Become an Episcopalian.
madre says she's going to a White Elephant sale. I don't know why she'd want a white elephant. She don't even like to walk the dog for crying out loud. How do I let her down gently and say NO!
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Bad Advice Only
- Thread starter fluke
- Start date
Become an Episcopalian.
madre says she's going to a White Elephant sale. I don't know why she'd want a white elephant. She don't even like to walk the dog for crying out loud. How do I let her down gently and say NO!
Assert your authority, brother!! Get in her face, wag your finger even, raise your voice to the loudest manly decibel and PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN! After the paramedics peel the frying pan off of your face, you'll feel good knowing that you did the right thing. :flower:
My computer is amazingly, angrifyingly SLOOOOOW!!
Put it next to a turtle
Mrs. Salty doesnt want me to use her office as a temporay strorage while I clean my office
Then that means you don't have to clean your office - EVER. :tongue3: :tonofbricks:
I need to dust and vacuum my house today. I don't want to.
GFlanagan3
Member
Strap cleaning materials (dusting rags and so forth) to the dog and a steak and small vacccume to the cat. Let them run through the house voila...."cleanned"
How do I know my diary is telling the truth?
SaggyWoman
Active Member
Write in your diary for the day after, then live that out.
What do I do when my back hurts?
What do I do when my back hurts?
Slam your hand in the car door. You won't even notice the back pain.
Is a dozen donuts considered a single serving?
GFlanagan3
Member
It depends on who you are serving. You can always keep halving them and then they'd be more servings or eat them in one feel swoop.
How do I explain the term 'apartments' whe they are obvioisly together?
SaggyWoman
Active Member
The same way you explain automobile, when you have to drive it.
I don't want to go sleep on a couch with relatives for Thanksgiving. How should I bow out?
I don't want to go sleep on a couch with relatives for Thanksgiving. How should I bow out?
Tell them your hearing aid battery is dead, so you need to play the TV really, really, really loud.
I want to take Fri off to buy some gifts for Mrs. Salty, what should I tell my boss? (@ 3 am)
"I can't make it in today. I have consumerism."
All the dishes are dirty and I'm out of detergent. I'm supposed to have dinner ready in ten minutes. What do I do?
Do you have a dog? He can do the dishes (lick, lick,lick) while you order the pizzas. Short on cash? You could try hot dogs cut up in boxed mac and cheese - fancy poor food. :laugh:
I haven't started Christmas shopping yet. Gift suggestions anyone?
SaggyWoman
Active Member
Re-wrap last years gifts that were never opened/used.
I just have potted meat, spam, and bread in the house because I forgot to shop. What should I bring (pot luck) to the Christmas gathering?
POT luck - POTted meat. Hello?! I'd never share my Spam; even for a pot luck supper.
madre says, "No kitchen appliances for Christmas!" Anyone have something girly to trade for a brand new toaster oven? :tonofbricks:
How about 3 clips for potato chip bags?
I want my boss to double my pay, how should I approach her?
SaggyWoman
Active Member
Nothing. Arbo's wife will get it as soon as she's done shoveling.
Work is interfering with my social life. What to do?
Move in with Padre, his church pays him about 200 grand a year, so him and Madre will give you free room and board. Should free up a lot $$$
I want to co-host for Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh
SaggyWoman
Active Member
Get someone to go in with you, and you can call your show "The View".
I think I am pregnant. What should I do?
I think I am pregnant. What should I do?