My husband is the pastor of our SBC church and before they hired him, they asked me if I'd be youth director (they didnt pressure me to.) That's how we worked at our previous church, so I was thrilled that we could continue to be a team. Then 2 years later when our "song leader" resigned, they hired me for that role as well. (I have a Masters in Church Music). They looked at other candidates, but they thought God had put me there for a reason. For our very small church
(and small salary) they would not have been able to get a man with the education that could support a family and not commute (they really didnt want a commuter- and we are waaaaaay out in the country). It has worked out beautifully. I coordinate the worship services according to DH's preaching plan, and staff meetings are a real hoot!
I do not "usurp" authority over him in any way. He actually teaches me so much. Musically, I do teach males in a church setting, but I have the education, and they are eager to learn. As for teaching students, again, I have a seminary education and since many folks around here have GED's or a high school diploma only, they are getting more from me than they would from most men in our church. Now, I DO discuss with my husband every passage I teach because I dont want to just gloss over something or miss something. He attends every youth event and is usually the one who gives the "devotion" at these events. These teens spend tons of time in our home, eating our food, playing with our kids, and even sometimes spending the night. We talk straight with these kids, and they know we'll talk/listen on any topic they need to discuss. We really work as a team, and we love it. So call me director, minister, worker, I dont care, but as long as God provides the opportunity, I will minister to these kids. As for being able to relate to guy issues, well, I'm not a guy, but I do know and understand issues they have. Men dont menstruate (and its a shame!), but many can discuss it intelligently.
Our church would never go for women deacons or pastors, nor would I. But support roles in the church are NOT clearly lain out in the New Testament, no matter how many times the "usurping" verse is quoted. A class on the social setting of the New Testament (which is currently available at our church) would be tremendously helpful in understanding some issues in the New Testament that we try to fit into our own cultural ideas.
I havent really posted much on these topics that have been debated here lately, so there are all my would-be posts rolled into one!!!