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Bad Advice Only

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by fluke, Nov 13, 2008.

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  1. FlyForFun

    FlyForFun New Member

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    Set up claymores with tripwires and see which survives.

    How do I get red wine stains out of my white SBC polo shirt?
     
    #181 FlyForFun, Aug 29, 2009
  2. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Light up a joint and dab it on the POLO Shirt.



    My church deacons want the organ on the one side, but the women's auxilary wants it on the other side. What should I do?
     
    #182 SaggyWoman, Aug 29, 2009
  3. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Don't have an organ. Form a band instead.

    Bwahahahahahaha.

    My mother in law is giving me a headache because of her constant yakking. What should I do?
     
    #183 SaggyWoman, Nov 7, 2009
  4. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    She's endangered. Protect her at any cost.

    madre says, "How about them Yankees." is an inappropriate invocation for the service tomorrow. Any suggestions?
     
    #184 padredurand, Nov 7, 2009
  5. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Just be thankful that the final world series game is not being played during church service



    When should I announce that I am running against BO in 2012? And which political party(ies) should I run on?
     
    #185 Salty, Nov 7, 2009
  6. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    You should announce it on Pearl Harbor Day, and run in the Asian Commaraderie Coalition party.

    Really? Seriously?

    I have a bone stuck in my throat. What should I do?
     
    #186 SaggyWoman, Nov 10, 2009
  7. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    I would say get a vacume cleaner and suck it out.


    I keep leaving things at my church down in Penna, - how do I stop forgetting things
    salty

    PS, I hope I didnt leave my drivers license there this weekend
     
    #187 Salty, Sep 19, 2010
  8. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Always go back to K-Mart and get another one.

    I tried to watch two football games and the NASCAR race at the same time this afternoon. madre kept yammering through the whole thing. Tonight she shuts off the Colts/Giants game and says I don't listen to her. What can I do to get madre to sit down and shut up during the game. She's got me uninterrupted all day Tuesday....
     
    #188 padredurand, Sep 19, 2010
  9. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Shoot her and duct tape her arms to the chair with knitting needles attached.



    How can I deal with baseball season coming to an end?
     
    #189 SaggyWoman, Sep 20, 2010
  10. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94 Active Member

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    Go check yourself into a mental health facility until next season.

    How can I cook dinner, clean house, school the children, feed the dog, and still take a nap at the same time?
     
    #190 abcgrad94, Sep 23, 2010
  11. SBCPreacher

    SBCPreacher Active Member
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    Let the dog cook dinner, have the kids clean the house and call it Home Ec. Now, go take a nap!

    How do you mend a broken heart?
     
    #191 SBCPreacher, Sep 23, 2010
  12. tinytim

    tinytim <img src =/tim2.jpg>

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    Get a mistress for Pocadots!

    How can I get rid of my wife's rolling pin?
     
    #192 tinytim, Sep 23, 2010
  13. Steven2006

    Steven2006 New Member

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    Take up wood carving.

    How can I complete everything on my to do list?
     
    #193 Steven2006, Sep 23, 2010
  14. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Just mark it off like you have already done it.


    I have been offered two jobs, one which I have already accepted. The one I haven't pays more. What should I do?
     
    #194 SaggyWoman, Sep 23, 2010
  15. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Buy the company and give yourself a pay raise


    I told my wife I want to hook up Dish and Direct TV to our sets. (We already have cable) Please advise
     
    #195 Salty, Sep 23, 2010
  16. 4ever4Jesus

    4ever4Jesus New Member

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    My advice is getting the satellite and keeping the cable also. The wife is going to get really mad. Then next watch the programs she does not like. Just make sure she won’t hand you a divorce paper hahaha.

    If I were at the store and the cashier gave me 20 dollars less than I should have gotten after looking at my receipt what should I do?
     
    #196 4ever4Jesus, Sep 29, 2010
  17. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    tell your wife you lost it at the horse races


    My wife wants me to go out and start her car when the tempature is 10 below zero - how do I get out of it
     
    #197 Salty, Sep 30, 2010
  18. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Set fire to the car.

    I have to go to work, and it is a half hour away. I took a nap, and woke up 20 minutes prior to work. What should I do?
     
    #198 SaggyWoman, Oct 1, 2010
  19. 4ever4Jesus

    4ever4Jesus New Member

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    "How about this?”

    I have a good idea. Call the boss and say. Hey didn’t you realize we set our clocks an hour back. Drive to work and say. Look Boss. I’m getting better I’m really early to work on time :laugh::laugh:

    Here is my question

    You’re driving on a road about a mountain and of trees near by. It’s starting to get dark and you get a flat tire. No phones are near by. And you don’t have a cell phone either. What advise would you give me as I am stuck on the road with a flat tire?
     
    #199 4ever4Jesus, Oct 3, 2010
  20. GFlanagan3

    GFlanagan3 Member

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    since only PART of the tire is flat drive on the part that isn't flat


    How do I please everyone in church?
     
    #200 GFlanagan3, Oct 20, 2010
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