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Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by fluke, Nov 13, 2008.

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  1. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Become an Episcopalian.

    madre says she's going to a White Elephant sale. I don't know why she'd want a white elephant. She don't even like to walk the dog for crying out loud. How do I let her down gently and say NO!
     
    #201 padredurand, Oct 20, 2010
  2. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
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    Assert your authority, brother!! Get in her face, wag your finger even, raise your voice to the loudest manly decibel and PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN! After the paramedics peel the frying pan off of your face, you'll feel good knowing that you did the right thing. :flower:

    My computer is amazingly, angrifyingly SLOOOOOW!!
     
    #202 Scarlett O., Oct 20, 2010
  3. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Put it next to a turtle


    Mrs. Salty doesnt want me to use her office as a temporay strorage while I clean my office
     
    #203 Salty, Oct 20, 2010
  4. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
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    Then that means you don't have to clean your office - EVER. :tongue3: :tonofbricks:


    I need to dust and vacuum my house today. I don't want to.
     
    #204 Scarlett O., Oct 20, 2010
  5. GFlanagan3

    GFlanagan3 Member

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    Strap cleaning materials (dusting rags and so forth) to the dog and a steak and small vacccume to the cat. Let them run through the house voila...."cleanned"

    How do I know my diary is telling the truth?
     
    #205 GFlanagan3, Oct 20, 2010
  6. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Write in your diary for the day after, then live that out.

    What do I do when my back hurts?
     
    #206 SaggyWoman, Nov 2, 2010
  7. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Slam your hand in the car door. You won't even notice the back pain.

    Is a dozen donuts considered a single serving?
     
    #207 padredurand, Nov 2, 2010
  8. GFlanagan3

    GFlanagan3 Member

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    It depends on who you are serving. You can always keep halving them and then they'd be more servings or eat them in one feel swoop.

    How do I explain the term 'apartments' whe they are obvioisly together?
     
    #208 GFlanagan3, Nov 3, 2010
  9. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    The same way you explain automobile, when you have to drive it.

    I don't want to go sleep on a couch with relatives for Thanksgiving. How should I bow out?
     
    #209 SaggyWoman, Nov 18, 2010
  10. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Tell them your hearing aid battery is dead, so you need to play the TV really, really, really loud.

    I want to take Fri off to buy some gifts for Mrs. Salty, what should I tell my boss? (@ 3 am)
     
    #210 Salty, Dec 23, 2010
  11. Arbo

    Arbo Active Member
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    "I can't make it in today. I have consumerism."

    All the dishes are dirty and I'm out of detergent. I'm supposed to have dinner ready in ten minutes. What do I do?
     
    #211 Arbo, Dec 23, 2010
  12. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Do you have a dog? He can do the dishes (lick, lick,lick) while you order the pizzas. Short on cash? You could try hot dogs cut up in boxed mac and cheese - fancy poor food. :laugh:

    I haven't started Christmas shopping yet. Gift suggestions anyone?
     
    #212 padredurand, Dec 24, 2010
  13. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Re-wrap last years gifts that were never opened/used.


    I just have potted meat, spam, and bread in the house because I forgot to shop. What should I bring (pot luck) to the Christmas gathering?
     
    #213 SaggyWoman, Dec 24, 2010
  14. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    POT luck - POTted meat. Hello?! I'd never share my Spam; even for a pot luck supper.

    madre says, "No kitchen appliances for Christmas!" Anyone have something girly to trade for a brand new toaster oven? :tonofbricks:
     
    #214 padredurand, Dec 24, 2010
  15. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    How about 3 clips for potato chip bags?

    I want my boss to double my pay, how should I approach her?
     
    #215 Salty, Dec 24, 2010
  16. Arbo

    Arbo Active Member
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    Ask her out, then tell her if you had a raise you'd be able to pay.

    It's snowing again, and I'm tired of shoveling the driveway.
     
    #216 Arbo, Dec 24, 2010
  17. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Tell your wife to do it.

    The oil needs to be changed in my car. What should I do?
     
    #217 SaggyWoman, Dec 27, 2010
  18. padredurand

    padredurand Well-Known Member
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    Nothing. Arbo's wife will get it as soon as she's done shoveling.

    Work is interfering with my social life. What to do?
     
    #218 padredurand, Dec 28, 2010
  19. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Move in with Padre, his church pays him about 200 grand a year, so him and Madre will give you free room and board. Should free up a lot $$$

    I want to co-host for Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh
     
    #219 Salty, Dec 28, 2010
  20. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Get someone to go in with you, and you can call your show "The View".

    I think I am pregnant. What should I do?
     
    #220 SaggyWoman, Dec 29, 2010
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