Should women work rather than stay home

[chipsgirl]

My mom had no choice but to work after my parents were divorced. I don't hold that against her. I do feel if you can afford to stay home then do it. I would gladly sacrifice some luxaries for the chance to stay home and be closer to my children. I pray everyday that happens for me.

 

[TexasSky]

Amen Chipsgirl.

 

[chipsgirl]

Sometimes you just can't help it. My mom couldn't.

 

[gb93433]

Originally posted by Glory-to-God:

I disagree that most women work because they have to ( maybe because of bad choices in their life they do ) What happened to trusting God to meet our needs when we put him and his WILL first ?

You are right. One could be lazy and be a bum. Some are more like the woman in Prov. 31 who have servants and is a merchant. Some are in business and buy and sell merchandise. Some have actually invented products. While at the same time some choose to not better themselves. Some women work because they want to give and not keep what they have. I know a family which gave 50% of what they made. They were not self employed and worked for someone else. Some work so they have something to give to others who need help. Some work by volunteering at places like crisis pregnancy centers.

 

[gb93433]

 

[bapmom]

Ive gotta say, Salamander, the more you talk on about any issue the worse it gets. Im not embarrassed about my stance, Ive tried to make sure ya'all know that Im not pointing fingers at anyone.....but some of ya'all are embarrassing.

Virginity of daughters has nothing to do with stay-at-home moms or working moms. Really, that would probably be affected more by the daughter's relationship with her own father.....so why even go there? Its again unfair.

And Baptist Cross, the passage you referred to with gold and braided hair? also talks about wearing clothes....it isn't implying that those things are wrong in and of themselves...Its talking about a woman's EMPHASIS. We aren't supposed to be all caught up in how well we are dressed, or how perfect our hair is or how much jewelry we have. The EMPHASIS for a lady is to be her home. Whether she HAS to work, or whether in her household's case she CAN work without neglecting the care of small children is really beside the point.
Its the EMPHASIS.

And may I say, we all agree on this! Isn't that wonderful how Christian brothers and sisters can get together and agree on this even though our individual situtations vary?

 

[Marco]

"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shame-facedness and sobriety; NOT with broided [braided] hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array." (I Timothy 2:9)

I don't know, maybe Baptist Cross has a point. Who decides what is EMPHASIS compared to what the Bible says "the truth, God's BEST"?

Maybe the EMPHASIS is mothers should try to be home for her kids, maybe 51% of the time and not 49% fulfills the Emphasis.

bapmom is closer to the truth, I think she said something like this.

Anyway, Working Moms love their kids just as much as any stay-at-home mom.

 

[Glory-to-God]

Texassky I do not know what anything you just said had to do with anything I just said

The man decided that God was leading him to work with mentally handicapped and mentally retarded individuals. That career doesn't make one rich, Glory-to-God

Are you saying since your husband didn't have a job that made him " RICH " that you had to go to work.....that both your goals was to become " RICH " ? not sure what you are saying ?

What does that have to do with Gods Best and his ordained role for man and women. From what I have gathered from your post you have a high powwer job making LOTS of money and that is the career you CHOOSE over being a homemaker ( which by the way is a full time career and personally more rewarding than making big bucks and prestiege )the day you both decided to have children.... and you had them that was the day God intended YOU to take care of them not anyone else...he gave them to you both....that was to be your job. And by faith in God he would have provided for ALL yours needs and more than likely even your wants !

Sorry still not convincing me

 

[Glory-to-God]

I agree bapmom....my points exactly.

 

[Petrel]

Originally posted by Glory-to-God:
What does that have to do with Gods Best and his ordained role for man and women. From what I have gathered from your post you have a high powwer job making LOTS of money and that is the career you CHOOSE over being a homemaker ( which by the way is a full time career and personally more rewarding than making big bucks and prestiege )the day you both decided to have children.... and you had them that was the day God intended YOU to take care of them not anyone else...he gave them to you both....that was to be your job. And by faith in God he would have provided for ALL yours needs and more than likely even your wants !

TexasSky and I do not agree on many things, but I can say for sure she is not grasping for all the cash she can get. (I mention our disagreements only so that my endorsement of her lack of greed will be more credible. . .) You're making a lot of ungenerous assumptions here about people you know nothing about, and I can't say it is helping convince me that you know what God thinks is best.

 

[Glory-to-God]

Post from Texassky.....

Glory to God,

You just get more and more and more insulting and judgmental don't you?

Now I made "bad choices" because God gave me different things in life to deal with than he gave you?

What in the world is wrong with you ? I never named called or put down anyone ( unlike what YOU and a few are doing to me ) ! I DON'T even think about you when I write....in fact I personally don't think about anyone in particular. I speak in general terms not absolutes. If only some of you would understand that. Maybe you wouldn't have so much anger.

[ November 15, 2005, 06:48 PM: Message edited by: Glory-to-God ]

 

[Glory-to-God]

Petrel I have read many of your posts...the way you come across...name calling and being highly judgmental...with not much to say regarding Gods word. Makes me not really care what you have to say to me. You have to earn respect and so far you haven't earned mine.

 

[Petrel]

Well, I guess it's mutual then.

 

[Glory-to-God]

It becomes very evident real soon who knows their Bible and who doesn't

 

[gb93433]

Some women prefer to ignore the woman in Prov. 31 and teach the heresy that women should always stay home. The woman in Prov. 31 was found among the merchants selling items. She was found buying a piece of land and working hard at planting it. Many women worked during WWII. Then when the war was over it was theologically incorrect to work. Women were in the millitary during WWII and afterward.

Some Christian ladies love to stay at home and raise their children on welfare.

But if one goes to the desert in Arizona east of Yuma they will find that land is very cheap and they can live like a hermit for very little. But if a person lives in San Francisco or Napa they will find it to be rather expensive. So if the only aim is to be home and live cheaply then that person can easily live in the desert where there are rattlesnakes to witness to. The problem that if one reads the Bible usually they will find that Paul went to the centers of trade where the people were.

In America, a person can choose to be a hermit and live where it is cheap and there are no people or they can go where the people are and it is more expensive to live. The problem is that ministry is always done where there are people.

 

[le bel]

Wow - Talk about people throwing stones - - -

I am a working mother.
I have friends who are good Mom's who don't work.
I have friends who are good Mom's who do work.
I know people who are TERRIBLE Mom's - period - quite a few of them "stay at home."

The assumption made here by a great many of you is flat out rude, insulting, inaccurate and SINFUL. Yes, SINFUL.

I do EVERYTHING that every stay-at-home mother does and THEN I work on top of that.

You are spreading rumors, false wittness, to things you obviously have no idea about.

I have worked since my children were born. I did not WANT to. I WANTED to be, and PLANNED to be, a stay-at-home. I guess God had other ideas though. My daughter was "past due" when her father lost his job. To eat, to have a home, to even pay for her delivery, I had to continue with the job I had planned to give up.

But you know what? I worked 100% harder at being a mother because of that. I got up early so that I had time with her (and later her brother.) I breast-fed, and when I went to work and she stayed with her grandmother I pumped so she could have the benefits of breast feeding.

I used my lunch hour to visit her and rock her.

I rocked her to sleep at night, read bible stories to her before she could sit up, sang to her...

I taught her to read.
I helped her with her homework.
I knew every one of her friends by names.
I never missed a single school party or school event from kindergarten to graduation.

I cooked. I cleaned.

I hand made every halloween costume she ever wore.
I fixed her hair for every dress performance she ever was in.

I taught her to ride a bike.

I was there when she cried with joy and when she cried with sorrow.

I did the SAME thing for my son, only instead of dance and orchestra it was football, baseball and orchestra.

She is not only a fine Christian, but she is a missionary for the Lord with a college education. She calls me several times a week just to talk to me. We're VERY close.

My son hasn't graduated yet, but we talk for hours. He already begs me to let him get a job. He is a fine Christian also, who comes home worried about how to help others who are NOT Christian.

I know his friends by name too.

Its not easy. I get up earlier, I go to bed later. I've learned to survive on less sleep.

It wasn't the life I wanted, but every time I talked about quitting their father asked me to keep working, so I did.

See, he was a social worker, and society doesn't CARE about social workers. His salary didn't pay the living expenses. We weren't buying yachts and jewels with my salary. We were buying school supplies and clothing.

As to the "non-working" mothers and their perfection? Give me a break!

There were never less than 25 kids in any class any of my children took in school. The same families showed up for every event. Two of them non-working mothers, the rest who showed were working mothers who did not want to neglect their kids.

The non-working moms always had an art-class, or a tennis-match at the country club. They "wanted a little time away" from their kids.

The drug addicts were the kids who had wealthy parents and stay at home moms. (No, that's not an assumption. A flat out fact. Two are dead, three are in jail today.)

My mother worked all my life.
She didn't want to either.
She was a nurse. She had a sick child.
They needed money for medical bills.

She cooked me breakfast.
She was home within an hour of when I got out of school.

My sister is a working Mom.
She takes her kid to school every morning.
(I did too until my son asked to please let him walk.)
She picks her child up after school every afternoon.
(I did that too until THIS year. He is an 8th grader and we live one block from the school. He gets out of school 15 minutes before I get off work.)

I've quit higher paying jobs to accept the job that wanted my skills and agreed to let me do whatever my children needed.

I cook.
I clean.
I sew.
I do yard work.
I teach them God's word.
I pray with them.
I love them.

And to those of you who are sitting out there with your self-righteous ways.

How DARE you imply that you love your children more than I love mine? Or that you care for your children better than I care for mine?

That is all very wonderful, I wish I had it this way but in today's society, how many really live this way? Not every seemingly Christian household even know where God stands on the subject of child rearing and family. I didn't have this luxury or this experience.

I was a latchkey kid and it wasn't fun at all. I spent 10 if not more hours out of the home and my mother even more and this is just one day. I had the wonderful influences of TV and those who were not appointed to care for me or my siblings. My mother did not raise me, implement any sort of standards, principles, morals, etc. I was a free bird, we were more like friends. This being a not so Christian household, there's not much to expect.

Really, how many truly live according to God's wishes, WOH or SAH? Practically my whole family are "Christian" yet live separate lifestyles, two working parents and children left in another's care. I have not seen a benefit of two parents working outside the home, this is just my observation.

Growing up, none of my friends had a parent who stayed home and the outcome wasn't great. Even my "conservative" dad and step mom were apart of this trend. They had two good paying jobs, she was an Exec and wanted to be an independent woman. Free from a man, have self worth, etc.

I guess this is the stigma of the mother working outside the home. Whenever I tell someone I choose not to work outside, I get fem nazi comments about not relying on a man and living for myself and having standards. Somehow having a degree signifies one's worth, which I do not have. Explaining why I choose not to work can be hard because I don't fit into the modern woman of today.

Yes, many say there's nothing wrong with working out of necessity, I understand that. There are many unforseen circumstances that occur where the wife has to work, but I don't know a single woman who fits that. Those I do know work because it's what women are supposed to do.

Where there is a will, there's a way. Careful planning and budgeting can allow a mom to stay at home. Snap, we are young, military, poor according to Ca standards and we make it on one income. I turned down a job when we married just so we could learn to live on one income and do without the stress of downsizing once children came along.

I do believe a women have a set role, we are to be the caregivers and nurturers. While women working is just fine, making outside work a "career" I don't see as a necessity. Proving yourself to be the next CEO of a fortune 500 is not entirely God's best. Working to make excess is just that, excessive, not making ends meet.

I have no problem working if my husband became injured or in the event of his death, as that would be my only choice. I have put off attending college because I didn't want to be a slave to the workforce while my family paid the prices, I wanted to do something that would allow me to spend quality time with my loved ones.

This is why I feel so strongly about SAH as I didn't have a good experience with a WOHM. I simply don't fit the mantra of today, go to college, become successful, and make good money. If I followed this societal trend, I would have put off marriage and children because work became my life.

Conservative Christians may be the exception to what I see as the norm. I'm sure those who stand on the Word of God can implement good sound morals, values, standards while keeping the house running if that means the wife has to work.

For me, it's not so much about those who work out of need, it's those who want a *career* and excessiveness outside of the homelife. If one thinks she can't SAH because she would go crazy and a second income was not needed, why have children?

Funny how those who are saying I am being judgmental are themselves JUDGMENTAL ! read matthew 7:1-5 carefully.

Maybe you all didn't read where I said I had to work as a single mother....maybe you all didn't read where I said it was Gods BEST and ORDAINED plan that kids have a two parent home, where dads worked and moms stay home. As I was able to show in scripture.

Maybe you didn't read where I said I understood that there are special circumstances ( although I think many people cause their circumstances like going into debt and wonder how they got there )

Maybe you didn't read where I said we have lots of problems in this world because of SIN as mentioned in Genesis.

Maybe you didn't read where I NEVER said it was wrong for a woman to work outside the home....I and bapmom said it was best for the women to stay home while they had small children at home....or to work around their childrens school schedule if older.

We as a society have fallen for the lie that the world has adopted in many areas. Role reversals for example men trying to be like women and men trying to be like women. And our children as a whole are suffering because of it. We have adopted the worlds notion that everything is realitive....that there are NO ABSOLUTES...I think that is very sad

I didn't know a Baptist forum could be so liberal....where are all the fundamentalist ? Sorry but every preacher I have heard on this subject of marriage and the families roles say the same thing. Christians I personally know believe the same thing.

Personally all I see are people justifying the choices they or others they know have made in life.

Statistics show that the main reasons women are in the work force today are.

1) More single women in the last 30 years than there ever was....due to divorse or unmarried.

2) Couples wanting more " Stuff " Than they really need.

3) More and more people living way beyond their means and are in way to much debt.

4) Women want a career more than they want to stay home with kids.

If you notice these reasons are because of SIN and SELFISHNESS ! Not Gods BEST.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. I see this quite often, the urge to be a workaholic, Mrs. Independent, I need no man to support me, wife and mother.

This is what *I* have to deal with, as I am old fashioned and doing a disservice to the feminist movement. Maybe it's just my era as values, standards, morals have greatly changed over the years.

 

[Glory-to-God]

gb93433 NOT GETTING IT !

It has been mentioned several times that the EXAMPLE in Proverbs 31 showed she was a WIFE and MOTHER FIRST !

No one is saying a women can't work around her childrens school hours...or part-time. God ordained the man to be the soul provider....the woman to be the homemaker...not other people. If a women can manage her home, kids and husband first...earning some money on the side is just fine that is what I do.

Doesn't matter where you live ! We all choose where we can live...if you can't afford where you live than move...buy a smaller house cut back on nonessentials !

I loved bapmoms examples of what they did so she could be a stay at home mom taking care of her God given responsibilty.

I did the same. I stayed home the first three years as a single mother using assistance ( something I never heard of before in my life since we were taught how to work and NO one in our whole family ever was on it, I always worked...didn't even know about unemployment ) Anyway I relyed on God to provide my needs and he did...shopped alot at thrift stores and people in my family and church helped out...and I did some babysitting. I even thithed and gave generously often to others in need...trusting God would supply. When I decided to get off assistance I cleaned houses 2 a day 5 days a week for 2 1/2 years till I met my husband. I found a job I was good at and still be flexible for my son. who ended up after a few daycares to go to our churches preschool. GREAT PRESCHOOL !

Neither one of us had a history of debt...he had a Goverment job...but we were paying $1,500 a month for his child support and alamony....our mortage....private school for my older son....thithing and bills. Not much left over for us after all that ( plus both our cars were payed for ) We literally lived off 200 a week for...gas ...food...diapers babies etc. Still shopped at the thrift store...still looked for bargins any where I could. Ate alot of chicken mac and cheese and taco bell

My husband is older and when his daughter got married to her first husband at 23 they had to have everything NEW...house brand new just built...cars new...furniture new...$9,000 wedding ring...etc. marriage lasted less than 2 years....she marries again same thing. Debt ! Debt ! Debt !

That is the way most young people live today they have to have it all NOW. forget living with hand me downs for ten years till you can afford new stuff like we did.

Sorry but this is a problem with most Americans. Materialism....and wrong priorites bottom line !

[ November 15, 2005, 07:33 PM: Message edited by: Glory-to-God ]

 

[Karen]

Glory-to-God,
I am NOT saying that you were wrong to go on "assistance" or that other people should not.
However, that wasn't quite what I pictured originally when you said trust God to supply your needs.

Karen

 

[baptistcross]

Glory NOT GETTING IT !

No one is saying a women can't work around her childrens school hours

No one says you can't work during non school hours. Where did you come up with this**Edit**? So, it's okay for older kids to be taken care by others. No Homeschooling Glory? The Bible just meant for mothers to be home for toddlers.

Doesn't matter where you live ! We all choose where we can live...

Here is a perfect example of American ignorance. **insult removed**Most people in the world cannot just go and choose where they live. Maybe she hasn't left her neigborhood because most Americans cannot just get up and go either. God helps those who help themselves. I guess she thinks mothers in other countries stay home.

I did the same. I stayed home the first three years as a single mother using assistance.

I'm glad I paid through my taxes so you could care for your kid at home instead of getting a job. So what? **Personal attack removed**

Sorry but this is a problem with most Americans. Materialism....

Get out. Leave. Go to this imaginary country where people look though a distorted lens.

**Personal insult removed**

And yes, I'm not perfect Christian myself. I never said I was. I don't stick my big nose in others business and tell them "God's Best"...

[ November 15, 2005, 09:31 PM: Message edited by: blackbird ]

 

[menageriekeeper]

I gotta wonder just what verse in Proverbs 31 mentions public assistance?

"God's Best" seems to be providing for herself! Just as the ladies here who are trying to do.