Ordered a copy of the book by this name on eBay and await to read it. But also came across another article.
A Statement on Divorce & Remarriage in the Life of Bethlehem Baptist Church | Desiring God
The Guidelines
1. A believer and unbeliever should not marry (
1 Cor. 7:39;
2 Cor. 6:14-15).
2. Since death breaks the marriage bond (
Rom. 7:2-3;
1 Cor. 7:39), remarriage is permissible without sin for a believing widow or widower, if the marriage is with another believer.
3. Divorce may be permitted when a spouse deserts the relationship, commits adultery,
or is dangerously abusive (
1 Cor. 7:15;
Matthew 19:9;
1 Cor. 7:11). [7] We are not here dealing with remarriage (see #4 and #5). We simply acknowledge that there are times when the Bible permits separation.
So even Piper when he wrote this article in 1989 acknowledges that divorce can be permissible for abuse. This is CONTRARY to what most of you believe. So explain yourself. Why are you right and why is Piper and Larry Richards wrong?
Finally had a chance to read this whole thing and I think its telling that you left of a few of the guidelines.
"4. The remarriage of the aggrieving, divorced spouse[You in this case] may be viewed as severing the former marriage so that the unmarried spouse [Your Wife] whose behavior did not biblically justify being divorced, may be free to remarry a believer (
Matthew 19:9), if he or she has confessed all known sin in the divorce, and has made significant progress in overcoming any destructive behaviors and attitudes....
5. After serious efforts have been made toward reconciliation the aggrieved partners [Your Wife] referred to in guideline #3 may, together with the leadership of the church, come to regard their marriages as irreparably broken. In such cases remarriage may be a legitimate step, if taken with serious reckoning that this cuts off all possibility of a reconciliation that God may yet be willing to produce.
This guideline is for some of us the hardest concession to make. Remarriage after a divorced spouse marries again (see #4) at least has in its favor that the possibility of reconciliation was decisively cut off before. But while the spouse is still unmarried and alive reconciliation is still Biblically possible. This makes it very hard for some of us to condone a step that decisively cuts asunder what God meant to be permanent and which could yet be permanent (
1 Corinthians 7:10-11).
6. The aggrieving partners [You again in this case] referred to in #3 (who were guilty of
abandonment, adultery or abuse) should repent and be reconciled to God and to their spouses (
1 Corinthians 7:11;
1 John 1:9). If it is too late because their spouses have remarried, then
they should remain single because they left their first marriage without Biblical warrant (
Matthew 19:9;
Luke 16:18;
1 Corinthians 7:11)."
There are a few more guidelines but they are irrelevant to this situation. With everything you have told us about your marriage and subsequent divorce, this statement that John Piper's church has issued agrees with what everyone here has been saying, that you have no Biblical Standing to get remarried. You admit that you are the one that filed for the divorce. You admit that there was no sexual sin on her part. Therefore you abandoned her and should remain single per the very article you posted.
You have never been shy about throwing your wife under the bus on this board, which is why I don't believe for one second that you were in any kind of physical danger. I notice that every time you try to situation ethics your way out of this, you use generic stories, where the wife is being abused. When asked directly if you have been harmed, or had a gun to your head you refuse to answer. All of that leads me to the conclusion that you are blowing up disagreements, and church issues in your head to justify your sins of abandoning her, and breaking your vows.
