Unacceptable behavior in church.

[Brad the Baptist]

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I believe a certain amount of decency (respect) needs to be shown when in the house of the Lord.

I go to a small Baptist church, with less than 50 members. Constantly, people show up late. I can see once in a while, but many people show up 15 to 20 minutes late into the service- and it's usually the same people. Then, it never fails. Some people get up constantly to get a drink, go to the bathroom, whisper back and forth, grab a refill on coffee or another donut, and one guy even has a bad habit of belching.

The pastor, who has spoke up about these issues, seems to be ignored. I have spoken to some of these people myself, and I get a bunch of excuses, yet it keeps happening.

I'm not very eloquent with my words. I don't know what to say to these people, even after they've been told. This type of behavior gets my blood pressure up, and sometimes I have to pray to get my focus back on the sermon. Is it me? Or has anyone else had experience with this?

~ Brother Brad

 

[Salty]

First of all - NO beverage or food in the Sanctuary -

Second - the Ushers should sit any late comers.

Third - are some of the "guilty" also church leaders
A- if they are - that's another problem
B- if they are not - then church leaders should be backing up the pastor.

 

[TCassidy]

I had a pastor friend who took a church with similar problems. One Sunday he announced that starting next week there would be no coffee, no donuts, and the doors would be locked at exactly 11AM (starting time).

The worst offenders apparently didn't believe him. When they arrived they discovered they were locked out.

About half of them got mad and left the church. When I asked him about it he said, "Even the body of Christ needs a bowel movement now and then!"

Since then the church has tripled in Sunday morning attendance.

 

[annsni]

Oh my gosh TCassidy!! That is hysterical!!

I do think that ushers can help in this situation. Latecomers can only enter the sanctuary at certain times. You want to go to the bathroom? You need to wait for the appropriate time to re-enter the sanctuary.

I do think it is really rude to do most of these things. A bathroom run for some people is necessary medically and I get that but the vast majority of people can sit the hour and 15 minutes or however long the service is. Heck, *I* have to do it because I run the computer and there have been times I could have used a potty run but I didn't go because I need to stay so I did. But it is really ought to start the service with 8 people in the room and most of them be the people on the worship team. It gets frustrating to us as the pastor/staff because we make sure that everything is ready on time and yet others don't have that same courtesy.

 

[Brad the Baptist]

I was thinking that I'm the only one with a problem. The pastor has spoken about this before, being an usher- it's my duty (for lack of a better word) to back him up. I understand people need to go to the bathroom. I also understand people might need to get a drink of water. BUT... it's the same few people time and time again. The guy who burps during church service and Bible study consistently gets up to get a drink and go to the bathroom. I'm not a delicate person. I'm what most people call an "in your face" kinda of guy. I'm more inclined to remove the burper from church before removing his beverage.

The people who arrive to church late are the same ones over and over again. They have jobs. I'm wondering what would happen if they consistently showed up to work 20 minutes late?

Thanks for the input. I will talk to my pastor and ask him what the best way is for me to back him up. Like i said, I'm not very eloquent and could use a few pointers on what to say and how to say it.

~Bro. Brad

 

[tyndale1946]

I was thinking that I'm the only one with a problem. The pastor has spoken about this before, being an usher- it's my duty (for lack of a better word) to back him up. I understand people need to go to the bathroom. I also understand people might need to get a drink of water. BUT... it's the same few people time and time again. The guy who burps during church service and Bible study consistently gets up to get a drink and go to the bathroom. I'm not a delicate person. I'm what most people call an "in your face" kinda of guy. I'm more inclined to remove the burper from church before removing his beverage.

The people who arrive to church late are the same ones over and over again. They have jobs. I'm wondering what would happen if they consistently showed up to work 20 minutes late?

Thanks for the input. I will talk to my pastor and ask him what the best way is for me to back him up. Like i said, I'm not very eloquent and could use a few pointers on what to say and how to say it.

~Bro. Brad

Well I was raised in a very small family church and the only time that I can recall that someone was late for church or early... Was daylight saving time... I remember getting to church early and wondering where everybody was... Then again getting there late and apologizing to our pastor... He would look at me and say... Forgot to set your clock, didn't you?... I would smile embarrassed and sit down. There were not that many problems as far as other things were concerned... We were a church family and looked over the faults of others... We even had some come from work and show up in their work clothes... I heard tell among our people way back when that some would come from the fields in their overalls, attend service and then go back to work... How times have changed... Just honor the privilege you can go to church, in some countries they can't.. Bathroom?... When you gotta go, you gotta go... Brother Glen

 

[Brad the Baptist]

How times have changed... Just honor the privilege you can go to church, in some countries they can't.. Bathroom?... When you gotta go, you gotta go... Brother Glen

So... when you gotta belch, just let it out? This happens every week. I'm not sure how things are on a farm, but I think with a privilege, there should be some etiquette.

 

[tyndale1946]

So... when you gotta belch, just let it out? This happens every week. I'm not sure how things are on a farm, but I think with a privilege, there should be some etiquette.

Interesting you bring that up... You know I heard a minister at a big annual meeting address a situation of a baby crying in church... Now to me that would be very disturbing as those who were trying to listen... Instead of bringing dishonor to the Mother, he said: Praise the Lord to have the little ones in church... She soon after took the crying child outside but he didn't draw attention to the crying but to the fact that one of God's little ones were in church... Think of scripture when Jesus own disciples stood in the way of children coming to him... To me we are to picky, picky, picky in church and I agree there should be some etiquette... But don't let their un etiquette and your etiquette deprive you of a member that only wanted to serve the Lord... Brother Glen

 

[Deacon]

We used to serve coffee and snacks in the back corner of the meeting room so food in the service isn't a problem.
And it's true, about a third of the congregation comes in late, same ones every Sunday.

But as long as we're griping...

Why does someone sitting in the front row always have to get up and go to the bathroom during the service?
​

Rob

 

[tyndale1946]

We used to serve coffee and snacks in the back corner of the meeting room so food in the service isn't a problem.
And it's true, about a third of the congregation comes in late, same ones every Sunday.

But as long as we're griping...

Why does someone sitting in the front row always have to get up and go to the bathroom during the service?
​

Rob

My thoughts exactly Rob... I remember being song leader. We had a brother in church and every time a certain song was selected by this old brother, which was his favorite, he sang a certain part off key... You could hear his voice off key among the rest of us... And everyone in the congregation knew it was coming... That was over 50 years ago and that brother has long ago gone to be with the Lord... Every time I hear this song I think of that old brother that sang off key and smile that I knew him... I guess this is nothing new as the children of Israel were always complaining... Some more than others... Brother Glen

 

[Alcott]

Our church used to have notices up saying "No beverages allowed in the sanctuary," and I think it was just presumed that food was not allowed. But recently I have seen people with cups of coffee, maybe other drinks, and I don't see those notices any more. So apparently that is now allowed, though I was never given the 'official' word. This aspect of the problems herein mentioned, as well as the others, seems to come down to the question of how much catering to the persons should a church do just to keep them there.It's perhaps comparable to how much grandparents will let the grandkids get away with that they never did allow their children, the kids' parents.

Anyway, I still do not drink coffee in the church service, though I've always been a noted consumer thereof n Bible classes-- Life Groups, they are now called. We did have a change in how the coffee is distributed some months ago. It used to be that those who prepared the coffee poured it into 'coffee butlers' that anyone could come and take to the different classrooms. That was convenient, but it was announced that we are wasting __ gallons (not sure they gave a number) every week, so now we have big coffeemakers set in various places in which those who want a cup have to come and get it. I'm sure we are wasting less that way, but for those of us who have trouble getting around, it can be a lot to go through to get that one cup. I have to change buildings and cross a parking area and then walk 40 yards.And I probably would not consider this much except that it may be another example of how we're led to expect the church to be convenient for us, and to note I'm also affected.

I'm sure few would argue that a church service today is much less of a 'dignified' procedure than it was decades ago. Nobody ever clapped in church when I was a kid, for example. And if a few kids sitting together were whispering or passing things to each other, one or more nearby adults would move to sit between or among them. For that matter, other ceremonies, like graduations or music recitals, had an accepted line of dignity, and persons involved did not have their own "cheering sections" to yell for them when their name was announced or they performed. "Give an inch and they'll take a mile" might have been the thought about compromising solemnity and affirming the individual rather than the purpose of the gathering.

 

[Reynolds]

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I believe a certain amount of decency (respect) needs to be shown when in the house of the Lord.

I go to a small Baptist church, with less than 50 members. Constantly, people show up late. I can see once in a while, but many people show up 15 to 20 minutes late into the service- and it's usually the same people. Then, it never fails. Some people get up constantly to get a drink, go to the bathroom, whisper back and forth, grab a refill on coffee or another donut, and one guy even has a bad habit of belching.

The pastor, who has spoke up about these issues, seems to be ignored. I have spoken to some of these people myself, and I get a bunch of excuses, yet it keeps happening.

I'm not very eloquent with my words. I don't know what to say to these people, even after they've been told. This type of behavior gets my blood pressure up, and sometimes I have to pray to get my focus back on the sermon. Is it me? Or has anyone else had experience with this?

~ Brother Brad

I don't like disrespect either. I would be sure of their reasons before I judged them. I had to take diuretics for a while. I was that person peering and drinking during service.

 

[Brad the Baptist]

The problem might be me. During worship, people are texting on their phones, coming in late, and talking loud enough to communicate over the worship songs. I don't sing too well, but when I worship, it's to the Lord Jesus. The songs, the lyrics, refresh my memory of all that the Lord has done for me, and how grateful and blessed I am. Fifteen to twenty minutes into it, when someone walks in late, they feel the need to talk about the weather, Trump, Hillary, the FBI, global warning, Russia, how fresh the donuts are, their aching back, how they didn't sleep, parking problems, and just about everything else EXCEPT singing. Then, as if that's not enough, along comes a BUUUUUURPP by the 20 something year old and newlywed brother who needs to get up 3 to 4 times for more beverages.

Maybe I should make an appointment with my doctor and get a prescription for Ritalin. I might have attention deficit disorder.

I don't like disrespect either. I would be sure of their reasons before I judged them. I had to take diuretics for a while. I was that person peering and drinking during service.

People who come in late, usually have the best, rehearsed excuses as to why they are late. The people who get up and leave during the service are the same ones who get up to get more water or coffee. They are healthy and young. The guy who burps all the time has been told plenty of times but he still does it.

Maybe I should make an appointment with a psychiatrist and get a prescription for anti-anxiety pills so this stuff won't bother me??

 

[Reynolds]

The problem might be me. During worship, people are texting on their phones, coming in late, and talking loud enough to communicate over the worship songs. I don't sing too well, but when I worship, it's to the Lord Jesus. The songs, the lyrics, refresh my memory of all that the Lord has done for me, and how grateful and blessed I am. Fifteen to twenty minutes into it, when someone walks in late, they feel the need to talk about the weather, Trump, Hillary, the FBI, global warning, Russia, how fresh the donuts are, their aching back, how they didn't sleep, parking problems, and just about everything else EXCEPT singing. Then, as if that's not enough, along comes a BUUUUUURPP by the 20 something year old and newlywed brother who needs to get up 3 to 4 times for more beverages.

Maybe I should make an appointment with my doctor and get a prescription for Ritalin. I might have attention deficit disorder.



People who come in late, usually have the best, rehearsed excuses as to why they are late. The people who get up and leave during the service are the same ones who get up to get more water or coffee. They are healthy and young. The guy who burps all the time has been told plenty of times but he still does it.

Maybe I should make an appointment with a psychiatrist and get a prescription for anti-anxiety pills so this stuff won't bother me??

I definitely see where you are coming from. I can not stand people being late. Never dealt with a burger in church. I am sure it would annoy me. People going and coming don't bother me.

 

[Salty]

... I understand people need to go to the bathroom.

some folks may have a medical problem - and if so - then they should sit near the exit.

I also understand people might need to get a drink of water.

For a true necessity - of water - I have no problem with a person binging in a bottle of water.

The people who arrive to church late are the same ones over and over again. They have jobs. I'm wondering what would happen if they consistently showed up to work 20 minutes late?

They would be fired. This just goes to show the priority some people put on a worship service.

Thanks for the input. I will talk to my pastor and ask him what the best way is for me to back him up. Like i said, I'm not very eloquent and could use a few pointers on what to say and how to say it.

Brad- During prayer time - I would simply stand in the doorway, so late comers could not enter. Never said anything - other than to put my finger over my mouth - to indicate "please be quiet"

Now here is a great question for the pastors here!

Is it possible to come up with a Sunday message about courtesy in church ( no food, not being late, no texting, ect) if so - what would be the Three points (and sub-points) and what Scripture would you use?

 

[Salty]

I definitely see where you are coming from. I can not stand people being late. Never dealt with a burger in church. I am sure it would annoy me. People going and coming don't bother me.

We had an individual who was constantly late. One Sunday - as usual he was late and came in with a KFC dinner - and went to sit on the front row ( I guess he had to be on the front row to show how spiritual he was.)

 

[Alcott]

Is it possible to come up with a Sunday message about courtesy in church ( no food, not being late, no texting, ect) if so - what would be the Three points (and sub-points) and what Scripture would you use?

There is very little in scripture about behavior/courtesy in church. The most significant passages are found in I Corinthians, in there with tongues, prophets, and head coverings. But it is found to let speakers speak and not interrupt. In James, of course, there is the warning about not showing favoritism to the rich, but that's hardly the point of the items here, unless there is a rich man/woman/couple who habitually come late and take 'breaks,' and nothing is said about it, but other people are cracked over it.

A relation can be made with excellent sermon I remember, "God is Serious About His Church." This was based on the Ananias and Sapphira incident, in which they falsely claimed the land they sold was for a lower price and held back some of the proceeds.I've always thought the point of why they both suddenly fell dead when confronted with the truth was because the church was in infancy, and an infection is deadly to an infant and must be eradicated. So God does not always end peoples' lives for treating the church casually, or with 'just a little' incongruity, but don't discount the seriousness of the offense, which you may still be called on to the carpet for.

 

[Reynolds]

We had an individual who was constantly late. One Sunday - as usual he was late and came in with a KFC dinner - and went to sit on the front row ( I guess he had to be on the front row to show how spiritual he was.)

Some people do my need to be put in their place. Sometimes they need a little drill Sgt. to come out on them.

 

[tyndale1946]

Some people do my need to be put in their place. Sometimes they need a little drill Sgt. to come out on them.

Well Reynolds do you think if you appeared to them in this uniform they would change their ways?... Brother Glen

Ephesians 6:13 Wherefore take unto you the whole Armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

6:14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

6:15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

6:16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

 

[saved41199]

I don't know what to say to these people, even after they've been told. This type of behavior gets my blood pressure up, and sometimes I have to pray to get my focus back on the sermon. Is it me? Or has anyone else had experience with this?

I know it's absolutely aggravating when people just can't seem to get to church on time or do other goofy things. I sing in our choir so I'm up front for the first 15 minutes or so of service. I mean, I'm at church all morning from about 9am until about 12:45pm (Sing first service, slide out for Sunday school, come back in to sing second service and stay for that service).

However...focusing on others' behavior during church isn't really what the Lord expects. I can tell you who wants that kind of behavior and getting your blood pressure up though...(hint, It isn't Jesus). You're letting something that really isn't your issue to deal with steal your focus from the Lord and the teaching of His word. Even if folks come in late, give glory to God that at least they came. So what if they get up to get a drink of water, at least they came. So what if the guy burps, he came to church. So what if they're whispering back and forth, they came! What they do in church is between them and the Lord. Focusing on what others are doing or not doing is not helping YOU at all. Focus on YOU. Focus on quieting your heart and your mind to listen to what the Lord is trying to teach you through your pastor's sermon. Follow along in your bible, take notes. Keep your focus on two people...the Lord and you. Honestly, although I sing in our church choir, I couldn't tell you what most folks are doing during the time we're up singing. My focus is on our choir director, listening to the music and those singing around me, and most of all the Lord. When I slip out for Sunday School, I slip out quietly and don't make a production of it. When I come down off the choir platform and stay for the service, once again, I can't tell you what's going on around me. I'm listening, reading, taking notes. I don't have the time to watch others if I'm going to watch me.