tragic_pizza said:
Well, everyone judges to some extent or the other. And Eric's probably like me in that he lets his temper get the better of him sometimes.
Sometimes you have to get past the labels, you know?
As I have said, it comes from my having been here. Now is a good chance to give my own testimony in this area. While never attempting suicide; I had in the earliest years of my faith been in positons of utter dispair. I had a staunchly aganostic father, and faith in an invisible God was hard enough form me, but for him to be ripping up my faith everynight, and then he was haing a serious alcohol problem at the time, so he was completely nasty and vulgar. Then; I was always a social misfit, and was 20 and had never been on a single date or anything. Stuck in a minimum wage job that I liked (it certainly was a nice escape), but with no way to get out on my own.
Because I was mixed up in Armstrongism (and also went to SDA studies, since the Armstrong meetings were ususllay closed to the outside) and knowing these groups had some unbiblical teachings; I kept at arm's length. so I had absolutely no fellowship.
Did give up that job over the sabbath, however, to those who think I'm justifying sin because I don;t believe it has to be kept now. Wound up at Macy's Herald Sq. but lost that and another too, and ended up in the Air Force.
by this time; I was having a total breakdown. Now, having left sabbatarianism; I did find fellowship, but the Christians were completely cold using all of these scriptures we are debating to say the "trials" were good for me, I should not be having these problems; and then all the cliche's: God is "in control", "don't look at the problem, look at Jesus", and if I'm still so "distressed"; perhaps I never really received God. One Nazarene even called me "unsanctified" (between his own bouts of severe depression)! Another friend who used to criticize both of us, then fell competely apart, I heard, after I left the service. So I was then back home and with my father again.
I found other fellowship, but learned by then not to spill my problems on them so much. So I kept it all inside, and began writing.
The irony, is that back then; I believed all those scriptures were saying all that stuff. But this left me in a dilemma. They're telling me to "go to God with my problems because He solves them", but at the same time; they made God look like He did not care at all; He wanted me to suffer, and was only mad at me if I did not just suck it up and display the right attitude. How then could I really even "go to Him" then? I even used to "repent" of "failing Him" for getting so mad or "bitter" so much, and be down on myself as a bad Christian. It was all the more distressing, and
this is what pushed me down to the point of not wanting to live! However; "thinking of everyone else but myself", and "my life is not my own", and "maybe God has some plan", I plugged on. Though it still didn't satisfy the other Christians who demand a perfect attitude! Still, most just didn't seem to care. And it wasn't just myself; but I saw others down in the dumps people with their textbook solutions to problems were being cold to (and I was the only one showing compassion to them). People had their own stable lives God "gave them" to maintain, and if God wanted someone else to suffer, they didn't want to be bothered. God ordained everything, so this is what we should be happy with. People looked down on other sifferers as not wanting help, because "they are not handling it as good as
I have".
I have to bear responsibility for
my actions, so why are you letting this other person off the hook". (Making it all the more ironic how such people then have the utter nerve call the person in distress "self-centered"!) This was also the basis of many fundamentalists' rejection of all psychology and therapy, and saying that "all mental illness is a choice", etc. and all sorts ot other unbelievingly cold views! All based on scriptures being twisted to say that our pain is sent or allowed by God for good! Meanwhile many of these people were profiting obscenely from turning these teachings into formulas of "Christian victory", "Abundant life". They made it all look so easy, even while admitting the Christian life was "not easy". It was all the more confusing. Yet; I did not see any christian who had this "victory". All struggled with life, and survived just as anyone else in the world. Yet the next person's book on how to have this elusive "victory" would always become a bestseller.
Eventually, everything got better; I met the woman I married; both of us had a lot of scars from the past, so things were often rocky, and I found a stable job.
It was with the preterist debates right here a couple of years ago; while not agreeing with the whole doctrine; I did begin to get more of the original context or "audience relevance" of many of these scriptures, and I saw how many of them were taken and applied to things they were not originally discussing. And yes; I in a sense "blew my stack". For all those years I was lied to, and then made to be down on myself, and sometimes even have my salvation questioned; sometimes even by myself! All of that distress, all in the name of "God's help" or "comfort". And not just me, but others going through this today, including any potential suicideal Christians. God's "promises" were turned ito something competley unrecognizable from their original contexts.
And so it continues today, with people's judgments on suicide, and judgments on people like xdisciple, at time. We all should be "joyful", or we are not "trusting in God", but many of the people saying this stuff are not joyful towards the people they are condemning like that.
If you don't want to be accused of judging, then don't make the shoe fit. (And I was speaking generally at the attitude here, not addressing you personally, Claudia).
