Submissiveness to the unsaved husband

[annsni]

I can read Scripture, thank you. And research as well on Jewish traditions on engagements and marriages. Jesus seldom spoke on important subjects outside of the context of Jewish life. Were Joseph and Mary married, or were they bethrothed to each other ? Check it out.
Is the church and Christ married now ? Or is it a bethrothal stage. Go figure.

If you're divorced, I'm sorry that you are, and I am equally sorry for those who go through divorces. If you all think it's okay, then go and have it your way. Have fun.

I'm not divorced nor ever plan to. DH and I have been happily married for 23 years - and I've been married over 1/2 my life now.

As to whether Joseph and Mary were married...in the eyes of the culture, they were betrothed and since they would need to get a divorce to separate, in our culture, that would mean that yes, they were married.

If you study the Book closely, you will note that God did not divorce Judah, only the Northern part, and the two, Israel and Judah are one people, therefore one nation. And in that context, this was a temporary separation, if you will, not an absolute divorce.

I never said that it was speaking of divorce. I was saying that it was showing how God took back an adulterous nation as His own. Time and time again they strayed and time and time again, God took them back. I think that's showing that a straying spouse does not always = divorce. Grace, mercy and forgiveness CAN happen (not saying it always does or in all cases should).

 

[pinoybaptist]

I'm not divorced nor ever plan to. DH and I have been happily married for 23 years - and I've been married over 1/2 my life now.

I'm glad about that. My wife and I have been married 40 years, and plan to stay that way. Our marriage may not have been perfect, but no marriage is, whether the couple believes divorce is okay or not.

As to whether Joseph and Mary were married...in the eyes of the culture, they were betrothed and since they would need to get a divorce to separate, in our culture, that would mean that yes, they were married.

if that's what you say, then okay. I don't see any point in belaboring that issue.

I never said that it was speaking of divorce. I was saying that it was showing how God took back an adulterous nation as His own. Time and time again they strayed and time and time again, God took them back. I think that's showing that a straying spouse does not always = divorce. Grace, mercy and forgiveness CAN happen (not saying it always does or in all cases should).

And that is what God has been doing to His children and will keep doing until He decides to end time. That is why Jesus Christ, being the express image of God, is called Faithful and True.

God bless.

 

[gb93433]

Okay and heres what I was taught about marriage, actually to do the opposite of my parents marriage but then I guess thats wrong too so my next thought is that I will just stay away from marriage altogether because its too painful and a joke. When you are a Christian and he is not he is still the head of the household. You still need to listen to him, obey him what made things even worse is that my ex husband is/was a drill sgt in the army so basically we were treated like his troops. I never told my ex husband I wasnt going to do something when he asked whether I liked it or not I did it. Just like with the credit cards and the new car and everything I did it, was it wrong no at the time I actually didnt know he didnt pay the payments and I didnt know I was going to end up screwed. It all came out in the wash when the repo man knocked on my door and took the truck away first and then the car and then I didnt know till he had moved out that none of the credit cards had been paid off because I had been told they were. Ignorance is definitely not bliss and had I known things were like they were I definitely would not have allowed them to get as bad as they did. I pay my bills on time, and if I cant pay the whole bill at once then I make payments on the payment due. My parents have issues with being over their head on the credit thing and I vowed that wouldnt happen to me but well it has did I want it? Nope? But it was the hand that was dealt to me. I guess the silver lining in all of this is that now I have a chance to pay off the debt and have a new life and a new person to share my life with, I will never allow myself to be put back into that box again

Did you ever talk to his commanding officer? The U.S. Army does not like irresponsibility.

 

[gb93433]

This is not found in the Bible, ma'am.

Scripture addresses the issue more than once. Read your Bible in the gospels and in 1 Corinthians. Jesus and Paul addressed the issue covering two conditions.

 

[LadyEagle]

Just a couple of thoughts here, not much more than that...

* If a woman is in a relationship with an unsaved husband (or vice versa) and there is no abuse then she should certainly remain in that relationship, exercise the grace of God, and demonstrate Christ to her/his spouse.

* Brother Shane, you seem very angry. Why is that?

* Abuse, specifically physical abuse, should not be tolerated at all. Anyone who has been on the receiving end of prolong physical and emotional abuse would tell you it isn't worth it. We in the Church should be the first to offer a safe place for women in these situations to go. When I read stuff like this:

I realize how far we have to go in the Church to change attitudes and thoughts. Why would anyone want to encourage a woman to stay in an abusive relationship with a combative spouse? The reality in too many homes in America (often too many "Christian" homes) is both cheeks are bloodied and bruised from abuse. We have an obligation to help women in need.

Agreed. My turn the other cheek response was to this:

And it's a no-brainer that if my son is constantly bullied at school, I should get him to a karate school, and tell him to beat the daylights out of the bully. That should make the bully repent.

And it's a no-brainer if I get pushed around by a co-worker. Push back, until he says he's sorry.

 

[superwoman8977]

Did you ever talk to his commanding officer? The U.S. Army does not like irresponsibility.

Yes the commanding officers know and now 5 years after the fact he is being brought up on charges of adultery and abandonment of family, dereliction of duty, and AWOL

But I have something to say being the victim wife of a adulterer. I did not commit adultery. Why then do I have to be punished by being told I need to stay with my adulterous husband?? I stood by my husband and waited for God to intervene in the marriage and I have heard all the oh we reconciled stories and I used to think that could be us one day but the more I find out all the things he has done behind my back when I stood by him I dont want him anymore. When i sign those papers that will be the end there will be no turning back and I will keep that door to reconciliation closed. Because I know God has something better, a better person for my life.

 

[nodak]

It deeply troubles me that when a wife is beaten, gets enough, and leaves so many "Christian" men want to judge HER as the sinner. It leaves me wondering if they are or secretly desire to be beaters themselves.

When I was a child, in a situation like that in our little community, the Baptist Brotherhood would meet en masse at that man's house and invite him out for a little talk. I am gonna assume it was spiritual and non threatening, but the sight of 30-40 muscular oil field workers telling him the community would not allow this to continue must have sparked some fear, as I never knew a case where the Brotherhood had to meet with him in private behind a tank battery.

One case I know of a man was caught with a prostitute. It was not his first adultery. His wife, fearing disease and knowing this had gone on for years, divorced him. He publicly apologized for it at church, but did not show what any of us thought was real repentance. (The arresting cop was the one who ruined his marriage, the hooker tempted him, his wife was too cold, etc. Blamed everyone but himself.)

She publicly accepted the apology and stated she forgave him--but wanted no reconciliation. Then he pestered the church a good year to exercise discipline on HER for the divorce. Finally the church had to tell him his membership was revoked and he would not be welcome on the premises as he turned every ss class and prayer meeting into complaining about HER sin.

Again, the Brotherhood made church a safe place for her.

Scripture clearly ALLOWED for reconciliation, but did not command it.

And as far as turning the other cheek--in Jesus' time a cheek slap was a very very insulting but not physically harmful common act. It was not punching your lights out.

And Bro. Shane--I truly admire your zeal. Now we just need to add to it knowledge and temper it with wisdom and charity. When that is done God just might call you to minister at one of those little oil field Baptist churches in Texas or NM. Clearly you have the muscular passion needed.

 

[preachinjesus]

Agreed. My turn the other cheek response was to this:

My apologies, I must have inferred something in the dangling modified that wasn't there. Let us celebrate our agreement!

 

[pinoybaptist]

It deeply troubles me that when a wife is beaten, gets enough, and leaves so many "Christian" men want to judge HER as the sinner. It leaves me wondering if they are or secretly desire to be beaters themselves.

When I was a child, in a situation like that in our little community, the Baptist Brotherhood would meet en masse at that man's house and invite him out for a little talk. I am gonna assume it was spiritual and non threatening, but the sight of 30-40 muscular oil field workers telling him the community would not allow this to continue must have sparked some fear, as I never knew a case where the Brotherhood had to meet with him in private behind a tank battery.

One case I know of a man was caught with a prostitute. It was not his first adultery. His wife, fearing disease and knowing this had gone on for years, divorced him. He publicly apologized for it at church, but did not show what any of us thought was real repentance. (The arresting cop was the one who ruined his marriage, the hooker tempted him, his wife was too cold, etc. Blamed everyone but himself.)

She publicly accepted the apology and stated she forgave him--but wanted no reconciliation. Then he pestered the church a good year to exercise discipline on HER for the divorce. Finally the church had to tell him his membership was revoked and he would not be welcome on the premises as he turned every ss class and prayer meeting into complaining about HER sin.

Again, the Brotherhood made church a safe place for her.

Scripture clearly ALLOWED for reconciliation, but did not command it.

And as far as turning the other cheek--in Jesus' time a cheek slap was a very very insulting but not physically harmful common act. It was not punching your lights out.

And Bro. Shane--I truly admire your zeal. Now we just need to add to it knowledge and temper it with wisdom and charity. When that is done God just might call you to minister at one of those little oil field Baptist churches in Texas or NM. Clearly you have the muscular passion needed.

You had a good church, nodak. That no one can say you didn't have. But they are few and far in between nowadays in this age of compromise. But a better church would be one where the elders, and not the brotherhood, met with the erring members of both sides, and one where the pastor has the moral authority to stand up and preach on both the issue of divorce and of respecting the wife.
Unfortunately, pastors like that are getting few in number as well.
Most are also divorced.
Deacons, too.

 

[Brother Bob]

You had a good church, nodak. That no one can say you didn't have. But they are few and far in between nowadays in this age of compromise. But a better church would be one where the elders, and not the brotherhood, met with the erring members of both sides, and one where the pastor has the moral authority to stand up and preach on both the issue of divorce and of respecting the wife.
Unfortunately, pastors like that are getting few in number as well.
Most are also divorced.
Deacons, too.

Not in any of our hundreds of churches.

BBob,

 

[LadyEagle]

My apologies, I must have inferred something in the dangling modified that wasn't there. Let us celebrate our agreement!

:thumbs: :1_grouphug: