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What do you think of Day Care
- Thread starter mcdirector
- Start date
James_Newman said:
imo, this is sort of like saying a Christian day school encourages families to not teach their kids about God at home. Im not discounting what you say, though.
To me this is meeting a need and facing the reality of the world we live in today. In reality, if a church can meet this need at a less expensive rate than the single moms might not need to work as long hours in order to pay for the rising cost of childcare.
Personally Im looking at primarily ways to help the single moms. They have no other option, and we cannot just ignore their situation just because we wish it could have worked out better for them.
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donnA said:
no Donna, I didnt first make the comparison. I was responding to someone else who in fact has been characterizing the kids of SAHMs as being the worst behaved kids he usually sees. I simply was pointing out that we could trade anecdotes about each other's experiences all day and it would prove nothing about who's is actually better behaved.
And frankly, I don't think kids' behavior is really based on whether or not they are in daycare. Their behavior is based on what kind of love and discipline and training they are getting. A good daycare will provide proper training and discipline within bounds and lots of love. A good mom will too. So of course we will have cases where "daycare kids" act better than some SAHM's kids. We're going to have lots of cases the opposite, too, because that's how people are. No one's perfect.
I personally have never characterized daycare kids as acting worse than anyone else's kids. I was responding to one other poster and we got it taken care of.
I'm sorry, I must not have made my thoughts easy to understand once again. I, was quoting you, from one of your, posts. As I was saying, of the 2 of us, you spoke about it first, before I did, thats what I said. I was simply quoting you and commenting on your post. Wuld you like me to go back and get the quote of yours I was addressing?bapmom said:
no donnA,
you've made yourself perfectly clear. One thing I really don't get is why you're pushing this with me. Ive been crystal that I do not condemn any mother for putting her kids in daycare. Ive also been quite positive about churches doing something to help each other in this area so that our kids are not stuck somewhere with strangers in a corporate daycare.
My point with you right now is that I did not start the comparison in the first place between the two choices and how the kids act. You joined in on that part, even declaring that the SAHM kids you knew acted far worse than the daycare kids. I ignored this implication at the time because I did not want to contribute to this sort of thing. However, you're not letting it go for some reason.........I really don't understand that.
Like I said, I don't think the cause of good or bad behavior is the daycare or the SAH situation, per se. It is the result of good or bad parenting. Now, the question is, do I want to be my child's only parent? or do I want to let a daycare help be their parent?
As Ive said over and over and over and over and over...........(k?)..........I know very well that there are situations where mom doesn't have a choice but to use daycare. In those cases she's got to be extra-special careful that the daycare she chooses is helping her to parent those kids right. Like it or not, when a child is in daycare 5 days out of the week or more, then the daycare workers are "parenting" the child. This is not a condemnation, it is just fact. We as moms in this situation need to accept that reality because it will help us choose that daycare that much more carefully.
you've made yourself perfectly clear. One thing I really don't get is why you're pushing this with me. Ive been crystal that I do not condemn any mother for putting her kids in daycare. Ive also been quite positive about churches doing something to help each other in this area so that our kids are not stuck somewhere with strangers in a corporate daycare.
My point with you right now is that I did not start the comparison in the first place between the two choices and how the kids act. You joined in on that part, even declaring that the SAHM kids you knew acted far worse than the daycare kids. I ignored this implication at the time because I did not want to contribute to this sort of thing. However, you're not letting it go for some reason.........I really don't understand that.
Like I said, I don't think the cause of good or bad behavior is the daycare or the SAH situation, per se. It is the result of good or bad parenting. Now, the question is, do I want to be my child's only parent? or do I want to let a daycare help be their parent?
As Ive said over and over and over and over and over...........(k?)..........I know very well that there are situations where mom doesn't have a choice but to use daycare. In those cases she's got to be extra-special careful that the daycare she chooses is helping her to parent those kids right. Like it or not, when a child is in daycare 5 days out of the week or more, then the daycare workers are "parenting" the child. This is not a condemnation, it is just fact. We as moms in this situation need to accept that reality because it will help us choose that daycare that much more carefully.
LADIES!!! LADIES!!! LAAAAAAAADEEEEEEESSSS!!!!!!
Group huggggg!!!!:1_grouphug: :1_grouphug:
That's better!!!!
raying:
Let me give you a "scenero" and then lets think about this on the financial perspective!!!
Does it really PAY to have your kids in daycare???
Scenero:
Middle class family of (say) five
Daddy has a good job over at the Honda plant in Lincoln, AL----middle management----a few steps beyond "pushin' a broom!!!"
Brings home ---- lets just say----- $3000.00/month(give or take a few) after taxes
They can "squeek by" driving the latest model "Expadition"---(gas guzzlin' beast that it may be)
After all the expenses----house note, car note, insurance, gas, food, etc.----they're "gettin' by"----able to put a "tad" back in savings---but none the less---they're gettin' by---not by a wide margin----maybe sometimes its a little "tight" until next payday
So "Momma" decides----"I can get a job----we can move up to the Upper Middle Class" and no doubt---we can "cushion" our $$$$$$$$'s
So----with "Momma's" education applied at Auburn U------she lands that job in "no time flat"-----in fact, her husband thiinks its "amazing" that she'd get hired so fast---being she's an Auburn grad
BUT(and its a big one)
She "MUST" put the "Dawlin's" in day care
So they get their heads together and "sypher" the math
Her "take home" pay for the month will be $1200.00-----BUT(another big one)----factor in Gasoline for the car to and from work at $2.55/gal, factor in buyin' "new dud's"----make up, wardrobe---and lunch----and then ----------
She checks out day care costs(my, have we done that lately, ladies????)
3 kids in day care-----$600.00/month----"HOLY COWWWWWWWW!!!!!"
She's spending HALF her hard earned money on day care-----and the other half-----a measley $600.00 on gasoline and "necessary" things
Do you see????
HALF of her pay check goes to day care------so that she may be able to "help make ends meet"
If you "do your math"------day care DOES NOT PAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And thats just the financial end of the perspective!!!!
See????
Group huggggg!!!!:1_grouphug: :1_grouphug:
That's better!!!!
raying: Let me give you a "scenero" and then lets think about this on the financial perspective!!!
Does it really PAY to have your kids in daycare???
Scenero:
Middle class family of (say) five
Daddy has a good job over at the Honda plant in Lincoln, AL----middle management----a few steps beyond "pushin' a broom!!!"
Brings home ---- lets just say----- $3000.00/month(give or take a few) after taxes
They can "squeek by" driving the latest model "Expadition"---(gas guzzlin' beast that it may be)
After all the expenses----house note, car note, insurance, gas, food, etc.----they're "gettin' by"----able to put a "tad" back in savings---but none the less---they're gettin' by---not by a wide margin----maybe sometimes its a little "tight" until next payday
So "Momma" decides----"I can get a job----we can move up to the Upper Middle Class" and no doubt---we can "cushion" our $$$$$$$$'s
So----with "Momma's" education applied at Auburn U------she lands that job in "no time flat"-----in fact, her husband thiinks its "amazing" that she'd get hired so fast---being she's an Auburn grad
BUT(and its a big one)
She "MUST" put the "Dawlin's" in day care
So they get their heads together and "sypher" the math
Her "take home" pay for the month will be $1200.00-----BUT(another big one)----factor in Gasoline for the car to and from work at $2.55/gal, factor in buyin' "new dud's"----make up, wardrobe---and lunch----and then ----------
She checks out day care costs(my, have we done that lately, ladies????)
3 kids in day care-----$600.00/month----"HOLY COWWWWWWWW!!!!!"
She's spending HALF her hard earned money on day care-----and the other half-----a measley $600.00 on gasoline and "necessary" things
Do you see????
HALF of her pay check goes to day care------so that she may be able to "help make ends meet"
If you "do your math"------day care DOES NOT PAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And thats just the financial end of the perspective!!!!
See????
saturneptune
New Member
That above post is a pretty good senario financially, at least one would have to have a hefty salary to make it worthwhile. I think kids are better off being raised by parents to the greatest amount of time as is possible. This has nothing to do with how kids behave. I make the above statement with the assumption that the parents are half way decent parents. There are some people that were never meant to be parents and the kids are better off in day care, or grandparent care.
In our case, I worked the midnight shift and my wife worked the afternoon shift, so we just swapped them back and forth until they were about 4 and 6. Then, when they were going to force my wife to change her hours to where she would not get home until well after I had left, she just quit. There was no day care at that time of day around here. We did fine on my multi million dollar salary :laugh:.
Anyway, it stayed that way until the kids went off to college, and my wife went back to work.
Each case is different, and if Jesus Christ is the head of your marriage, God will work it out for the best as He sees fit.
In our case, I worked the midnight shift and my wife worked the afternoon shift, so we just swapped them back and forth until they were about 4 and 6. Then, when they were going to force my wife to change her hours to where she would not get home until well after I had left, she just quit. There was no day care at that time of day around here. We did fine on my multi million dollar salary :laugh:.
Anyway, it stayed that way until the kids went off to college, and my wife went back to work.
Each case is different, and if Jesus Christ is the head of your marriage, God will work it out for the best as He sees fit.
mcdirector
Active Member
The fact of the matter is that women are going to work outside the home. Children are going to be put in day care.
Is there a way, that we as a church body can approach this to further the cause of Christ? OR are we going to draw a line in the sand here and push people away from the doors of the church. I'm not talking about accepting anything willy-nilly here. I am talking about understanding that people are at different places in their spiritual walk. I'm talking about the fact that people have different backgrounds and personalities.
I saw my dad leave my mom with no skills and two teenage daughters. While I married a godly man, was that hard to get past? You betcha! Is the fact that Ron is 12 years older than I am something that I have to consider? Of course.
Is there a way, that we as a church body can approach this to further the cause of Christ? OR are we going to draw a line in the sand here and push people away from the doors of the church. I'm not talking about accepting anything willy-nilly here. I am talking about understanding that people are at different places in their spiritual walk. I'm talking about the fact that people have different backgrounds and personalities.
I saw my dad leave my mom with no skills and two teenage daughters. While I married a godly man, was that hard to get past? You betcha! Is the fact that Ron is 12 years older than I am something that I have to consider? Of course.
RockRambler
New Member
Are you saying that its not possible for women who work outside the home to be keepers of the home? A lot of women manage both and should be commended for it. There's a lot of men who should appreciated their wives more and help out with the children more...both SAHMs and those working outside the home. Somehow, I think offering a Christian daycare for working moms and an opportunity for SAHMs to have one morning a week for themselves is more beneficial than seeing what the next church building project should be.James_Newman said:
So let's not be concerned about married working moms...guess its easier to pass judgement on them about the selfish reasons they are pursuing a career.bapmom said:
Best post of the whole thread saturn. I think financially a lot of women have decided after having a couple of children, that daycare doesn't make sense financially. But when divorce is at 50% and rising, a woman might find herself coming up a little bit short when hubby walks out with a younger woman after the children have left home and now she has no career, retirement, etc. The courts don't award alimony as much as they used to, and rarely enough to make up the difference. There are many reasons women work outside the home...not all of them selfish.saturneptune said:
RockRambler,
throughout this thread in nearly every post you've made you've seemed determined to be offended.
None of us have "passed judgement". It IS God's "best" for the little ones to be cared for by one of their parents. That is just how it is. Now, that is not a condemnation of those in a different situation. In fact, as me and Bitsy and others have all said before, we need to meet people where they are, accept their reality, and see if we can be of service to them and their children.
throughout this thread in nearly every post you've made you've seemed determined to be offended.
None of us have "passed judgement". It IS God's "best" for the little ones to be cared for by one of their parents. That is just how it is. Now, that is not a condemnation of those in a different situation. In fact, as me and Bitsy and others have all said before, we need to meet people where they are, accept their reality, and see if we can be of service to them and their children.
RockRambler
New Member
You've also stated that your primary concern was single moms who had to work. Excuse me for seeing that as passing judgement against married moms who work.bapmom said:
Joshua Rhodes
<img src=/jrhodes.jpg>
rbell said:
Keep them in the evening. That takes care of that problem. :thumbs: