Submitting to his authority

[ivorytickler]

Menageriekeeper,

May I ask how it was keeping with being submissive to refuse to keep house? :laugh: I think we're on the same page here. Submission does not mean blindly doing as you are told or even what is expected of you. Fair play does come into the picture.

I pay my own tuition. He does watch the kids while I'm at school but he's their other parent. It's not like the kids are my job and not his so no he's not doing me a favor here. Now keeping them quiet while I finish my term paper tonight would be nice :laugh:

Financially, I know he's not hiding anything. We had to do a full disclosure during our divorce. He was CERTAIN I was hiding money from him :laugh: I wasn't.

Wish me luck. I'm out of work as of Friday. This could be quite the roller coaster ride. He just got dropped into the position of having to take over as breadwinner, at least, until I find something. Unfortunately, we're having quite the little recession here. This could take a while.

Why do I have this feeling in the pit of my stomache that God is about to teach me something?

 

[menageriekeeper]

:laugh: Hey now, I wasn't unsubmissive. He knew what he had promised me before we married AND he never told me to get up and clean house. He just wouldn't help. I'd say, will you vacuum while I do..... and he say later in that tone that meant he didn't think he should have to and it'd be a cold day......Then somewhere along the line he made some sly little comment about how I didn't make as much as him. I don't even remember what it was (it's been nearly 20 years now). and then he made some other remark about how the house wasn't very clean. When I replied something to the effect of, 'well you said you'd____' he said 'well I don't see why I should have to". So I showed him.

You should know that we both grew up with mothers who didn't keep a clean house, on top of that his parents were/are packrats (do I have stories!). So of course T thought nothing really should get thrown away, but yet the house should get clean. Twenty years later we have a system worked out, cause being a packrat is genetic, I tell you.

We have quite a nice recession going on here too. I'll pray you can hold on long enough for him to experience being responsible for his family. It will help him to grow. It's scary to not be bringing in a regular paycheck. I went through it when I quit working after our second was born. We had just begun recovering from our rough time and I wasn't real sure I trusted him that much. I certainly learned new ways of doing things! That little 4 room house saw us through the birth of our third and last and on to better things. T's been quite wonderful since that time. But it took plenty of time and patience to get this far and we still work at it.

 

[ivorytickler]

UGH. Here we go. I have to submit a petition to the university to waive most of the requirements for student teaching in light of my new found unemployed status and needing to finish this degree fast. My husband thinks my letter is too appologetic. He says I shouldn't be appologizing for asking for clearance at the last minute but rather presenting it as an oppotunity. This is NOT an opportunity for the university.

I'm in a situation where I need someone else to go out of their way because I'm not prepared to do what I need to do in January and he doesn't want me to appologize. Oh thisl will get me far.

 

[menageriekeeper]

And I'm thinking it's not going to matter anyway. The university is more likely to believe that since you are currently unemployed this is the perfect time to do some student teaching.

But, why are you being apologetic? Don't be as I'm afraid it will put you in the light of trying to elicit sympathy. I've found the best response to my letters when they were uncluttered of any emotion and simply presented the facts in clear and logical language. (I had to learn to write such letters while battling the public schools for services to my kids.)

If you like you can e-mail your letter (put the letter in the e-mail body please, my computer is doing weird things to my attachments) and I'll look it over for you and give you a third opinion. I'll pm you with my addy.

 

[Joe]

I agree with MK.

 

[ivorytickler]

And I'm thinking it's not going to matter anyway. The university is more likely to believe that since you are currently unemployed this is the perfect time to do some student teaching.

But, why are you being apologetic? Don't be as I'm afraid it will put you in the light of trying to elicit sympathy. I've found the best response to my letters when they were uncluttered of any emotion and simply presented the facts in clear and logical language. (I had to learn to write such letters while battling the public schools for services to my kids.)

If you like you can e-mail your letter (put the letter in the e-mail body please, my computer is doing weird things to my attachments) and I'll look it over for you and give you a third opinion. I'll pm you with my addy.

The petition is appologetic because I'm asking the University to scramble on my behalf. My emergency becomes someone elses emergency. It's not as simple as them just saying yes and me doing the work. They have to say yes and then do in just a few weeks what they normally do in six months.

The admonisment "Lack of planning on your part does not create an emergency on mine" comes to mind. So, yeah, I'm somewhat appologetic in my letter. He wants me to come across as if they owe this to me. I think what he's put together sounds arrogant and demanding. Almost threatening.

I think I'll have my advisor read both petitions and pick one.

 

[Joe]

My wife is a teacher so if you ever want to ask her anything, let me know. I am sure she would be happy to help.

 

[ivorytickler]

Well, I"m unemployed. It was really weird walking out for the last time after almost 18 years working for the same company.

Hopefully, I'm on to better things. I dropped off my petition to the univerisity on Thursday. I'm hoping to hear something back from them by the first week of December.

Thanks Joe. I may take you up on that.