-
Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.
Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!
Unmarried Christians and Dating
- Thread starter Zaac
- Start date
- Status
If they are adults over the age of any local curfew, or absent any other collegiate or parental regulations, they can be out as long as they want.
Zaac
Well-Known Member
Yes, I am aware that they can be out as long as they want. :laugh:
But say you had a college-aged son(this is what the situation is for one of my friends in my men's group) living at home. He's been seeing this Christian girl and coming home in the early hours of the morning.
Is this appropriate?
Before I could give you what I think would be an "appropriate" time for each of them to return to their respective homes, you would have to tell me more about these two unmarried and dating Christians than what your OP states.
For example, how old are each of these people?
If they were only, say, 16 YO, living with their respective parents (and thus, under their parents' authority), I would say that they'd need to be back home at an earlier time---a time that would be set by their parents (especially the girl's parents!).
The exact time might vary depending if it's on a "school night" (on which I wouldn't even recommend them dating in the first place!), or on a weekend (Friday or Saturday evenings).
If it's during the summer, or during a school break period, that'd depend on some other factors such as do either (or both) of them have summer jobs that require them to be "on the job" at an early time. If that's the case, then they'd need to be back home in time for them to get enough sleep so that they wouldn't come dragging into work half asleep and not really ready to do whatever their work requires them to do.
Are they old enough (at least 18 or more YO) to be "on their own," much more so than a younger person (as in the above example) would be expected to be?
If that's the case, then hopefully they'd also be a bit more mature enough to adjust their schedule accordingly. (Sad to say, many people, even though they should be mature enough to have enough self-discipline to be responsible enough to adjust their schedules accordingly still haven't "got the memo" that tells them that they should do this.)
Or, are they past the age where most of them are out on their own? IOW, have they either graduated from college, or maybe have spent time in the military such that they can be expected to conduct themselves as basically autonomous people?
You see, Bro. Zaac, you haven't given me the information in your OP by which I could formulate a reasonable answer to the question you posed in your OP.
If you could do that, then I could give you what's, IMHO anyway, a reasonable reply to your OP's question.
For example, how old are each of these people?
If they were only, say, 16 YO, living with their respective parents (and thus, under their parents' authority), I would say that they'd need to be back home at an earlier time---a time that would be set by their parents (especially the girl's parents!).
The exact time might vary depending if it's on a "school night" (on which I wouldn't even recommend them dating in the first place!), or on a weekend (Friday or Saturday evenings).
If it's during the summer, or during a school break period, that'd depend on some other factors such as do either (or both) of them have summer jobs that require them to be "on the job" at an early time. If that's the case, then they'd need to be back home in time for them to get enough sleep so that they wouldn't come dragging into work half asleep and not really ready to do whatever their work requires them to do.
Are they old enough (at least 18 or more YO) to be "on their own," much more so than a younger person (as in the above example) would be expected to be?
If that's the case, then hopefully they'd also be a bit more mature enough to adjust their schedule accordingly. (Sad to say, many people, even though they should be mature enough to have enough self-discipline to be responsible enough to adjust their schedules accordingly still haven't "got the memo" that tells them that they should do this.)
Or, are they past the age where most of them are out on their own? IOW, have they either graduated from college, or maybe have spent time in the military such that they can be expected to conduct themselves as basically autonomous people?
You see, Bro. Zaac, you haven't given me the information in your OP by which I could formulate a reasonable answer to the question you posed in your OP.
If you could do that, then I could give you what's, IMHO anyway, a reasonable reply to your OP's question.
Zaac
Well-Known Member
He's 25 and she's 21.
People are going to think what they want to think regardless of what time they come home.
Staying out after 12:00 midnight is not a sin nor is it giving the appearance of evil. He's 25 and she's 21. What if they drove out of town for a wedding of friends and didn't get back home until 3:30 AM.
No hanky-panky. No immorality. Just a 25 year old and a 21 year old driving back a long distance from a friend's wedding.
It's not really anybody's business.
Staying out after 12:00 midnight is not a sin nor is it giving the appearance of evil. He's 25 and she's 21. What if they drove out of town for a wedding of friends and didn't get back home until 3:30 AM.
No hanky-panky. No immorality. Just a 25 year old and a 21 year old driving back a long distance from a friend's wedding.
It's not really anybody's business.
Zaac
Well-Known Member
I believe your response to be completely unBiblical.
It depends on when they go out and what they are doing. If they go out at 8:00 o'clock and come home at 4:00 am, I'd ask them what they are doing out so late and take it from there. If the 21 year old is still living at home the parents have every reason to ask him. If they go out after someone finishes their job on 2nd shift at 11:00 pm and come in at 4:00 am, that's entirely different. But still, there's not much open at 2:00 am.
It *shouldn't* be. Unfortunately, human nature means it is. We can't avoid everyone's silly-stupid assumptions and thinking; but we can do our best to give a proper Christian appearance, and not be a stumbling block to others.
If you can show me from scripture where it is the business of non-family members who are only being gossipy and judgmental old crows, then I will listen.
Otherwise, you find my post distasteful because it differs from yours.
I don't believe as some here believe that there is something mystical and giving a sinful testimony about being out after midnight and being single.
Zaac
Well-Known Member
As Don has noted with the referenced Scripture, Christians are not supposed to give the appearance of evil. We are to give a right witness. And gossipy family members, neighbors or elsewise, the onus is on the Christian from GOD to not give the appearance of evil.
I find it distasteful because it's at odds with Scripture.
Okay, that's you. In an age of sexual immorality left and right, I believe it's incumbent upon Christians to not be stumbling blocks in that area for their gossipy family members, neighbors or anyone else.
Wait a minute. Since when is being out late an "appearance of evil"? This is simply old school thinking that if two people are out late then there must be hanky-panky going on. It's along the same line of thinking that if a woman dresses immodestly she is asking to be raped.
If two people wanted to have relations they certainly don't need to wait until 2 am to do it! They can figure out a way to get it done.
In an age of sexual immorality? What, did we enter a new era in human nature recently? Gossipy Christians are the stumbling blocks, not two people staying out past midnight.
BTW, I've grown tired of the use of "avoid any appearance of evil" and "don't be a stumbling block" to justify any extra-Biblical regulations that some legalist might want to impose on others. Maybe these people should examine themselves and wonder why they're jumping to conclusions about the behavior of others.
Last edited by a moderator:
Zaac
Well-Known Member
I didn't say otherwise. But I'm just being real. People are more susceptible to giving in to temptation when they are alone, relaxed and in the dark.
If they are still living at home it would seem they would let the parents know when they are leaving and when they intend to be back. It can be an appearance of evil if there does not seem to be a specific reason. Certainly a young man who cares about the young lady would not be willing to put the young ladies reputation at risk and have her home at a decent hour. If it is my daughter then I can tell you she will be.
That's right it is and rightly so.
Being out late is not a sin. And people are going to talk, regardless of facts. I agree with Scarlett O.
- Status