There is but one condition that must be met to receive the promise of God's free gift of grace and the necessity of truth in this matter should not be taken lightly.
Agreed, however, I feel I need to clarify my position, which is neither Arminian nor Calvinistic: the singular condition of man that is without controversy is that man is born separated from God, and there is nothing within that fallen nature that can understand or receive that which is spiritual, the GOspel heading the list of spiritual truth.
The singular aspect of salvation that is not, in my view, fully recognized by both sides is that we are saved by grace through faith, rather than the position the debate between these two groups generates, that we are saved by faith through grace.
And this is not a condition "met by man," it is, as you say...the Gift of God.
And the singular event that brings man to a point where he can exercise choice is the enlightening ministry of the Holy Ghost. In the Old Testament we see Him minister to men those truths revealed in that/those days. In the New Testament we see the Comforter ministering the very Gospel of Christ, which was not revealed to men in prior Ages. Some distinctions between those two ministries would be the Eternal Indwelling as opposed to the external ministry (empowerment of the Saint), the Indwelling of the Godhead, Eternal Remission (as opposed to that achieved by the previous provision, vicarious animal death), the revelation of the Mystery of the Gospel (as opposed to general faith in God), and the believer placed into God in Eternal Union through the establishment of the New Covenant (which contained the Promise of the Spirit).
Some attempt to uphold a doctrine which strives to declare inability and predestination rather than acknowledge the true volitional nature of God's creatures, which by Divine design and in truth of His influence in all the world, gives the genuine ability to all for a response to Him of faith to come from one's own heart.
All ability of man is directly related to the revelation provided them, and that which results from that revelation has to be carefully determined.
I do not endorse Prevenient Grace, though we do see that Grace without controversy precedes man's entrance to relationship to God through enlightenment. Nor do I endorse the doctrine that teaches God regenerates men in order for them to have faith, for if that were the case, then we must equally conclude that salvation can be lost. For example, 2 Peter 20-22 speaks of false teachers who, if we compare the parallel passage of Jude, are men destined for eternal separation...who had been shown the way of truth and rejected it. These men turned away of their own will, which is not surprising seeing they were fallen men with an inclination for rebellion against God. Hebrews 10:26-29 is a solemn warning to Jews, who had been introduced to the truth, yet are compared with those who rejected the Covennat of Law, and will face a more severe punishment because they "trod under foot the Son of God, counted the Blood by which He was sanctified and unholy thing (and based on the general theme of Hebrews this was exalting Levitical Service over the Priesthood and Offering of Christ), and...
...done despite to the Spirit of Grace.
That Spirit of Grace is the Promised Spirit that had enlightened these Hebrews, who choose to reject the New Covenant even as those who rejected the First Covenant (Covenant of Law, called Moses' Law).
So while I reject Calvin teaching concerning regeneration, I do acknowledge that men are saved according to God's choosing, and this is something that is a settled matter in Eternity Past. He does not choose based on merit of the believer, nor do I see it simply as a matter of foreknowledge, but it is based on one simple principle: God is Sovereign in salvation.
There is no need to sacrifice "by God's grace alone" to uphold the responsibility of man (you) through free will:
While we cannot divorce man's role in salvation entirely, we still have to deal with the natural man's inability. We will not find an singular Saint in Scripture that did not first benefit from the intervention of God. Just wanted to clarify that I fully affirm man's inability in regards to the spiritual things of God, and do not endorse a view that allows man in his fallen state to understand spiritual truth apart from the Ministry of the Holy Ghost.
Ben, I don't know if you are a Baptist or not, but I do have a thread concerning Infant Death in other denominations if you are not, and would love to have you give your thoughts there. This topic helps, I think, for us to center our attention on salvation in regards to regeneration, which I hold to the position that men were not regenerated in the Old Testament, but that regeneration is a result of man being reconciled to God through Christ. I distinguish the ministries performed by God in men's lives under Old Testament Economies, and view Eternal Redemption as first being bestowed in completion at the time of the Cross, at which time the Old Testament Saints were made "perfect," or, complete in regards to their salvation.
So always glad to get some new people into this discussion, so hope to see you there.
God bless.