Would you do it?

[Brother Bob]

Were they cousins?

The kissing, etc kind. Family tree never did branch off..... They were a very close knit family..

....................

 

[Joe]

So you think a christian woman spending the night, and in this situation, several nights, alone in a man's bedroom can be godly?

Donna your "black and white" cover all here doesn't work, it lacks common sense AND scriptural support.
I gave you one scinereo I can imagine this happening with my family. Yes, it would be godly of my wife to go on a free or very discounted vacation with our elderly male friend, whom has been so good to us for many years, we love him.
He is going blind. He cannot do things on his own. He is 84 ys old, can't see tv or read. He doesn't drive

Just how please explain. How will it appear godly to those who see them?
Theres no gray, thats a man made thing so they can do what they want, truth depends on what you want it to be.

It's not hard to figure out. You ignored the verses about busybodies and gossips. These people do not deserve our attention, nor do they deserve to control us with their wild imaginations.

You can decide for yourself what is right

Brother Bob quoted one verse in Titus in which the context is back in primitive days, not to mention the verse only applies to a specific type of widow (one whom has many other listed problems such as sensual behavor) and the widow must be within a certain age range.

Imho, it's a grey area

 

[Brother Bob]

Donna your "black and white" cover all here doesn't work, it lacks common sense AND scriptural support.
I gave you one scinereo I can imagine this happening with my family. Yes, it would be godly of my wife to go on a free or very discounted vacation with our elderly male friend, whom has been so good to us for many years, we love him.
He is going blind. He cannot do things on his own. He is 84 ys old, can't see tv or read. He doesn't drive

It's not hard to figure out. You ignored the verses about busybodies and gossips. These people do not deserve our attention, nor do they deserve to control us with their wild imaginations.

You can decide for yourself what is right

Brother Bob quoted one verse in Titus in which the context is back in primitive days, not to mention the verse only applies to a specific type of widow (one whom has many other listed problems such as sensual behavor) and the widow must be within a certain age range.

Imho, it's a grey area

I would imagine that the young unmarried were watched more closely than others, but still feel it is good doctrine for none of us to give the adversary room to speak reproachfully of us and bring reproach upon the church.

How about this one then Joe??

Jam 1:27Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, [and] to keep himself unspotted from the world.

BBob,

 

[Joe]

I would imagine that the young unmarried were watched more closely than others, but still feel it is good doctrine for none of us to give the adversary room to speak reproachfully of us and bring reproach upon the church.

How about this one then Joe??

Jam 1:27Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, [and] to keep himself unspotted from the world.

BBob,

Brother Bob, if we consider the prinicpal behind James 1:27 regarding orphans and widows, it is identifying and helping the less fortunate.

We should be assisting them as best we can, making their lives happier. They are people who have difficulty taking care of themselves, in which this catagory also includes elderly folks.

Helping them while vacationing on a cruise or in their homes is keeping ourselves unspotted from the world. It is more than within god's will. The only reproach would be upon those folks whose minds & wagging tongues are dirty attempting to stir up strife.

Imo, in most circumstances, it's best not to stay overnight alone with the opposite sex yet each situation is different. It may or may not be sin. Just my opinion

 

[abcgrad94]

Generally speaking, I wouldn't do it, but, if I were a caregiver or nurse for an elderly man, then yes, I would do it as part of my job. Otherwise, nope.

Actually a friend of ours was a caregiver for an elderly man and had a situation like this come up. One of his granddaughters was getting married in Hawaii. He ended up being too sick to attend the wedding, but no one would have thought anything "wrong" with her going along and staying with him if necessary.

 

[Brother Bob]

Brother Bob, if we consider the prinicpal behind James 1:27 regarding orphans and widows, it is identifying and helping the less fortunate.

We should be assisting them as best we can, making their lives happier. They are people who have difficulty taking care of themselves, in which this catagory also includes elderly folks.

Helping them while vacationing on a cruise or in their homes is keeping ourselves unspotted from the world. It is more than within god's will. The only reproach would be upon those folks whose minds & wagging tongues are dirty attempting to stir up strife.

Imo, in most circumstances, it's best not to stay overnight alone with the opposite sex yet each situation is different. It may or may not be sin. Just my opinion

When I visit the sick sisters at their home Joe, I always make sure others are there, or I take someone with me. One wrong remark, could destroy my whole ministry. People believe what they hear whether its the truth or not, and that is reality.
After you once have had your reputation destroyed, you can no longer have the respect needed to be a preacher, or Pastor. It is gone, and there are some pretty mean people in this world. I advise all Christians to protect themselves from harm of idle talk, so they can help others and not cut their career short.

BBob,

 

[Joe]

When I visit the sick sisters at their home Joe, I always make sure others are there, or I take someone with me. One wrong remark, could destroy my whole ministry. People believe what they hear whether its the truth or not, and that is reality.
After you once have had your reputation destroyed, you can no longer have the respect needed to be a preacher, or Pastor. It is gone, and there are some pretty mean people in this world. I advise all Christians to protect themselves from harm of idle talk, so they can help others and not cut their career short.

BBob,

I am sure it is harder for you as a Pastor so taking someone with you is probably a good idea. Yet if these types of people are dealt with in a godly way, imo, the truth will come out. It usually does. Sounds silly but if you are patient and speak with them enough, not loose patience,they usually stumble over themselves.

Your church members need a strong Pastor who feels a gossip has no power in case they are accused. A church shouldn't be so easily tossed to and fro due to the likes of a sick person, imho. It would be such a loss to loose you, hard to find such a godly man as you.

Even gossips and talebearers, imo, should be given the opportunity to repent though they bug me. If they refuse, then disfellowship them.

When this situation came up with me, I told our Pastor that only one explanation would be given from me the whole time I am a member of the church. So I asked if wanted it now or the next time someone accuses me of adultery. He wanted it then because I was technically the head of the Teen Dept. So I took my sister to him, we explained then we thought that would suffice. Yet the Lady only conjured up some worse story that my hand was too far down her back (placed you know where) while we danced. So what are you gonna do?

Then he said he was accused of flirting with a church member a few years prior. Not sure if it was by this same lady or not, not my business really.

It's Satan's first priority to break up the church imho. He didn't kick me out of the teen dept nor did he ruin Pastors ministry. The church is still going strong. Our Pastor doesn't allow idle talk any more, as best he can.

 

[FriendofSpurgeon]

Joe, I agree that there would be exceptions, but as a general rule, I don't think it is good for single males/females who are good friends (as listed in the OP) to share a cabin on a cruise. If they really want to go on a cruise together, then there are other options as I listed.

In addition to "appearances", they are putting themselves in a potentially dangerous situation. There are just way too many "what ifs" out there that would have catastrophic consequences.

BTW Pastor Bob, my dad (who was a Baptist pastor for 30+ years) never visited women by himself either. I think it's something you all learned in seminary.

 

[Amy.G]

Joe, was that lady disciplined or at least given a good talking to by the pastor for bearing false witness and gossiping? I sure hope so. Sadly, I think there are people like that in every church.

 

[Marcia]

I would not do this, not only because of how it might taint my Christian witness, but it provides a place and means of temptation. Being friends with the opposite sex does not preclude this temptation, especially over time in close quarters.

I have a friend who used to eat lunch with a married Christian co-worker (she knew the wife as well) but she became convicted of this as a potentially bad situation and told him she could not eat with him anymore (unless others were with them).

I think it's better to err on the side of safety even if technically it might be okay.

 

[Joe]

Joe, was that lady disciplined or at least given a good talking to by the pastor for bearing false witness and gossiping? I sure hope so. Sadly, I think there are people like that in every church.

Amy, the lady was asked by Pastor spir of the moment, to go into the office. She arrived unaware.

My sister pinned her down, Pastor allowed it (almost seeming to enjoy it / be relieved). Sis told her it was none of her business how we relate, what our relationship is, etc...She usually ignores that stuff so it surprised me she began talking. Our Pastor is a very patient, caring and understanding man. Definately a Christian.

This lady was the head of the teen dept, but was recently demoted due to a problem so that was brought up as a possible motive. Though I don't know what that had to do w/me, I was only temporary anyway. And I offered to let her help me.

It was partially my fault for allowing my sister to hang on me, and sit on my lap at the restaurant but we were having fun horsing around. In this area, or maybe in California in general, pif/when someone openly repeats private info of this nature, it just makes them look bad. Most here don't listen to it, and stay away from them knowing they could be their next target. It's not politically correct.

If it was true, then you go to the person about it (christian or not)

I never heard of a church being affected by an accusation of this nature in our area, seems so old school. But our area may differ from Brother Bob's area and others here.
Friend of Spurgeon, I agree it's generally a good rule. I follow it and expect our teen to also.

My point was we should be balanced, take care of the gossips and talebearers also, which is quite clear scripturally. Heeding to their wickedness by making accusations regarding a grey area. Just my opinion.

 

[Brother Bob]

Amy, the lady was asked by Pastor spir of the moment, to go into the office. She arrived unaware.

My sister pinned her down, Pastor allowed it (almost seeming to enjoy it / be relieved). Sis told her it was none of her business how we relate, what our relationship is, etc...She usually ignores that stuff so it surprised me she began talking. Our Pastor is a very patient, caring and understanding man. Definately a Christian.

This lady was the head of the teen dept, but was recently demoted due to a problem so that was brought up as a possible motive. Though I don't know what that had to do w/me, I was only temporary anyway. And I offered to let her help me.

It was partially my fault for allowing my sister to hang on me, and sit on my lap at the restaurant but we were having fun horsing around. In this area, or maybe in California in general, pif/when someone openly repeats private info of this nature, it just makes them look bad. Most here don't listen to it, and stay away from them knowing they could be their next target. It's not politically correct.

If it was true, then you go to the person about it (christian or not)

I never heard of a church being affected by an accusation of this nature in our area, seems so old school. But our area may differ from Brother Bob's area and others here.
Friend of Spurgeon, I agree it's generally a good rule. I follow it and expect our teen to also.

My point was we should be balanced, take care of the gossips and talebearers also, which is quite clear scripturally. Heeding to their wickedness by making accusations regarding a grey area. Just my opinion.

It is not just you and me, it is God's church that you are representing and you have no right to bring reproach upon the church. I have heard some say, "well, it don't offend me", who cares, if it brings reproach on the church, then you are doing wrong. We are to upbuild God's church, not tear it down. If I had members do that and it was brought before the church, they would be very fortunate if they kept their membership, or at least set back for a period of time.

BBob,

 

[Joe]

It is not just you and me, it is God's church that you are representing and you have no right to bring reproach upon the church. I have heard some say, "well, it don't offend me", who cares, if it brings reproach on the church, then you are doing wrong. We are to upbuild God's church, not tear it down. If I had members do that and it was brought before the church, they would be very fortunate if they kept their membership, or at least set back for a period of time.

BBob,

Goodbye http://www.wolfeborobible.com/gossip.html

 

[donnA]

Some gossip just starts, someone didn't like the way you looked at them, or dressed today, some is out right lies, and some is about our actual actions we did, did we do something they based to gossip on, in other words were our actions godly, or did we earn the gossip. When people do things out of the way that start people gossiping it isn't just the gossiper who needs to be disciplined.

 

[Brother Bob]

Goodbye http://www.wolfeborobible.com/gossip.html

Unfortunantly you can "murder" a brother, without actually killing him physically.

BBob,:tear:

 

[Joe]

You are dishonest. Not only turn a blind eye, but perpetuate and feed into others committing sins unto death, encouragie throwing others out of church for no biblical reason (support)
I have corrected you numerous times, it was a misunderstanding, yet you plant a different story. Goodbye

 

[Joe]

Some gossip just starts, someone didn't like the way you looked at them, or dressed today, some is out right lies, and some is about our actual actions we did, did we do something they based to gossip on, in other words were our actions godly, or did we earn the gossip. When people do things out of the way that start people gossiping it isn't just the gossiper who needs to be disciplined.

Amen. When Matt 18 is followed, then there shouldn't be a problem.

 

[Jimmy Clifton]

Would Jesus have spent the night alone with Mary Magdalene in a cave or on a boat in the middle of the sea?

 

[donnA]

Donna your "black and white" cover all here doesn't work, it lacks common sense AND scriptural support.
I gave you one scinereo I can imagine this happening with my family. Yes, it would be godly of my wife to go on a free or very discounted vacation with our elderly male friend, whom has been so good to us for many years, we love him.
He is going blind. He cannot do things on his own. He is 84 ys old, can't see tv or read. He doesn't drive

It's not hard to figure out. You ignored the verses about busybodies and gossips. These people do not deserve our attention, nor do they deserve to control us with their wild imaginations.

You can decide for yourself what is right

Brother Bob quoted one verse in Titus in which the context is back in primitive days, not to mention the verse only applies to a specific type of widow (one whom has many other listed problems such as sensual behavor) and the widow must be within a certain age range.

Imho, it's a grey area

If you think it's alright for an unmarried woman, or even amrried woman(married to someone else) to spend the night in a man's bedroom, then have it. But it's ungodly.

 

[Joe]

If you think it's alright for an unmarried woman, or even amrried woman(married to someone else) to spend the night in a man's bedroom, then have it. But it's ungodly.

My personal views have been been posted a few times now Donna

Imo, in most circumstances, it's best not to stay overnight alone with the opposite sex yet each situation is different. It may or may not be sin. Just my opinion

Friend of Spurgeon, I agree it's generally a good rule. I follow it and expect our teen to also.