the husbands income when they first become married. And put the wifes income into savings. Then it will be easy to stay home when she becomes a mother. I have heard from others that in this day and age it takes 2 incomes to survive. That is not true. You don't have to have a brand new car, a brand new house, and name brand clothing. This are things we want, but we don't need. It all comes down to priorities. If there is a will to stay home with your children, there is a way. God will help you! He helped us.

 

[Curious George]

I think it depends on the woman as to which road to take. Just because you stay home certainly doesn't mean that you are a good mother, a good housewife, or a good wife in general. If a woman's faith is strong, it doesn't matter who she interacts with (concerning the adultry) and will certainly be a beacon to shine her faith on to those that may not have as much as she. It all depends on the heart of a woman.
I do think that while the child is young (through about mid-elementary level), the mother should be home with the children. Those are indeed the years to mold the child.

 

[gb93433]

Originally posted by Care4U:
It is hard to get out of the trap of needing 2 incomes once you become used to them. But it isn't impossible. I think we need to encourage young couples to try to live off of the husbands income when they first become married. And put the wifes income into savings. Then it will be easy to stay home when she becomes a mother.

That's becoming less and less true. Rents and the cost of homes is increasing quite rapidly. Where I just moved from the average home costs 420,000. You cannot even buy a lot for less than 240,000. Rents are no less than $1400 for a shack. The average income was about 50,000 per family with two wage earners. It can be done though with more than one family per home. That is what some do who come to this country.

It doesn't take much math to figure out that most people living there cannot even pay their rent on one income unless they have a good paying job.

 

[I Am Blessed 24]

I have been on both sides of this fence and I admire ALL mothers who take care of their families - whether they work outside the home or not!

No one has to keep me 'under lock and key' at home to stop me from committing adultery. OTOH, if that's what I wanted to do, I could find the opportunity while staying at home all the time...

I have seen mothers who stay at home, work so much around the house (or with an in-home job), that they are too tired or out-of-patience to deal with the kids properly.

I have seen mothers who work outside of the home who do a tremendous job of raising their children and do NOT commit adultery.

And I have seen the reversal of both of these situations. I think the key here is to do what is best for your family - WHERE you work has nothing to do with anything (inside or outside the home) as long as you have your priorities straight.

There has been a lot of serious illness in my family through the years and I thank GOD for the wonderful nurses who chose NOT to stay home...

JMHO,
§ue (60-year old in-home/out-of-home mother of 4, grandmother of 16, raising a 10-year-old grandson now, home-schooling, and working part-time outside of the home - grandson is always with me)

"Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. Every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God."

 

[graceb2u]

I have done both. I worked in offices for 25 years off and on. But I have to tell you I have not gotten the satisfaction from working any job, as much as the satisfaction I get from staying home. I quit my job 4 years ago because of illness. I found staying at home really was the best thing for me. I love it! My daughters are both grown now. But I still love being home and being here for both of them and my husband. My husband likes me at home. He doesn't make me stay home but he would rather I be home. I have been so busy since I am at home too. I wonder sometimes how I got everything done all those years I worked.

 

[Care4U]

I agree that we don't want to raise our children in the slums just to be able to stay home with them. We need a safe environment for them. But we don't HAVE to live in the most expensive neighborhoods/communities either. I had to work until my oldest was 3 1/2. My husband didn't have insurance and his income wouldn't pay all the bills. While I was working we were able to save up enough money to pay off our debt. I recall on my last day at work, the woman officer of the department I was in came to my office and with tears in her eyes said. "I wish I could stay home with my 3 and 5 yr old. But we have just became so used to the money I make". That is so sad but true.

 

[Thankful]

An excellent post, Sue!

 

[bonniej]

My mother was always at home as I was growing up and as much as I wanted to stay at home, my husband wanted me to work and kept on until I went back to school and became an LPN. What he didn't realize was, that he was preparing me to be independent. We had alot of problems in our 26 yrs of marriage and after being browbeat once to often and fighting with him over a gun because he would threaten suicide, I left and never looked back. Most of my children's growing up years, I stayed at home as much as I could but did work in the school they were in so I could be at home and was able to home school one year. I believe in Mothers and or daddy's staying home with their children. I think God meant for the woman to stay at home but as long as one parent is there for their children if at all possible, then that parent needs to be there. I am not working now but it's because of my health and I have a 6 yr old granddaughter that lives with me but I am planning to start a Legal nurse Consulting business and have that in the works. Since my husband is retired and doesn't make enough to pay all the bills and he works out of a union, that means he doesn't always work so I am hoping this business will do well enough to supplement. So in that I need prayers. Proverbs 31 talks about the working woman but I don't think it necessarily means outside the home. She worked hard from morning til dark which we all can do - I know there's plenty around my home to find to do. Oh and in the middle of all that somewhere I was able to get my RN degree, so if you have to work, get the most you can out of it and go back to school if necessary. I was 40 and I'm 56 now, so it can be done.

 

[Fishnbread]

Hope you guys don't mind my imput, but recent statistics show that men that are unemployed are twice as likely to contract heart conditions, and likewise females that are employed are also twice as likely to contract fatal heart conditions, this is due to hormonal and genetic differences. That along with the Bible's account on a man's and woman's appointed role in the family can only lead me to say that men should support there families financial needs and women should support there families organizational household needs. Now on the subject of lacking in money if there is not enough cash the father should simply work harder and longer to make more money. This is why it is so important that people should get a proper education to prevent things like lack money from getting in the way of use following the Bible.

your servant
-Fishnbread

 

[I Am Blessed 24]

Fish: It is usually a lack of money that STOPS people from getting a proper education in the first place.

I know well-educated men who are out of work and it isn't because a woman took their job.

Also, if the father works harder and longer - his family is going to suffer. He may think he is putting them first, but he's not...

 

[AVL1984]

Fish, it's not always possible for people to get the education they need. Many cannot finish high school because of family financial needs. I've seen it many times where a Jr. or Sr. in high school has HAD to drop out to help support his family. Many who are in college cannot finish for the same reasons, or others that remain unmentioned. I have two cousins who both earned their college degrees, and neither one of them is using that degree. Not only that, but one was laid off six months ago when the company she worked for went to Canada. Her brother is facing layoff from a company where he is a site manager because of a buyout/merger.
Now, I personally do not see anything wrong with a mother working outside of the home. Of course, my mother did so, and there were six of us kids at home. I believe that is for each individual family to decide for themselves.

 

[menageriekeeper]

Well I too, have been on both sides of the fence.

When T and I were first married we'd have starved if we hadn't both worked.

When our first daughter was born we still weren't financially able to survive without both our salaries. By the time we were expecting our son things had improved to the point where we only needed about half my salary to live. By the time he was born we had rearranged our finances enough for me to quit and stay home.

That took some hard decision making and meant that we had to sell the larger 3 bedroom home we'd been living in to move into a five room home that had belonged to T's grandmother. We managed to live there for 5 years. In the end we had three kids(2 girls, 1 boy) in one bedroom, our bedroom was also my sewing room(I ran a dressmaking business) and also stored T's computer stuff for his consulting business, and the kitchen was kitchen/dining/laundry/office all in one 12 by 18 space. The only room that didn't double was the livingroom, but then again it was the playroom too....

Even in such a small place with so many children, and no doors on the bedrooms, we never regretted my staying home with the children.

My children are now 6,9 and 12 and all in school. They won't hear of my taking a part time job outside the house. They think it would be a horrible fate if I wasn't there to pick them up from school. We finally comprimised on my being able to substitute teach for the same school system they attend. It still took them 2 whole years to get used to it and not complain about what would they do if they got sick at school and I was at work(land's sake, Nanny might have to come get them instead of me! )

I am still allowed to do a certain amount of dressmaking as long as my customers don't interfere with the kids activities.......Hey whose supposed to be the head of this family anyway? Oh yeah, I remember, T is. Well he thinks I should be here to cart the kids around too. At least he doen't expect a clean house and gourmet meals.

 

[Fishnbread]

I understand what you guys are trying to tell me but I don't agree with any of it, my reason is because of Mark 11:22 and 23, please look it up before any of you start talking about what people can and can't do.

And to I Am Blessed 16, you are making this a social issue when it is not, it is a Baptist issue so please next time state some type of Biblical basis to support your hypothesis.

P.S if any one want's to be at a elevated risk of heart attack go ahead and get a job, after all the money is so much more important than your health, don't you agree?

your servant
-Fishnbread

 

[dianetavegia]

The Atlanta Journal reported that the majority of CEO's in this area are middle aged white women with the most easily employed, black gay men.

Women ARE taking the jobs from men! My husband has an engineering degree and now works 2 jobs. One is selling pest control services! The other is selling musical items and services and the pay is few and far between.

 

[Rachel]

I agree with you Diane that alot of women are taking mens jobs from them. Can you imagine what this country would be like if just all Christian women stayed home or worked only from home?? There would be alot of jobs for our men out there to pick from. I really think that would solve much of the money problems alot of us have.

Rach

 

[I Am Blessed 24]

Fishnbread:

Are you married?

 

[Karen]

Originally posted by Rachel:
I agree with you Diane that alot of women are taking mens jobs from them. Can you imagine what this country would be like if just all Christian women stayed home or worked only from home?? There would be alot of jobs for our men out there to pick from. I really think that would solve much of the money problems alot of us have.

Rach

Dear Rachel,
I have to disagree with this in several ways.
Most women of my acquaintance that work outside the home do so because they and their husbands think that it is necessary. Not because they are out to find fulfillment.
On a practical basis, if women stayed home, men would not have more jobs to pick from. We would have a major depression, and supply and demand for all kinds of services and products would be greatly reduced.
If leaving the outside work force is the right thing to do for Christian women, many results would not be what we would like or expect.

Karen