Featured Remarriage: A Healing Gift of God?

^^^This right here. I, too, am divorced; my first wife left me to pursue another relationship. Part of my recovery from that divorce was to ask "What did I do?" not in a pitying way, but to search how not to make the same mistake twice!
I remarried as well; my present wife is a divorcee whose ex was an unrepentant pedophile.
In the last year, my ex has finally come to her senses. While restoring the marriage was still not going to be an option on her end whether I'd remarried or not; reconciliation had occurred to the point where we took her in for a while after she was found to have breast cancer. She'd gone to another state to get away from the guy she left me for and was living with her brother and his wife; when she was diagnosed, she decided to come back here to be closer to our daughter.
I am not proud of my divorce, and should the Holy Spirit reveal any more wrong in me that contributed; I'll admit to it. I consider my present marriage a gift from God as well and a comfort.

 

I'm just trying to help you John. There is something you are ashamed of and won't let God deal with. Porn/lust etc is the obvious one. I see myself in you, the zeal, the drive etc, as well as the arrogance, the desire to be confirmed by others.

I know the path I've been down and I wouldn't wish it on anybody else.

 

Did you warn her about the seventh commandment?

 

Then what is the problem? Why do you try to hide your shame by boasting in your works?

eg.

"Sorry, I didn't get time to read such and such post/book because I've been out street preaching".

or

"I'll read it later, right now I'm going out street preaching".

For all we know, you could just be watching an R rated movie.

 

I can handle it. You are the one who will whining as usual in sort order.

 

If what I said is untrue, ignore it.

John, why are you ashamed? What in your life is holding you back from admitting your faults, and letting God and others help you. I would wager that if you actually opened up honestly and stopped hiding behind the Law, you might find a community here that would encourage you in Christ.

 

Finally had a chance to read this whole thing and I think its telling that you left of a few of the guidelines.

"4. The remarriage of the aggrieving, divorced spouse[You in this case] may be viewed as severing the former marriage so that the unmarried spouse [Your Wife] whose behavior did not biblically justify being divorced, may be free to remarry a believer (Matthew 19:9), if he or she has confessed all known sin in the divorce, and has made significant progress in overcoming any destructive behaviors and attitudes....

5. After serious efforts have been made toward reconciliation the aggrieved partners [Your Wife] referred to in guideline #3 may, together with the leadership of the church, come to regard their marriages as irreparably broken. In such cases remarriage may be a legitimate step, if taken with serious reckoning that this cuts off all possibility of a reconciliation that God may yet be willing to produce.

This guideline is for some of us the hardest concession to make. Remarriage after a divorced spouse marries again (see #4) at least has in its favor that the possibility of reconciliation was decisively cut off before. But while the spouse is still unmarried and alive reconciliation is still Biblically possible. This makes it very hard for some of us to condone a step that decisively cuts asunder what God meant to be permanent and which could yet be permanent (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).

6. The aggrieving partners [You again in this case] referred to in #3 (who were guilty of abandonment, adultery or abuse) should repent and be reconciled to God and to their spouses (1 Corinthians 7:11; 1 John 1:9). If it is too late because their spouses have remarried, then they should remain single because they left their first marriage without Biblical warrant (Matthew 19:9; Luke 16:18; 1 Corinthians 7:11)."

There are a few more guidelines but they are irrelevant to this situation. With everything you have told us about your marriage and subsequent divorce, this statement that John Piper's church has issued agrees with what everyone here has been saying, that you have no Biblical Standing to get remarried. You admit that you are the one that filed for the divorce. You admit that there was no sexual sin on her part. Therefore you abandoned her and should remain single per the very article you posted.

You have never been shy about throwing your wife under the bus on this board, which is why I don't believe for one second that you were in any kind of physical danger. I notice that every time you try to situation ethics your way out of this, you use generic stories, where the wife is being abused. When asked directly if you have been harmed, or had a gun to your head you refuse to answer. All of that leads me to the conclusion that you are blowing up disagreements, and church issues in your head to justify your sins of abandoning her, and breaking your vows.

 

For once, I actually took time to read something you reference. All I can say is you very selectively use what you like, even though your pulled out nuggets run contrary to the whole.

 

The choie in the case of physical abuse does not have to be divorce. It can be physical separation without divorce. One can remain physically separated, avoiding the violence, while seeking God's will in the matter.

 

When grace fails it is time to rely on legalism. Where in the holy writ does it say gentiles are are under the law or should look to the law for grace answers. Paul says Streight out gentiles were not under the law. How does this have any bearing in this issue?

We are told the rule in Jesus ministry was to the Jew first. With exception to this rule was a few Romans. When Jesus spoke about the D word it as to Jews. NOT to gentiles. When he speaks to Jews it is illustrative to fallen nature so they might see their need in terms of transformation of their hearts. His solution though applicable to both gentiles and Jews it is not law for a gentile.

It is my belief the rubric concerning divorce is not reflective of Grace and forgiveness. The mistaken position of our churches is simply a return to law and application of legalism. When we face divorce we should look at grace and forgiveness. When divorce concerns a couple they should rely on God for grace to bring transformation. If separation occurs it is not for us to revert to legalism and judge that, rather we need to give them our love.

The idea we have a right to judge is not in our preview. Titus and Timothy speak the idea of the husband of one and not more wives. I believe the original language bears out the idea of a man of one woman. Permitting? Is it this grace thinking.

 

What if the person who divorced has now remarries, does that now free the innocent party to remarry in the Lord?

 

Maybe because most of us believe in what Jesus and Paul stated on this issue more?

 

After Careful Five-Minute-Long Study, Woman Concludes Bible Supports Her Position

Thought this was appropriate, gotta love the babylonbee.

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