IMHO, brother Frigid, the ultimate issue becomes one of salt and light. I do not believe that this is an issue tied specifically to "death metal," but rather that we have a tendency to want what we want, to like what we like, and to look like the secular culture with which we identify. Put simply, we would rather have Christ as an addition to our lives. We do not want to give up the things we have grown to love, but instead we would like to cling to those things within a "Christian" context.
As an illustration, I once listened to a debate regarding the Catholic use of sacraments. A protestant teacher (I can't remember who was debating the issue) basically accused the RCC of taking pagan rituals and incorporating them into "Christianity" as the sacrament of communion. In defense, the priest acknowledged that their practice was taken from Roman paganism but concluded that God purified the pagan ritual so as to be acceptable.
Ultimately, I believe that this is something that you are going to have to decide. Look at the music and why you like it. Look at how it is interpreted by those you encounter on a daily basis. Prayerfully consider the genre. In the end I think that you will find that you are going to grow away from the music....simply because that is what happens with music. I wouldn't worry about people disagreeing with your conclusions, but I'd also hold those conclusions with a grain of salt.
There are some here who like Christian Rap. I would rather staple a Chick tract to my face than listen to Christian Rap. I pretty much feel the same about death metal. But you and I are different people. You are not accountable to me or the BB. Take our opinion for what it is. You are, however, accountable to God and to your church. That is where, IMHO, you should seek guidance (and take that guidance to heart).