Should women work rather than stay home

Glory-to-God · Nov 15, 2005

Karen

Glory-to-God,
I am NOT saying that you were wrong to go on "assistance" or that other people should not.
However, that wasn't quite what I pictured originally when you said trust God to supply your needs.

Karen
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Ok that was an ignorant comment Karen. I was on it for only 3 years till my child could go to daycare or preschool. That was HOW important I thought it was to be a MOTHER ! Especially in his EARLY years when he needed me the most. I would never leave my child with someone I didn't personally know and trust any younger...because a very young child cannot tell you if something is wrong....and he is not being treated right. I used the system the way it was INTENDED to be used...for a very short period...not as a living as some do !

Glory-to-God · Nov 15, 2005

Lets see I have put in 9 years into the work force before I got married. So I think I deserved public assistance for a few years when I needed it !

I said I had sinned and because of my SIN I had to make choices that were not Gods BEST. Just goes to show you what I am talking about...when we sin or seek our wants and desires...before seeking Gods ordained plan and will for our lives. This is exactly what happens. Public assistance...debt...mothers working ETC !

Thankful · Nov 15, 2005

Perhaps you do not realize that your public assistance was provided in part by working mothers. Surely, your statistics will show that.

Marco · Nov 15, 2005

Glory-to-God, do you feel preschool and daycare is ok?

I was on it for only 3 years till my child could go to daycare or preschool.
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I guess my question is how did you come up with a formula that said a child is old enough to be taken care of by somebody else? Is this based on a Biblical number or is this a personal opinion?

Glory-to-God · Nov 15, 2005

perhaps you do not realize that your public assistance was provided in part by working mothers. Surely, your statistics will show that.
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Whatever ?

No I put into what I got out of it and so has my husband who has worked for 40 years I think that covers ME and many more.

We don't need working mothers to help put into assistance...there are enough working dads for that. You are grasping at straws here.

Glory-to-God · Nov 15, 2005

Marco I already answered that here

I said I had sinned and because of my SIN I had to make choices that were not Gods BEST. Just goes to show you what I am talking about...when we sin or seek our wants and desires...before seeking Gods ordained plan and will for our lives. This is exactly what happens. Public assistance...debt...mothers working ETC !

Thankful · Nov 15, 2005

Grasping at straws here.
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Yes, you are. I totally agree

Glory-to-God · Nov 15, 2005

That is all very wonderful, I wish I had it this way but in today's society, how many really live this way? Not every seemingly Christian household even know where God stands on the subject of child rearing and family. I didn't have this luxury or this experience.

I was a latchkey kid and it wasn't fun at all. I spent 10 if not more hours out of the home and my mother even more and this is just one day. I had the wonderful influences of TV and those who were not appointed to care for me or my siblings. My mother did not raise me, implement any sort of standards, principles, morals, etc. I was a free bird, we were more like friends. This being a not so Christian household, there's not much to expect.

Really, how many truly live according to God's wishes, WOH or SAH? Practically my whole family are "Christian" yet live separate lifestyles, two working parents and children left in another's care. I have not seen a benefit of two parents working outside the home, this is just my observation.

Growing up, none of my friends had a parent who stayed home and the outcome wasn't great. Even my "conservative" dad and step mom were apart of this trend. They had two good paying jobs, she was an Exec and wanted to be an independent woman. Free from a man, have self worth, etc.

I guess this is the stigma of the mother working outside the home. Whenever I tell someone I choose not to work outside, I get fem nazi comments about not relying on a man and living for myself and having standards. Somehow having a degree signifies one's worth, which I do not have. Explaining why I choose not to work can be hard because I don't fit into the modern woman of today.

Yes, many say there's nothing wrong with working out of necessity, I understand that. There are many unforseen circumstances that occur where the wife has to work, but I don't know a single woman who fits that. Those I do know work because it's what women are supposed to do.

Where there is a will, there's a way. Careful planning and budgeting can allow a mom to stay at home. Snap, we are young, military, poor according to Ca standards and we make it on one income. I turned down a job when we married just so we could learn to live on one income and do without the stress of downsizing once children came along.

I do believe a women have a set role, we are to be the caregivers and nurturers. While women working is just fine, making outside work a "career" I don't see as a necessity. Proving yourself to be the next CEO of a fortune 500 is not entirely God's best. Working to make excess is just that, excessive, not making ends meet.

I have no problem working if my husband became injured or in the event of his death, as that would be my only choice. I have put off attending college because I didn't want to be a slave to the workforce while my family paid the prices, I wanted to do something that would allow me to spend quality time with my loved ones.

This is why I feel so strongly about SAH as I didn't have a good experience with a WOHM. I simply don't fit the mantra of today, go to college, become successful, and make good money. If I followed this societal trend, I would have put off marriage and children because work became my life.

Conservative Christians may be the exception to what I see as the norm. I'm sure those who stand on the Word of God can implement good sound morals, values, standards while keeping the house running if that means the wife has to work.

For me, it's not so much about those who work out of need, it's those who want a *career* and excessiveness outside of the homelife. If one thinks she can't SAH because she would go crazy and a second income was not needed, why have children?

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Funny how those who are saying I am being judgmental are themselves JUDGMENTAL ! read matthew 7:1-5 carefully.

Maybe you all didn't read where I said I had to work as a single mother....maybe you all didn't read where I said it was Gods BEST and ORDAINED plan that kids have a two parent home, where dads worked and moms stay home. As I was able to show in scripture.

Maybe you didn't read where I said I understood that there are special circumstances ( although I think many people cause their circumstances like going into debt and wonder how they got there )

Maybe you didn't read where I said we have lots of problems in this world because of SIN as mentioned in Genesis.

Maybe you didn't read where I NEVER said it was wrong for a woman to work outside the home....I and bapmom said it was best for the women to stay home while they had small children at home....or to work around their childrens school schedule if older.

We as a society have fallen for the lie that the world has adopted in many areas. Role reversals for example men trying to be like women and men trying to be like women. And our children as a whole are suffering because of it. We have adopted the worlds notion that everything is realitive....that there are NO ABSOLUTES...I think that is very sad

I didn't know a Baptist forum could be so liberal....where are all the fundamentalist ? Sorry but every preacher I have heard on this subject of marriage and the families roles say the same thing. Christians I personally know believe the same thing.

Personally all I see are people justifying the choices they or others they know have made in life.

Statistics show that the main reasons women are in the work force today are.

1) More single women in the last 30 years than there ever was....due to divorse or unmarried.

2) Couples wanting more " Stuff " Than they really need.

3) More and more people living way beyond their means and are in way to much debt.

4) Women want a career more than they want to stay home with kids.

If you notice these reasons are because of SIN and SELFISHNESS ! Not Gods BEST.
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This is exactly what I'm talking about. I see this quite often, the urge to be a workaholic, Mrs. Independent, I need no man to support me, wife and mother.

This is what *I* have to deal with, as I am old fashioned and doing a disservice to the feminist movement. Maybe it's just my era as values, standards, morals have greatly changed over the years.
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Good post

Marco · Nov 15, 2005

Well, no offense Glory. But it's easy to show someone elses Sin when you are not a mother of a young child anymore nor did you follow up on the advice you give.
You know a lot of kids don't even have dads nor pay child support. If women never worked our society would be in huge trouble.
It's great to be an older woman like yourself and say "Let God provide"...but when you are young, like you once were, things don't work that way.

Glory-to-God · Nov 15, 2005

What about Gods BEST do you not understand ??? what about this example and the one above by another poster did you not get !!!

I did the same. I stayed home the first three years as a single mother using assistance ( something I never heard of before in my life since we were taught how to work and NO one in our whole family ever was on it, I always worked...didn't even know about unemployment ) Anyway I relyed on God to provide my needs and he did...shopped alot at thrift stores and people in my family and church helped out...and I did some babysitting. I even thithed and gave generously often to others in need...trusting God would supply. When I decided to get off assistance I cleaned houses 2 a day 5 days a week for 2 1/2 years till I met my husband. I found a job I was good at and still be flexible for my son. who ended up after a few daycares to go to our churches preschool. GREAT PRESCHOOL !

Neither one of us had a history of debt...he had a Goverment job...but we were paying $1,500 a month for his child support and alamony....our mortage....private school for my older son....thithing and bills. Not much left over for us after all that ( plus both our cars were payed for ) We literally lived off 200 a week for...gas ...food...diapers babies etc. Still shopped at the thrift store...still looked for bargins any where I could. Ate alot of chicken mac and cheese and taco bell

My husband is older and when his daughter got married to her first husband at 23 they had to have everything NEW...house brand new just built...cars new...furniture new...$9,000 wedding ring...etc. marriage lasted less than 2 years....she marries again same thing. Debt ! Debt ! Debt !

That is the way most young people live today they have to have it all NOW. forget living with hand me downs for ten years till you can afford new stuff like we did.

Sorry but this is a problem with most Americans. Materialism....and wrong priorites bottom line !
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menageriekeeper · Nov 15, 2005

But you have neglected the more important matters of the law--justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. Matt 23:23b-24

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Matt 7:3

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Cor 13:1

Glory-to-God · Nov 15, 2005

Your right homosexuals and single mother by CHOICE are saying the same to you when YOU disagree with their stance on what THEY think is right or wrong. Neither one of YOU have any absolutes...so now who is the hypocrite ?

So what do you say to them ?

Can't tell them they are wrong since you yourself have redefined and justifyed Gods ordained WILL and plan for your life and what his word has to say about GENDER roles in marriage !

Nothing I have said has been judgmental or hypocritcal I admitted i had SINNED and lost out on Gods BEST for a while because of it. What is your excuse ?

Glory-to-God · Nov 15, 2005

Since I started this topic can we have this thread closed ?

Thankful · Nov 15, 2005

Finally.

Glory-to-God · Nov 15, 2005

yeah I know Its hard to handle the truth sometimes...but I know GOOD came out of it either way.

Petrel · Nov 15, 2005

I'll just say that from what I've seen on the board Thankful is one of the most kind-hearted people here and Marco is more godly than many here who've been saved longer. It's been an honor being on your side.

blackbird · Nov 15, 2005

Originally posted by Glory-to-God:
Since I started this topic can we have this thread closed ?
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OK!

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