Bad Advice Only

[Salty]

I can't go to sleep. What can I do?

Count the posts of Dr Bob


My wife refuses to reset the clocks for Daysavings time?

 

[mont974x4]

Walk around all day talking about things as if they happened an hour ago.


Should I eat "C" Rat's?

 

[SaggyWoman]

Only in the fall.


My friend is interested in on line dating. How can I help.

 

[mont974x4]

sign him up for eharmony without telling him



should I reroof my house using composite deck material?

 

[Salty]

should I reroof my house using composite deck material?

No, I think you should keep politics out of it.


How soon will this thread get to 500 posts?

 

[SaggyWoman]

Let's all post at one time and find out.


My neighbor has bigger weeds in his yard than I do. What should I do?

 

[mont974x4]

Water your weeds more.




How do you get the smell of burned macaroni and cheese and melted plastic out of your house?

 

[convicted1]

Water your weeds more.




How do you get the smell of burned macaroni and cheese and melted plastic out of your house?

Burn down your house, and build a new one.


My wife is shaking a rolling pin @ me. What should I do?

 

[mont974x4]

lean into it so she gets a solid hit, it would hurt her self image if she missed.


I have had about 2 months of guitar lessons. Should I try to buy one of Jimi Hendrix's guitars and play it for our church?

 

[convicted1]

lean into it so she gets a solid hit, it would hurt her self image if she missed.


I have had about 2 months of guitar lessons. Should I try to buy one of Jimi Hendrix's guitars and play it for our church?

Yes. But only buy one of the ones he set on fire while on stage. They'd be closer to your skill level.

Wifey's asleep. Should I dare wake her up?

 

[SaggyWoman]

No, but go turn the game on very loudly and beat some pots.


My allergies are causing nasal drainage in my stomach. How can I help my stomach?

 

[convicted1]

No, but go turn the game on very loudly and beat some pots.


My allergies are causing nasal drainage in my stomach. How can I help my stomach?

Quit swallowing the drainage?

I have a cat that won't meow. What can I do to make it meow?

 

[SaggyWoman]

Set fire to its tail.


My roof leaks. How should I get it fixed?

 

[jilphn1022]

duct tape to the rescue!


my husband won't let me cut my hair.

 

[mont974x4]

get one of those caps that make you look bald




I'm out of bleach

 

[SaggyWoman]

Use Kerosene instead.


I am tired of sitting here waiting on clients. What to do?

 

[mont974x4]

Go to a lunch rave



My 8 year old wants to sky dive with my bride and I.

 

[Palatka51]

The next time NASA launches a rocket, tie the child to it.



My wife lost her glasses and she is not due a prescription until June.

 

[mont974x4]

Buy her a moleman costume.



My dog is shedding.

 

[SaggyWoman]

My dog is shedding.

Tape the hair back on.


My hair was cut too short.