Unmarried Christians and Dating

[annsni]

For those who live in my home, I expect them to be home at a decent hour. I want the house shut down and lights out so I can sleep peacefully through the night. My 23 year old daughter is dating a wonderful Christian guy and sometimes they are out late because they are at an event (concert or something) but usually they are each home by 1 am or so - more often earlier since they both have obligations in the morning.

I would have serious issues with any child coming home at the wee hours of the morning if they are out on a date. There is really no good reason for them to be out so late. I would definitely have an issue with it and would be speaking to both of them about their disrespect for their parents.

 

[annsni]

Oh and one issue I have with the being out late and reputation is this:

By a certain hour, any venue they might want to be at or any activity they want to do will more than likely be closed. The only things open late around here are diners and bars. I'd rather my daughter not be hanging out in a bar until the wee hours of the morning. So my question to them would be just what are they doing after everything has shut down? I've had my girls out late when they've seen a midnight movie and I understand that but if there is no real activity, they can hang out here late because really, there is no place else to go.

 

[preachinjesus]

Two Christians are dating. How late is appropriate for them to be out alone?

How else are they going to make out?

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Oh and one issue I have with the being out late and reputation is this:

By a certain hour, any venue they might want to be at or any activity they want to do will more than likely be closed. The only things open late around here are diners and bars. I'd rather my daughter not be hanging out in a bar until the wee hours of the morning. So my question to them would be just what are they doing after everything has shut down? I've had my girls out late when they've seen a midnight movie and I understand that but if there is no real activity, they can hang out here late because really, there is no place else to go.

Tis true...good point.:thumbs:

 

[Jordan Kurecki]

It's never a good idea for two members of the opposite sex to be alone, especially young people with raging hormones.

It's typically the people who think they "Can handle it" who can't.

Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.


I had classmate tell me he could handle holding hands with his girlfriend, I warned him that he was playing with fire and referenced 1 Cor 7:1... he blew off what I said and told me "I can handle it, I don't get tempted."

a few months later they were caught fornicating in a closet and were kicked from Bible College.

 

[Zaac]

It's never a good idea for two members of the opposite sex to be alone, especially young people with raging hormones.

It's typically the people who think they "Can handle it" who can't.

Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.


I had classmate tell me he could handle holding hands with his girlfriend, I warned him that he was playing with fire and referenced 1 Cor 7:1... he blew off what I said and told me "I can handle it, I don't get tempted."

a few months later they were caught fornicating in a closet and were kicked from Bible College.

So true. Spoke to his dad and he had confronted him. His son, as we both suspected, has been fornicating with the young girl. :tear:

 

[Sapper Woody]

I think a lot of times we approach things like this as "Is it sin?", when we all know it's not. The better approach is "Is this wise?".



Simple answer: No, it's never wise for two single people of the opposite sex to be alone, regardless of the time. As was stated earlier, the hour doesn't matter. But the later they're out, the more likely they're alone.

 

[InTheLight]

a few months later they were caught fornicating in a closet and were kicked from Bible College.

Yes....and what time of day was it?

 

[InTheLight]

So true. Spoke to his dad and he had confronted him. His son, as we both suspected, has been fornicating with the young girl. :tear:

So now what? Forbid them to see each other? Because if you put a curfew on them they'll just find some other time to do it.

 

[Bro. James]

If this is a church discipline matter, putting it on a blog is encouraging rumor and malicious gossip--and none of our business to start with.

If not related to church discipline, it is just plain rumor, gossip and innuendo--still none of our business.

"Abstain from all appearance of evil" goes along with: "Whatsoever is not of faith is sin."

Everybody has dirty laundry. Now what?

Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

Bro. James

 

[Jordan Kurecki]

Yes....and what time of day was it?

day time.

that's besides the point.

I don't think two young people of the opposite sex should ever be alone...day or night..

 

[InTheLight]

day time.

that's besides the point.

Read the thread title. It's the entire point.

I don't think two young people of the opposite sex should ever be alone...day or night..

Good luck with that. And these people are 25 and 21 years old.

 

[Deacon]

It's been awhile but Mom told me to be sure and wake her up when I got home so she could stop worrying.

Rob

 

[Baptist Believer]

I would talk to him about 1 Thessalonians 5:22.

I certainly hope you are talking about "avoiding evil whenever and wherever it appears" instead of the legalistic and impossible-to-meet interpretation that thinks Paul is commanding the church to avoid everything that someone (usually a "religious" person or someone who has experienced a legalistic religious tradition) might possibly suspect is evil.

If you go with the latter interpretation, then Jesus, Peter and Paul violated that principle quite a bit.

There are many "religious" people who will gladly assume the worst of everyone else so that they can feel better about themselves. It is the fruit of a lack of grace and the absence of a gospel message that enables its hearers to experience transformation from the inside out.

In my experience, you can't be a faithful Christian without being called into circumstances where people may willingly misinterpret what you are doing. Jesus was crucified for it.

In regard to the specific situation raised in the OP, 1 Thessalonians 5:22 does not directly apply unless temptation to commit evil appears. Unless this couple lives in a 24-hour city like New York City, common wisdom tells us it is unlikely that anything good is going on if this is happening on a regular basis.

 

[righteousdude2]

Two Christians are dating. How late is appropriate for them to be out alone?

You got to be kidding? Is this a trick question?

How about providing the rest of the info so we can make an informed decision. Things like their ages? Are they living at home, or on their own? Are they adults. Have they been married before?

 

[righteousdude2]

He's 25 and she's 21.

At that age, I'd say they need to be accountable to their relationship with the Father as well as being responsible enough to practice what the Bible teaches about dating. As to any sin based on when they get home. You have blamed me for making up new sins. Isn't that what you are trying to do here?

When the rubber meets the road, each of these young people are fully and completely accountable to their Abba, and no rules in this world would make a difference.

 

[Zaac]

At that age, I'd say they need to be accountable to their relationship with the Father as well as being responsible enough to practice what the Bible teaches about dating. As to any sin based on when they get home. You have blamed me for making up new sins. Isn't that what you are trying to do here?

When the rubber meets the road, each of these young people are fully and completely accountable to their Abba, and no rules in this world would make a difference.

You act like you've got rocks for brains. SMH. Where have I said staying out late is a sin?

 

[wpe3bql]

He's 25 and she's 21.

If that's the case, why even ask for other people's opinions???

If they're that old, whose business is it to know how long they stay out?

Are you worried that "something might happen" if they aren't home by the crack of 8 pm??

Friend, believe it or not, "something might happen" at noon. It's happened in plenty of workplaces at that time. Do I have to draw you a detailed picture to explain what I mean here?

There are plenty accounts of "Old (& I do mean OLD!) Sugar Daddy" being "not so nice" to a young female new hire who wants to be promoted to a higher-paying position really fast.
Catch my drift.

I seriously think you need to get a life instead of worrying what so-and-so might think about things like this!

Unless, of course, you're hiding something you hope won't be revealed, and, consequently, cause some people to think less highly of you than before your dirty linen suddenly became exposed for the whole world to see.

Hopefully that's not your situation. But, if it is, then you probably already know what you need to do. If not, there's plenty of good people here on BB who'd be more than happy to walk you through the process by which you can redeem yourself and start anew for God's glory and your own personal welfare.

 

[righteousdude2]

You act like you've got rocks for brains. SMH.

Where have I said staying out late is a sin?

Well that's a step, rocks! At least there's something there. What's that between your ears? You didn't have to say it was a sin, it is implied, by your vague approach to asking the question. And you knew some would jump on this as a parental issue, and for adults dating, a question as to their morals? So don't pretend you weren't looking for something to build a moral code around or a foundation on? :flower:

 

[Rolfe]

Rd and Zaac should never be left alone without a chaperone.