20/20 response

LOL Amen!

haha..yowzers..that sounds like some daytime soap stuff haha..it sucks but the church is a house full of sinners..difference between us and the world is that we have hope in Jesus Christ's sacrifice ... but no one is perfect..instead of going and trying to attack a whole group of people for the mistakes of some boneheads, people need to learn from the mistakes, and learn to identify the signs and symptoms to keep it from happening again.

Teachers have affairs with students but that doesnt mean ALL teachers are child abusers...Catholic priests have molested children but that doesnt mean EVERY catholic priest a pedophile.

Pastors are not exempt..they are human beings that will fall, and for each fall, there is and/or SHOULD BE consequence..but dont group every other pastor under the same category..and dont say all IFB church members try to bury the pastor's mistakes..because thats just not true..

It just gets me mad that there are people that run their mouths.. and the lies that may come out of it will turn someone else away from Christ and a potentially good God-fearing church..

 

wowzers.. I just got a whole lesson on breeding bulldogs on a baptist board hehe.. cool beans..

They scare me...I'll stick to shih-tzu's...actually.. i think I want a bulldog..they're so cute :wavey:

 

So, for y'all who are so offended that your IFB church might get a bad rap, tell me, what exactly does your church do to prevent, treat, and discern abuse? Anybody can run a background check. Big deal. Tell me what your church does to protect others from abuse? What training and qualifications does your church provide to Sunday school teachers, deacons, elders, nursery workers, youth ministers, etc? What policies are written in your church records that indicate this training? What does your church do for victims of abuse if/when it is spotted? How does your church treat those who try to bring abuse to light? Are they automatically labeled as liars, troublemakers, or bitter, ungodly people who just need to learn to "forgive?"

 

Funny you mention that..we just had our safety meeting! This meeting was for ANYONE who's in a ministry that involves sunday school teachers, nursery, bus ministry, etc..

some of the things that are covered in these meetings include
physical contact.. we cant really hug and embrace the children..although the kids may come to us and hug us..we have to be very careful with our own hands..if any child has signs of abuse or discloses anything with us about something going on at home we HAVE to notify our pastor and/or authorities..if we know something and we don't say it, we can actually get into legal issues (i definitely did not know that before the meeting)
..and if someone sees something thats not right we need to notify church administrators/pastor/deacons etc...we also have these reports we need to fill out for anything and everything that occurs....

 

It's been my experience that:
Marines say "Oorah."
Army says "Hoorah."
Navy generally says "Hooyah."

Me and my Air Force brethren are guilty of saying, "Who? Wha?"

 

Sounds very much like our meeting we have before VBS every year.
I am only in the music ministry the rest of the time, so I am sure that the Sunday School teachers and others have the same rules. We are not allowed to be alone with any one child at any time - all this stems from all the lawsuits in the world now, not based on any incidents that happened at our church.

Debbie Mc

 

I have worked at the police dept here for 25 years. A background check can be ran by anyone, but must be paid for, and juvenile records are sealed.

A background check at our dept will not state specifically what the charges were unless there is a disposition of the case in the file also.

 

Whoops; my bad. :laugh:

 

Thank you MamaCW for speaking the truth. It's a small world, isn't it.

 

lol yeah it is..but then again its always a small world within a specific category..

I just think people need to be honest with themselves and with others..and stop being haters..

i was in a 4 year relationship with this guy before i married my husband and there were many many many great times and moments we had together..but we also had very bad times..and as i look back now..its really hard for me to remember the good times..but the bad times stick out as clear as day...

people hear all this trash talk on IFB and they aren't going to remember how many great missionaries we have all over the world winning people to Christ who may have never heard of JEsus or who did but grew up in a different mindset..they aren't going to remember all the kids that were picked up to come to church that came from broken homes but despite those odds grew up to be loving husbands and fathers and leaders in their communities..nope..they're going to remember "isn't it those IFB people who molested those girls and tried to brush it under the rug"? Isn't it those IFB people who always wear the long dresses that go up to their necks (thats what that girl said on there.. and I dont wear long dresses that go up to my neck..i think i dress very cute in fact..and well dress cuter when i drop all this baby weight lol..)...its easier to remember the bad things/times and this 20/20 thing just contributed to that..thats my irritation with this whole topic..

i'll be the first person to tell you just because you are IFB doesnt make you spiritually superior to ANYONE..even Jesus didnt consider himself superior to anyone..he came as a servant..duh.. and covering things up will never solve a problem..the bible itself says that all that is done in the dark will come to light..those people who covered up this stuff she tape that verse to their foreheads..

 

<<I'll be the first person to tell you just because you are IFB doesn't make you spiritually superior to ANYONE>>

And I will be the second....:thumbs:

My preference is IFB because I find the churches to be the most like the original N.T. church in the way missionaries are supported and the manner of Berean study.

My church is a warm, active, loving, and friendly place. I challenge anyone who has an antiquated view of IFB to visit and find out. No abuse is tolerated or overlooked - but neither are false accusations condoned.

Debbie Mc

 

Please define who is being a "hater" and what "hate" do you see on this thread, and what do you define as "trash talk" here?

 

lol..fyi i was talking about anybody and everybody who wants to bash the IFB name just because of a small group ....again thats ANYBODY..ANYWHERE..i'm not limiting that to just this post/thread or forum....

the definition of a hater is ANYONE who hates but yeah..it also is used (and this is the way I was using it) with my generation as a description of just someone who resents, disapproves, dislikes etc..and thats anyone who fits in that category when discussing IFB's as is being done on this thread

and my definition of trash talking ..is stating things that is just junk..nonsense..slander..gossip..demeaning..belittling...judgmental..ignorant..biased..the list goes on..

 

Well said, the whole post! And of course as a missionary I like what you said about IFB missions the most. :applause: We IFBs are actively trying to win the world to Christ, I think more per capita than any other Protestant group in America.

I have read that overall evangelical missionaries are decreasing in number. However, we IFB missionaries are still increasing in number and have been since probably the late 1950s, when some major mission boards were started.

 

If you ever find the perfect church, don't go there, you'll mess it up.

 

MamaCW, there is a big difference between "trash talking" and bringing the truth of sin out into the light.

I realize that on this thread and the previous one that was mercifully closed, I made comments that some believed were aimed at ALL IFBs and accusing to all IFBs in general. I want to apologize for offending anyone here who is truly trying to live a godly life. I do not wish to portray ALL IFBs as monsters, child molesters, and wife abusers simply because that is all I've ever seen and all I've ever known in the many, many churches I've attended that were IFB. There is a slight possibility that some of you are not guilty of this and you are innocent until proven guilty.

On the other hand, I'd like to explain how the reactions of some of you have caused me much grief. Maybe, in your ignorance, you do not understand what it is like to be abused, indoctrinated, judged, and repressed until you become a walking shell of a person.

Many of the comments here want to deny your churches are even capable of such, and I'm here to tell you, YES THEY ARE. You personally might be deceived, as many were by my own parents, and do not believe your precious friends capable of such. Maybe you are blinded by your own self-righteousness. I don't know. I do know that for healing to begin, you must admit there is a problem, and several of you here do not want to believe that. You don't want to hear it or deal with it. You want to distance yourselves from the problem and say it doesn't exist, or is rare. I'm telling you, it DOES exist and the consequences are damaging for those who experience it. As long as IFB preachers and colleges are teaching that men are the ULTIMATE authority, women should put up with abuse to be "submissive" etc. there is the potential for great harm. That potential is expanded by the lack of accountability in IFB churches.

Not a single one of you here, except for Don, has indicated any interest in HELPING victims of this abuse. You've all yelled about how wonderful your churches are and how hard you are trying to serve God. You've called me bitter and basically told me to shut up simply for trying to bring sin to light. It doesn't matter to me all the GOOD that you've done. Show some LOVE and admit you can do more to prevent abuse and protect the innocent. Show me some humility and compassion and maybe I'll care about all your good works.

If any of you are really ready to admit that maybe, just maybe, you or your church is overlooking abuse, I'll be happy to help give you some guidelines of things to look for to help others.

Until then, I'm done trying to convince you that you aren't as perfect as you think. Some of you have no idea that you're actually adding to the pain of others by your careless, judgmental, defensive attitudes. I love you all, but I pray God will open your eyes to the truth before more people, like myself, are severely damaged by IFB churches.

 

<<If any of you are really ready to admit that maybe, just maybe, you or your church is overlooking abuse, I'll be happy to help give you some guidelines of things to look for to help others>>

I am not interested in admitting to abuse I am not aware of or am not involved in...and/or have not witnessed. I have hundreds of hours of training in reference to various types of abuse through my 25 year law enforcement employment AND after being on the local domestic violence/sexual assault hotline when I was backslidden and not attending church. (I say that because I don't have time for secular activities now, I am involved in ministries at church these days.)

I sincerely will continue to pray for you....that your heart will finally heal and that you will find the peace that passeth all understanding through Jesus our Lord.

 

I am so sorry that my comments earlier in the thread came across as hurtful or non-caring. That was certainly not my intention.