Hi John of Japan
Boy it was nice to hear from you, because of the how you got me to thinking.
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First of all, “Yes”; We are on the same page; My argument does boil down to “the priesthood of the believer”.
And as you put it........
“As Paul wrote, "Preach the word..........”
In my response, I talk about pastors preaching the Word, repeatedly.
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Now in your first paragraph, you say......
“I will never tell a believer what God's will is for him or her: who to marry, what job to do, where to live, etc. That as you say is the task of the Holy Spirit.”
But in your second paragraph, you say.....
“You say that a pastor should not tell people "how to live their life." I entirely disagree with that. It is a pastor's sacred duty to tell people how to live their life before God.”
Now although this looks like a contradiction, I know it isn’t, because I know where you are coming from.
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Lets take a closer look at these 3 great examples, that you gave:
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(1) “who to marry” (Of course the Bible tells us who to marry.....
2 Corinthians 6:14
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”
......and a pastor would surly be shirking his duty, if he didn’t speak out(one on one), about how foolish it would be, for a Christian to marry a lost person!.
(Because this is clearly stated in Scripture

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(2) “what job to do” (Now the Bible, does have something to say about this.....
Habakkuk 2:15
“Woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drink, that puttest thy bottle to [him], and makest [him] drunken also, that thou mayest look on their nakedness!”
.......and a pastor, “may be” shirking his duty, if he didn’t speak out(one on one), about how foolish it would be, for a Christian to take a job as a bartender, etc.
(This is somewhat less clearly stated in Scripture

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(3) “where to live” (Now we come to an area, were the Church member must seek God’s leading)
Because although the Bible, does not specifically say(that I can find), anything about where a Christian should live, this is an important decision.
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Now we can clearly see, the difference between these three examples, and what makes them different. (It is clearly based upon “what the Bible says”!)
If God’s Word gives us clear instruction in an area, it is our duty as pastors and Christians, to warn our fellow Christians about the foolishness of going against the Bible.
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But if the Bible’s instructions are “less clear”, about a particular subject, than we need to back off, unless the Holy Spirit gives us something to say(backed up by Scripture).
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Now in your fifth paragraph, you asked.......
“Now, this one more thing may be what you are saying, I'm not sure. The preachers having said what the standards should be, had no authority to enforce them outside of the church...”
This was exactly what I was saying. And thank you for stating it, in a different way, so that their won’t be any misunderstanding.
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I would love to talk more, about “my take”, on what was said in Acts 15: but I have already taken up too much space.
Maybe on another response or another thread.
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You ended by saying.......
“I've written at some length, believing that you truly want to learn. I hope this is a help and a blessing.”
Yes it was, thank you very much.