There goes my squeaky clean image of you as a child. What'd you do to deserve that John?
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Why he left IFB
- Thread starter Salty
- Start date
There goes my squeaky clean image of you as a child. What'd you do to deserve that John?
Shot my mouth off with my friend the doctor's son after being told to be quiet. The paddle weilder was the 7th grade coach, and he swung a mean one! Millington, Tennessee.There goes my squeaky clean image of you as a child. What'd you do to deserve that John?
Bob Alkire
New Member
Shot my mouth off with my friend the doctor's son after being told to be quiet. The paddle weilder was the 7th grade coach, and he swung a mean one! Millington, Tennessee.
John, I hope he got you good!!! Ha,ha,ha.
I hollered and jumped about a foot! Embarrassing!
But you know, we also followed the teacher in prayer in that public school.
Different folks have different definitions of spanking. I wouldn't be so quick to mock another person's pain simply because your experience was different. Not all "spankings" are done properly or in the best interest of the child.
Poke fun all you want at the writer of the website, but I can personally attest to almost 100% of what he is talking about, right down to the part about the pastor preaching against women wearing flip-flops. Isn't it interesting that my experiences and those of my friends line up EXACTLY with what this man is talking about, even though we don't personally know him? Yet, some of y'all will still question the validity of this man and his website simply because he dares to paint IFB in a negative light.
Sorry guys, but it's not a laughing matter. Maybe if IFB would start taking this stuff seriously, people wouldn't feel the need to bash them. Just a thought.
Poke fun all you want at the writer of the website, but I can personally attest to almost 100% of what he is talking about, right down to the part about the pastor preaching against women wearing flip-flops. Isn't it interesting that my experiences and those of my friends line up EXACTLY with what this man is talking about, even though we don't personally know him? Yet, some of y'all will still question the validity of this man and his website simply because he dares to paint IFB in a negative light.
Sorry guys, but it's not a laughing matter. Maybe if IFB would start taking this stuff seriously, people wouldn't feel the need to bash them. Just a thought.
It was a school spanking, for crying out loud, not a cat of nine tails, not a whip. He should be a man and get on with his life. They are rarely going to be abusive in a school spanking because of the possibility of a lawsuit. If this dude was abused by a spanking, then he should sue them! Otherwise he should grow up.
You have said you suffered genuine abuse at the hands of IFB people. I respect that and I'm very sorry that happened to you. But it seems to me that someone who has suffered genuine abuse would set aside the trivialities (come on, if a pastor preaches against flip flops, he is trivial and it is trivial to criticize it) and concentrate on the genuine abuse to avoid trivializing it by the comparisons.
I further object to people who lump all 20,000 or so (including churches worldwide) IFB churches together with some yahoo pastor who sins. That's just wrong.
I agree, there is a difference between stupidity (like preaching against flip-flops) and true abuse. I believe the site's writer brings that out to illustrate the "majoring on the minor" his pastor did.
Let me give a little perspective on the spanking deal. It could be the guy got a well-deserved spanking. Wouldn't be the first time, I'm sure. It could also be that his parents had the attitude that "if you embarrass us at school, or get a spanking at school, you'll get worse when you get home."
It is not uncommon for victims of abuse to wait until YEARS later to expose the abuse, because it takes that long to overcome the fears and brain-washing that comes along with the abuse. By this time, it's not possible to sue the abusers. As an adult, one is hard pressed to remember dates and times even if the abuser is still alive and whether the statute of limitations is in effect. Kind of hard to prove you got bruises from a school spanking that happened 20 years ago, especially if your parents never reported it or even added to it! So, the victim has no where to turn except to publicly cry out against those he feels is covering up the problem. In doing so, he risks the doubt and disbelief and criticism from those who would rather not hear it.
Yes, I'm sure there are some nut cases out there who create websites for the sole purpose of harming the cause of Christ. I've seen a few sites like that, but I firmly believe the site mentioned in the OP is legit. If you read it thoroughly, you'll see this man is trying to serve God while healing. He's not bashing all Christians or even all IFB, (ok, just most IFB). He's telling his story and the story of many others and he's trying to overcome his past. I think, as fellow believers, we should give him a little credit even if we dislike what he says or how he says it.
It's still trivial. The preacher was trivial and the criticism is trivial.
Thank you. And I'll give you some perspective right back. My older brother could be a mirror image of this guy's "About Me" section except we didn't go to a Christian school. But we grew up the same. He became anti-IFB and indeed anti-Christian. I grew up to be an IFB missionary. To give one example of many, we were both spanked for smoking at the same time. He thought we were abused then, I thank God for it. He starting smoking in HS, I thank God for godly parents who protected me by spanking me.
My brother physically and emotionally abused me growing up. He also abused my parents. Once in HS he came home late at night drunk, and called my father vile names. Dad just put his arms around him and said "I love you." My brother has come back to the Lord (is Episcopalian) and we get along great now. I'm not going to live in the past. I have victory in Christ.
I saw nothing whatsoever in this website about him serving God. His "About Me" was nothing but whining IMO. Who is he witnessing to? What SS class does he teach? He doesn't say. His whole purpose is to bash what he calls the "cult like IFB denomination." This so ignorant it's ridiculous. We are not a denomination and we are not a cult, and it does a disservice to people truly suffering in cults to call us one. I've talked to Japanese in America with the Moonies who were literally slaves since their passports have been taken away. Now that is real suffering from cultists. If people think IFBs are cults, then they become abusive to us, as opposed to the other way around.
I'll tell you what this IFB bashing is doing. It is producing some incredible pain among IFBs. I was in FL last year with my old college roommate. He's a somewhat radical IFB pastor, yeah, but loves the Lord. His wife is an absolute gem who keeps him straight.
An anti-IFB crusader in their town has been going to the children of IFB people and turning them against their parents. Their son left their home--just left with no word to his parents--and went to live with this woman along with a couple of others. (And I guarantee there was no real abuse in my roommate's home.) For a long time he wouldn't even talk to his parents. The anti-IFB woman? She was arrested for other crimes and as far as I know is still in jail. Now THAT'S what websites like this guy's are doing.
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So, what solution do you offer a person who has been abused by IFB? It seems you'd rather the person just be quiet, or just quietly go attend yet ANOTHER IFB church in hopes for a better situation. That's what we did for YEARS, and guess what? They were all the same!
Also, I do object to blaming IFB "bashers" for harming IFB homes. It's not "bashing" to share one's personal experience and expose sin in the camp.
Also, I do object to blaming IFB "bashers" for harming IFB homes. It's not "bashing" to share one's personal experience and expose sin in the camp.
Robert Maynard
New Member
I can agree with almost all of the original post. I recently made the decision to leave the IFB denomination. I spent 10 years in a pastoral abusive relationship as a church member. It was so bad, I nearly committed suicide because of it. I do say this, not all IFB pastors are bad. But, I've seen 1st hand, the "old path" old school, older pastors, are the worst. And, everyone's afraid of saying so. In fear of being black balled and labeled a rebel. I was labeled this, when I dared to question the pastors lying from the pulpit. I did it privately. When myself, and my family left that abusive relationship, the pastor said that the reason my dad got cancer was because he left that church. I attended another IFB church, in Hope's that I would not have the same experience, more dictatorships I will never be an IFB again
Back in the 70's, I was attending a SBC church in Germany (english speaking) - due to several events - the church had an interim IFB pastor. (at the time he could not be pastor because our const required the pastor to be a grad of a SBC college or Seminary) I was more IFB, than SBC at the time - well this pastor did not care for all my views and called me wishy-washy. - Bottom line - he negotiated with the IFB church on the other side of town - they came and joined (as individuals) and ended up in control. One trustee - whom the pastor had friended - went and signed a new contract - for renting the building - and they re-did the constitution - and he became the pastor. The (true) SBC did not want to fight, so we left and formed another church - leaving behind our blood, sweat and tears that we had put into that building over the past three years.
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Maybe take action, legally, against those who have abused rather than trashing the many thousands of IFB churches where no such abuse takes place? Tarring them all with the same brush is allowing one's bitterness to direct one's actions.
Maybe take action, in a legal manner, against those who have abused rather than trashing the many thousands of IFB churches where no such abuse occurs? Tarring them all with the same brush is allowing one's bitterness to direct actions.
See Eph. 4: 31,32.
Don’t you mean “take action, in a legal manner, against the abusers? Seems odd to litigate against the abused to fix abuse.
I am an IFB preacher, but abuse by those in power happens more than is reported. Let me state emphatically that preaching against sin is not abuse. But heckling, needling, and publicly singling out a person who disagrees with the pastor is absolutely abusive. There is a prescribed manner for dealing with sin within the congregation. It starts privately, it continues privately, and only becomes public when both private attempts fail.
The only time someone should be corrected publicly on the spot is for blatant disregard for God’s word in God’s house or in a public demonstration (2 Timothy 5:20). And then it should be with an attitude of mourning, not anger. (2 Corinthians 12:21 through 2 Corinthians 13:2). Paul even says that any sharpness should be used to build up, not to destroy (2 Corinthians 13:12).
Edited to add: I consider myself a fundamentalist, but I find myself using the term “Independent Baptist” when I refer to my church because it doesn’t automatically raise people’s hackles when talking with them about spiritual things. I’m not ashamed of being a fundamentalist, and it always seems to come out in that conversation, but I don’t start with hat in order to be wise as a serpent, and harmless as a dove.
The only time someone should be corrected publicly on the spot is for blatant disregard for God’s word in God’s house or in a public demonstration (2 Timothy 5:20). And then it should be with an attitude of mourning, not anger. (2 Corinthians 12:21 through 2 Corinthians 13:2). Paul even says that any sharpness should be used to build up, not to destroy (2 Corinthians 13:12).
Edited to add: I consider myself a fundamentalist, but I find myself using the term “Independent Baptist” when I refer to my church because it doesn’t automatically raise people’s hackles when talking with them about spiritual things. I’m not ashamed of being a fundamentalist, and it always seems to come out in that conversation, but I don’t start with hat in order to be wise as a serpent, and harmless as a dove.
Should we view the Roman Catholic Church in the same manner.
Yes, many of their priests are guilty - many Bishops are guilty of covering up.
But many more of innocent.
He said, "Those who have abused," not "Those who have been abused."
He has valid points, as it is not the suite nor the bible versision used nor music style that determines if the church is leading members closer to Christ or away from Him!
In terms of abuse, I would hope that great care would be taken to uncover the guilty while sparing the innocent (though the abuse and cover-up seems far more widespread in RC than in IFB.) My biggest issue with the RC church is that their false doctrines are allowing people to remain hell-bound.
He said, "Those who have abused," not "Those who have been abused."
Thanks, John - beat me to it.
I think that was edited after I commented. If not, my apologies.