The Biblical Doctrine of Divorce

[exscentric]

""Matthew 19:[9] And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.""

In which case Christ coming to fulfill the law would have understood what he said as the offender would be dead according to the law thus there is no divorce - this has been pointed out in the thread before. This is not an exception.

It isn't so much the one time sin of divorce but the ongoing sin of adultery that follows if one remarrys. That is why a legal separation leaves the offended party clear of sin.

Someone pointed out if we carried this out in the usa that there would be a lot of dead people - yep and I'd bet the divorce rate would drop drastically :thumbs: Maybe that is the reason God set it up that way.

 

[ReformedBaptist]

I am glad my thread recieved such attention, but I am continually amazed that some cannot plainly recognize the exception Jesus made for divorce. Divorce is not permissable for just any reason. But it is permissable for fornication. porneia, as brother Bob pointed out.

Being practical now, a woman may divorce her husband for his continual use of pornography. It is fornication. Those who are denying this are tying a yoke around their necks and by your pretended doctrines of God are seeking to force a woman (or a man) to abide under one of the most difficult of sins for someone to bear - unfaithfulness. This is why you saw me get a little passionate on this thread.

The lack of compassion and mercy and love and understanding by some of you so-called "teachers" of the law is frankly, disgusting.

Now I have known and counseled with a couple who battled these things. Her husband struggled all of his Christian life against lust. His lust led him away to temptation on many occasions, and sometimes he concieved sin. He broke the marriage covenant he made with his wife. This man was not haughty, but broken, repentant, and understood that his wife had every right for a divorce. Her decision (and it was HER decision) was to forgive her husband and seek the Lord with her husband to re-build their marriage. What they had before was dead. But there is hope for them if both are willing, the one to forgive from the heart, and the other to repent completely, to start anew.

I am glad to report that this couple is approaching 12 years of marriage and both are happy and walking with the Lord Jesus.

The words and counsel from some in this thread has been so devoid of compassion its appaling. It's as if you are walking by a woman who has been beaten to the point of death and telling her to just get up and go back to him. Do you not know a woman who has been wounded by the unfaithfulness of the husband she loves would most likely prefer to be physically beaten than know the pain of her husband being unfaithful?

Yet you counsel her to be an adulterous if she divorces and marries another, pressuring her to remain with him when every sight of him causes her to relive the pain!

I watched the pain and sin of divorce tear my father's heart out when my mom left him. I was there when his only bed was the couch in my small apartment because she threw him out of his home. I was there to see him weep and suffer as his heart was being torn apart. He didn't weep that much, or show that much pain even when his own parents passed away.

I was there to see him try everything in his power to reconcile the marriage but yet she persisted in putting him away and would not suffer him even 5 minutes of counseling. No sooner was the divorce settled than she had another man in her home and bed. And you would say this man commits adultery if he remarries? When the Son of God has given him leave and exception?

Shame on you who have pontificated your opinions in the name of truth but have forsaken mercy, compassion, and grace.

 

[Zenas]

It isn't so much the one time sin of divorce but the ongoing sin of adultery that follows if one remarrys. That is why a legal separation leaves the offended party clear of sin.

Amen, excentric. This is the part that people just don't seem to comprehend.

 

[Joe]

Divorce is sin. Jesus taught it in Mark 10; Paul taught it in Romans 7, and it is also taught elsewhere in many other passages. Divorce is sin. Divorce is the breaking of a vow made before man and God. Divorce and remarriage is adultery.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2 Now concerning the things about which you wrote to me: it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But, because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. (WEB)

The Bible says nothing here abot STD's Aids or anything of the like. To use this Scripture to justify divorce for that reason is irrational and not rightly dividing the word of truth.

That's all good but it doesn't address my question. It IS addressed in the bible.

The Bible states we are to take care of our earthly bodies, they are called temples of the holy spirit. As gluttony is frowned upon, deliberate *relations* with your spouse, full well knowing he has been running around for years, well you can imagine how much worse that is. Gluttony usually doesn't kill us, deliberately exposing ourselves to highly infectious STD's will. It could result in suicide, which is sin.
He may "carry" the disease yet transmit it to her where she shows symptoms because she has a lower immune system. Each circumstance must be weighed, including the risk of remaining married after something like that.

In your mind, 1 Cor 5:7 could address men such as Jimmy Swaggert, Jim Bakker, or any other man pretending to be a Christian yet living a lifestyle which can kill him and his wife if he exposes her body to these health risks. This verse only allows a small time frame to cease from relations, and BOTH must agree. A man who demands this of his wife will not agree.

Divorce is certainly allowed if a man decides to rip their flesh out of their body (their wife) and replace this with some diseased (or clean) stranger's flesh.
This person is a stranger to our Lord, they were not ordained to become one flesh. There can't be three fleshes, or swapping of flesh on a regular basis without diseases entering into the equasion. Divorce is permitted under these conditions.


The Bible also has examples of people becoming ill due to their own sin. THis would be one example, knowingly placing your temple in harms way to follow 1 Cor 5:7 The consequence of sexual immorality are life threatening diseases. People who continue in this lifestyle may need to remain in this "pretend" marriage, but they are not bound to it.

 

[annsni]

Joe - I'm honestly not understanding your interpretation of those verses. Where is it saying that we're to stray and then take back our spouse?

 

[Cutter]

Joe, the scriptures you are using are not referring to a period of abstinence because of sexual impropriety by one partner or the other, but for the need to fast and pray, and seek the face of God.

 

[annsni]

Joe, the scriptures you are using are not referring to a period of abstinence because of sexual impropriety by one partner or the other, but for the need to fast and pray, and seek the face of God.

That's exactly my understanding also. I don't see where adultery or promiscuousness is addressed other than NOT denying your spouse to protect them from the temptation to stray.

 

[Bob Dudley]

Originally Posted By DHK
Divorce is sin.

Sorry to jump into the middle of a discussion.

You all have let DHK set the tone of the debate. The Bible NEVER says that divorce is a sin. The Bible does say (in both Testaments) that seperation is a sin but never divorce. According to Moses, Jesus and Paul, seperation is the sin and divorce is the legal mechanism that God set up so that we don't live in sin all of our lives.

It was a law (yes, a command of God) to divorce your spouse if you were seperated (Deut 24:1-4).

The BIG passage used to say that God hates divorce actually says He hates putting away (seperating) not divorce (Malachi 2:16)

Jesus said that if you married someone that was just seperated that is adultery. He did NOT say that if you married someone that is divorced you are comiting adultery (Matt 5:31-32). NOte that the KJV translaters got it wrong, they translated the verb put away into the noun divorce. Other places tey translated it correctly (Matt 19:9,; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18).

Note when Jesus dealt with the Pharisees about their question on divorce and seperation He ignored divorce and focused on the real problem: seperating from your spouse (Matt 19:1-12; Mark 10:1-12)

Paul's big passage on marriage in 1 Cor 7:10-16 again is about seperation (note his use of words like depart and put away). He never talks about divorce.

So, divorce is NOT a sin. If there is a sin it is seperating from your spouse. God set up divorce so we can get beyond that sin and get on with our lives.

 

[Revmitchell]

Sorry to jump into the middle of a discussion.

You all have let DHK set the tone of the debate. The Bible NEVER says that divorce is a sin. The Bible does say (in both Testaments) that seperation is a sin but never divorce. According to Moses, Jesus and Paul, seperation is the sin and divorce is the legal mechanism that God set up so that we don't live in sin all of our lives.

It was a law (yes, a command of God) to divorce your spouse if you were seperated (Deut 24:1-4).

The BIG passage used to say that God hates divorce actually says He hates putting away (seperating) not divorce (Malachi 2:16)

Jesus said that if you married someone that was just seperated that is adultery. He did NOT say that if you married someone that is divorced you are comiting adultery (Matt 5:31-32). NOte that the KJV translaters got it wrong, they translated the verb put away into the noun divorce. Other places tey translated it correctly (Matt 19:9,; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18).

Note when Jesus dealt with the Pharisees about their question on divorce and seperation He ignored divorce and focused on the real problem: seperating from your spouse (Matt 19:1-12; Mark 10:1-12)

Paul's big passage on marriage in 1 Cor 7:10-16 again is about seperation (note his use of words like depart and put away). He never talks about divorce.

So, divorce is NOT a sin. If there is a sin it is seperating from your spouse. God set up divorce so we can get beyond that sin and get on with our lives.

I agree.:thumbs:

 

[Brother Bob]

I agree.:thumbs:

He also said, "from the beginning it was not so"..........

BBob,

 

[ReformedBaptist]

Sorry to jump into the middle of a discussion.

You all have let DHK set the tone of the debate. The Bible NEVER says that divorce is a sin. The Bible does say (in both Testaments) that seperation is a sin but never divorce. According to Moses, Jesus and Paul, seperation is the sin and divorce is the legal mechanism that God set up so that we don't live in sin all of our lives.

It was a law (yes, a command of God) to divorce your spouse if you were seperated (Deut 24:1-4).

The BIG passage used to say that God hates divorce actually says He hates putting away (seperating) not divorce (Malachi 2:16)

Jesus said that if you married someone that was just seperated that is adultery. He did NOT say that if you married someone that is divorced you are comiting adultery (Matt 5:31-32). NOte that the KJV translaters got it wrong, they translated the verb put away into the noun divorce. Other places tey translated it correctly (Matt 19:9,; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18).

Note when Jesus dealt with the Pharisees about their question on divorce and seperation He ignored divorce and focused on the real problem: seperating from your spouse (Matt 19:1-12; Mark 10:1-12)

Paul's big passage on marriage in 1 Cor 7:10-16 again is about seperation (note his use of words like depart and put away). He never talks about divorce.

So, divorce is NOT a sin. If there is a sin it is seperating from your spouse. God set up divorce so we can get beyond that sin and get on with our lives.

Thanks for sharing that. Now THAT was enlightening. I am going to check out the things your saying, but that is rightly dividing the Word of Truth.

Thanks brother.

 

[DHK]

Sorry to jump into the middle of a discussion.

You all have let DHK set the tone of the debate. The Bible NEVER says that divorce is a sin. The Bible does say (in both Testaments) that seperation is a sin but never divorce. According to Moses, Jesus and Paul, seperation is the sin and divorce is the legal mechanism that God set up so that we don't live in sin all of our lives.

God doesn't spell everything out for us, and doesn't need to.
The Bible says, for example: "Pray without ceasing."
But it doesn't say: "If you don't pray without ceasing, it is sin." Obviously the transgression of any command in the Bible is sin whether or not the clause "it is sin" is added on or not. To reason that way is just foolishness. Transgressing the commands of God is sin. Isn't that just simple logic?

What did Christ say concerning divorce?
"From the beginning it was not so."
"They twain shall be one flesh."
Mark 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
Mark 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

And Paul?
Romans 7:3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

Accordingly, not paying attention to the instruction given in these verese is sin. Divorce is sin. Let no one say that it isn't. The Bible clearly teaches that divorce is sin; that remarriage is sin.

It was a law (yes, a command of God) to divorce your spouse if you were seperated (Deut 24:1-4).

The BIG passage used to say that God hates divorce actually says He hates putting away (seperating) not divorce (Malachi 2:16)

These are OT Scriptures, which Jesus clearly said about Israel:

Mark 10:5-6 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
Mark 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

God gave Israel permission for Divorce "for the hardness of their hearts," but from the begiinning of creation it was not so. It was not his will.

Jesus said that if you married someone that was just seperated that is adultery. He did NOT say that if you married someone that is divorced you are comiting adultery (Matt 5:31-32). NOte that the KJV translaters got it wrong, they translated the verb put away into the noun divorce. Other places tey translated it correctly (Matt 19:9,; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18).

Read the entire passage. The Pharisees were asking about divorce and Jesus was responding about divorce. You are splitting hairs.

Consider the question:
Mark 10:4-5 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them,
5 For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
--Jesus is answering their question about divorce. He is not going down another bunny trail as you think he is. He is speaking of divorce. That is the subject and the context. Just because he uses synonyms doesn't mean he varies from the subject. That just is absurd.

Note when Jesus dealt with the Pharisees about their question on divorce and seperation He ignored divorce and focused on the real problem: seperating from your spouse (Matt 19:1-12; Mark 10:1-12)

The entire context, as metioned above is divorce. There is no separation in this context apart from divorce. You are splitting hairs. Jesus is speaking of divorce in answer to the Pharisees questioins. Why would he answer their quetion of divorce with another rabbit trail. You are not making sense.

Paul's big passage on marriage in 1 Cor 7:10-16 again is about seperation (note his use of words like depart and put away). He never talks about divorce.

1 Corinthians 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
--Yes, it is about the unbelieving husband departing from the believing wife. There is no grounds for divorce, only separation.

So, divorce is NOT a sin. If there is a sin it is seperating from your spouse. God set up divorce so we can get beyond that sin and get on with our lives.

God never set up divorce. He allowed it in the OT; never was sanctioned in the New Testament. It was never His will. From the beginning it was not so. To commit divorce is just as much a sin as to commit adultery. In fact Jesus likens it to the same thing.

Your analogy goes like this:
The Bible doesn't say it is a sin not to pray, therefore it is not a sin not to pray.
The Bible doesn't say it is not a sin to get a divorce, therefore it is not a sin to get a divorce.

Sorry, it doesn't work that way.

 

[lbaker]

To build on what Bob Dudley posted earlier...

There is a big, biblical difference between "divorce" and "putting away" (or separation). What Jesus is saying is that "putting away" without going through a legal divorce is wrong. That was to keep men from just throwing their wives out on the street, for any reason. It is the woman who is "put away" and not properly divorced who can't remarry. The whole idea was to give the woman a document that said she was no longer legally married to her former husband and was then free to remarry.

Jesus is condemning "putting away", not legal divorce.

 

[Cutter]

To build on what Bob Dudley posted earlier...

There is a big, biblical difference between "divorce" and "putting away" (or separation). What Jesus is saying is that "putting away" without going through a legal divorce is wrong. That was to keep men from just throwing their wives out on the street, for any reason. It is the woman who is "put away" and not properly divorced who can't remarry. The whole idea was to give the woman a document that said she was no longer legally married to her former husband and was then free to remarry.

Jesus is condemning "putting away", not legal divorce.

It's good to see everybody in Loozana is not drinking the Kool Aid!

 

[Brother Bob]

It's good to see everybody in Loozana is not drinking the Kool Aid!

I have never heard the words used that you can put away and be unlawful with God, but divorce and make it lawful and set the woman free to marry again and again and again. Oh boy, Oh boy, does that solve all my problems about divorce.

We need to get real fellows.

Matt 5;
32: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.


shall put away
630
apoluw
apoluo
ap-ol-oo'-o
from apo - apo 575 and luw - luo 3089; to free fully, i.e. (literally) relieve, release, dismiss (reflexively, depart), or (figuratively) let die, pardon or (specially) divorce:--(let) depart, dismiss, divorce, forgive, let go, loose, put (send) away, release, set at liberty.

Oh boy, Oh boy, would this solve the problem of divorce. You need to look us the Greek definition of "putting away", before going too far with this one.

BBob,

 

[DHK]

To build on what Bob Dudley posted earlier...

There is a big, biblical difference between "divorce" and "putting away" (or separation). What Jesus is saying is that "putting away" without going through a legal divorce is wrong. That was to keep men from just throwing their wives out on the street, for any reason. It is the woman who is "put away" and not properly divorced who can't remarry. The whole idea was to give the woman a document that said she was no longer legally married to her former husband and was then free to remarry.

Jesus is condemning "putting away", not legal divorce.

In other words Jesus ignored the question of the Pharisees, threw the conversation (context out the window) and jumped on some rabbit trail that had nothing to do with the question of the Pharisees at all. That may sound like a modern day J.W., but it doesn't sound like my Lord. You have strange ideas.

 

[Salamander]

The reality is that once married and then divorced, no one ever actually gets over the relationship and is hindered to some degree.

Funny thing God knows that, but many Christians reject the truth.

How close is the relationship between husband and wife? They become one flesh in marriage. To separate them by a divorce is to remove some portion of their body.

Even removing a "big toe" causes one to stumble easily.

If I were to even have a finger amputated it would hinder my use of that hand, but "one flesh" doesn't individualize each person, it makes them ONE. Every part is a part of the other by marriage.

If I were to slice my index finger in half, not only would I always experience pain, but it would be reduced in ability to function normally, AND the "phantom" feeling would still be there although not all the time.

The same goes for a marriage that has amputated the other half of the body by divorce. No matter how you slice it, once a living part of the body has been removed, there will ALWAYS be feelings present of the missing person.

Watch the words of Christ very closely before concluding Jesus allowed divorce. Watch the words of Moses very closely before you conclude God allows divorce.

Question: Does God permit hardheartedness to have precedence over His living institution of holy matrimony? Well, does He?

Repeat: God knows this, but many Christians reject this truth.:godisgood:

 

[Brother Bob]

The reality is that once married and then divorced, no one ever actually gets over the relationship and is hindered to some degree.

Funny thing God knows that, but many Christians reject the truth.

How close is the relationship between husband and wife? They become one flesh in marriage. To separate them by a divorce is to remove some portion of their body.

Even removing a "big toe" causes one to stumble easily.

If I were to even have a finger amputated it would hinder my use of that hand, but "one flesh" doesn't individualize each person, it makes them ONE. Every part is a part of the other by marriage.

If I were to slice my index finger in half, not only would I always experience pain, but it would be reduced in ability to function normally, AND the "phantom" feeling would still be there although not all the time.

The same goes for a marriage that has amputated the other half of the body by divorce. No matter how you slice it, once a living part of the body has been removed, there will ALWAYS be feelings present of the missing person.

Watch the words of Christ very closely before concluding Jesus allowed divorce. Watch the words of Moses very closely before you conclude God allows divorce.

Question: Does God permit hardheartedness to have precedence over His living institution of holy matrimony? Well, does He?

Repeat: God knows this, but many Christians reject this truth.:godisgood:

No one is advocating divorce. Our discussion is whether Jesus made an exception for the cause of fornication. Maybe you could give us your thoughts on the scripture in Matt:

Matt 5;
32: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

We as a church and Association are very strict on double marriage, but I still want to give whatever liberty that Jesus gave. It is the hardest thing I have had to deal with for all these years and will continue until I die. It is not just members joining that are double married, but its your own family, it leaves no one untouched these days. Its the first question I want to ask, when I get to Heaven, if allowed............

BBob,

 

[Joe]

1Corth: 7



1: Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2: Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3: Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4: The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5: Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Surely you do not believe this is saying that with consent, the wife or husband can fool around for a while.

No, I am saying the opposite. I wonder how the people who feel wives should honor this verse under all circumstances because divorce is not an option, reconcile this verse. It could be quite sickening to honor it. While ALL wives are legally married, they fall under this verse. Even wives whom husbands continue to stray but follow this verse in hopes of growing closer to god.

It is saying with consent to refrain from sex to prayer and fasting and then come together again that Satan not tempt you for your incontinency.

Exactly! Now think about the implications this has on a married couple where the husband is straying and never stops straying. He is a Pastor maybe, wants to pray and fast to seek God after getting caught. Means well for a few weeks, keeps this command with his wife and stops the affair. The command orders the wife to start back having sexual relations with her adulterer husband after this prayer and fasting time period. Yet he may resume being an adulterer, backsliding, WHILE she is NOW ordered to have relations with him. Or she may feel that way, it is how it reads. There's a problem here for the divorce only crowd.

It seems they don't see the wife has the option to leave and divorce this dirtbag instead of following thru with the verse to expose herself to diseases by being with him. They can try to separate again, but that wouldn't be following the biblical guideline.

Just pointing out the very long way why divorce is allowed under certain conditions. That was one of those conditions.

If you were having sex somewhere else, you would not be tempted. You would have went much farther than temptation.

Not always. Men sometimes have relations with both their wife and their mistress. Some people live in a constant state of temptation.

but that doesn't have anything to do with my point really.
Whether you all understand it or not. Oh well....

 

[Brother Bob]

No, I am saying the opposite. I wonder how the people who feel wives should honor this verse under all circumstances because divorce is not an option, reconcile this verse. It could be quite sickening to honor it. While ALL wives are legally married, they fall under this verse. Even wives whom husbands continue to stray but follow this verse in hopes of growing closer to god.



Exactly! Now think about the implications this has on a married couple where the husband is straying and never stops straying. He is a Pastor maybe, wants to pray and fast to seek God after getting caught. Means well for a few weeks, keeps this command with his wife and stops the affair. The command orders the wife to start back having sexual relations with her adulterer husband after this prayer and fasting time period. Yet he may resume being an adulterer, backsliding, WHILE she is NOW ordered to have relations with him. Or she may feel that way, it is how it reads. There's a problem here for the divorce only crowd.

It seems they don't see the wife has the option to leave and divorce this dirtbag instead of following thru with the verse to expose herself to diseases by being with him. They can try to separate again, but that wouldn't be following the biblical guideline.

Just pointing out the very long way why divorce is allowed under certain conditions. That was one of those conditions.


Not always. Men sometimes have relations with both their wife and their mistress. Some people live in a constant state of temptation.

but that doesn't have anything to do with my point really.
Whether you all understand it or not. Oh well....

If she knows about his "fooling" around, she has a right to dump him.

Also, if he is a Pastor and in our church, we will handle it, and not like most. We would send him packing.

BBob,