Here's the Martian view of the church. (By "Martian view" I mean what a Martian might think by viewing it from the outside, with no prior knowledge as to what the people inside believed.)
Church takes the form of...
1. Socializing, when people talk about all sorts of things from football to what happened to Leslie's daughter last week
2. Disorganized assembling into seats
3. Entertainment (a choir sings, individuals sing, etc.)
4. Group participation entertainment ("worship " songs)
5. Collecting money
6. (Sometimes) Synchronized eating and drinking of tiny bits of cracker and some grape juice
7. Fidgeting during a lecture
8. A call for people to come to the altar
9. Some more entertainment
10. A much more organized exit from the meeting area, often including a single-file line to walk by and/or greet the guy who lectured
11. Socializing again, where people continue to talk about football, work, other things
Martian conclusions:
1. Socializing seems to be a very big part of this church thing, since people seem to be happiest during this part of the ritual.
2. The Martian is very confused by the entertainment. Some people seem to really enjoy it, while others are extremely bored.
The group singing entertainment seems like the most important part of the meeting for some people, since they are energetic during the singing but look like they are about to doze off during the lecture.
This week, the Martian picks a woman from the meeting and watches her throughout the week. He notices she is sleeping with some man other than her husband. She was one who was especially emotional when singing "In all I do, I honor you", so I guess this is one of the things that honors "you", whoever that is.
3. The Martian can make no sense at all of the collection of money. Solomn music plays in the background as people pass a basket around. Some people drop in one or two green papers. Others drop in a paper with handwriting on it. Most people don't drop anything in.
4. The synchronized eating ritual is very confusing. People are routinely told to examine themselves, but nobody does. They look off into space or close their eyes, but never look at themselves.
The most important part of this ritual seems to be the timing of putting the cracker in their mouths or drinking the grape juice. Everyone is very careful to do it all at once. One child put the cracker in his mouth when he first got it, and he was scolded by his mom for doing so, so this must be very important.
5. The lecture makes absolutely no sense to the Martian. It obviously doesn't make sense to a lot of the people, because many seem to ignore it, especially the younger ones.
The lecture sometimes talks about the same topics people discussed during socializing. The lecturer sometimes talks about football, or what happened to Leslie's daughter last week. But it always seems to branch off into some unrelated topic which seems much more boring to the people than what they were talking about when they were socializing.
6. A few people walk to the altar and "pray" with the pastor or an elder. The Martian doesn't quite know what to make of this.
7. People don't seem to enjoy the return to the entertainment as much as they did the first entertainment session. They look anxious to move or go somewhere.
8. It's a mystery as to why they file out in an organized way. People seem to be greeting the lecturer AFTER the lecture. Why didn't they greet him when they first showed up?
9. Everyone seems to be happy again. They're back to the socializing, although this social session seems shorter and a good portion of the people are more interested in getting away.
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If I had more time, I'd like to do this "right" and include more details, but I thought I'd whip up this Martian perspective, just for fun.
