I praise God for your healing. To Him be all the glory.
And hopefully you will be healed someday.
As I try to understand your explanation, 'something' drew you to Jesus. 'Something' was wrong in your life. The Bible says it was the Father who drew you by various means.....including giving you the awareness of your sin. The Bible then says it was the infallible saving grace of God by which you came to faith in Christ.
Of course the Father drew me to Jesus, scripture says no man can come to Jesus unless the Father draws him (Jhn 6:44). And Jhn 6:45 shows how this is done, by teaching a man. Those who listen to the Father and learn from him will come to Jesus. I heard the gospel preached and I paid heed to it, I believed it to be the truth, and so I came to Jesus for forgiveness of my sins. Of course God gets the credit, if he had not revealed my lost condition and the gospel to me I could not have believed and would be without any hope of being saved.
Do you not see that your conversion was entirely the gift of God because He loved you and sent His Son to redeem you?
Of course.
Do you not see why Jesus purposefully compared the birth from above to that of our first birth of the flesh?
Yes.
In neither were you consulted nor did you make a decision where to be born, when to be born, of whom you are to be born, the circumstances of your birth, etc., etc.
Ah yes, but it takes two parents to produce a child. Likewise when a person trusts Jesus, their spirit is washed and joined to the Holy Spirit. They become one spirit which is the new birth, a new creation.
You were physically born when your two parents came together. You are made from both parents, but you are not your parents, you are an individual, you are your own person.
Likewise, when a person trusts Christ, they are joined to him. They become one spirit, which is a new person, a new creation.
1 Cor 6:17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.
This is what you Calvinists do not understand, being saved is compared to being married to Jesus. It is a coming together. In this world we come together with our wife and become one flesh, that is, our children. It also takes two to be joined to Jesus, we are married to him, we are joined to him and become one spirit. We are now partakers of the divine nature. We are not God, and never will be, but we share in his nature.
Rom 6:4 Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.
2 Pet 1:4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
This is why we cannot lose our salvation, we cannot fall away in unbelief, because we now share in the divine nature, we have the indwelling Holy Spirit or seed in us that cannot sin. The Holy Spirit cannot fall away in unbelief.
1 Jhn 3:9 Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.
This is where both Calvinists and Arminians err. If you are truly born of God, then you share in the divine nature, you have the Holy Spirit, the seed dwelling in you, and you cannot possibly fall away in unbelief. You do not have to persevere, you are preserved. Neither Calvinists like you, nor Arminians understand this. You both think you have to persevere (work) to stay saved. Total error.
We are now married to Jesus who was raised from the dead. We are joined to him and become one spirit, which is a new creation, a new person.
But it didn't happen by accident, just as your physical birth didn't happen by accident. Your mother and father willingly and knowingly came together to create you. Likewise, we knowingly and willingly choose to be married and joined to Jesus and become a new creation.
So, as usual, Calvinism says the exact opposite of what scripture really says.
Both births were of the sovereign good pleasure of God who willed you into existence, first in the flesh and second in the Spirit.
God foreknew your parents would come together and produce you. Likewise, God foreknew who would believe in time and be joined to Jesus and become a new creation.
It takes TWO to produce a birth.
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