Should they back down without being persuaded by scripture first?
I don't believe it is systematically different perse`, but ideologically different regarding systematic theology. They both agree to the immutable truths of scripture but see them operating differently on a couple. This distinction is actually found not in the "L" or the "I" or the "U" (though U is actually agreed more than most think it is wording some disagree with) of the TULIP.
The main contention in all the above is simple based in one aspect. When is one born again, regenerated. All the other issues are based entirely from this one point.
The rest is much like our government, they wish you to focus on the issue that derive from the source problem (economy, deficit, ect..) and not the actual source of the issue - the government itself.
The vast majority of the disagreements come from this one main factor - when is one born again. If this would be studied out and set forth where others can listen to well thought our arguments and decide for themselves, it would remove much of the issues regarding the ideology of the various systematic theologies.
I have tried to engage many on th the board through a through study of this via threads I created, but it has always fallen short and never really engaged. Though many I have discussed it with many that hold to both sides and both agree, this is the crux of the entire issue in a nutshell.
The one difference is which occurs first, faith or regeneration? All Reformed/Calvinists believe a man must be regenerated to have the ability to believe, all non-Cals and Arminians believe a person must first believe before they can be regenerated.
Now as a non-Cal, I could show MANY verses that absolutely say a person first believes before being regenerated. Probably the most specific is John 20:31.
Jhn 20:31 But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God;
and that believing ye might have life through his name.
This verse is simple and straightforward. It says you must believe to have "life". Life is regeneration, the word regeneration simply means to be made alive again. This is what being born again is, being made alive again.
I could show many other verses that all say you must believe to have life, but one is enough.
This is the difference. No Reformed/Calvinist can show a single scripture that ever says a person must be regenerated in order to believe. Such a verse does not exist in all scripture. You cannot show it.
We will never be able to agree.
All the other differences hang on this one difference.