Bad Advice Only

[plain_n_simple]

Sell your car and give the money to the party you are in opposition to.

Should I change my 401k?

 

[Salty]

Should I change my 401k?

Yes, put it into a stock option of the Franklin Automobile Company

How do I go about Selling a Ford to President Obama?

 

[SaggyWoman]

Stand out in front of it holding a sign. He will buy it.

How do I quit making my neck hurt?

 

[jilphn1022]

Stand out in front of it holding a sign. He will buy it.

How do I quit making my neck hurt?

I usually try to remove anything that hurts me! I had a stone in one of my shoes and I took off my shoe and removed the stone from my shoe and presto the pain was gone! so remove what hurts you!


How do you get rid of a staying-too-long-guest from your home ?

 

[mont974x4]

unleash your ant farm on them


How do I get BBQ sauce stains out of my beard?

 

[Salty]

unleash your ant farm on them


How do I get BBQ sauce stains out of my beard?

Go thur a car wash


We live in a trailer park - at the moment the master bedroom is in the back, but we want it to face the road. What should we do?

 

[mont974x4]

Go thur a car wash


We live in a trailer park - at the moment the master bedroom is in the back, but we want it to face the road. What should we do?

remove the wheel chocks.





My son wants to be a fiddler but we can only find violins for sale.

 

[Salty]

My son wants to be a fiddler but we can only find violins for sale.

Have him call Radar at the 4077 M*A*S*H. He can find anything.


Monty wants to purchase a professional sports team - what team should he buy

 

[jilphn1022]

Have him call Radar at the 4077 M*A*S*H. He can find anything.


Monty wants to purchase a professional sports team - what team should he buy

Buy the team that has a long history of losing games!



Does anyone know how to choose the best candidate for the presidency?

 

[mont974x4]

Pick the one with best hair.




I am right handed and learning to play the guitar. Should I learn to play left handed so that people will think its a miracle?

 

[SaggyWoman]

I am right handed and learning to play the guitar. Should I learn to play left handed so that people will think its a miracle?

Only if you put on an Edward Scissorhands glove.

I recently had my ingrown toenails cut out. How can I stop the temporary pain?

 

[mont974x4]

soak your toes in alcohol to kill any fungus....if you use high quality brandy you can then drink it.



Should I dye more of my goatee gray?

 

[Salty]

Should I dye more of my goatee gray?

Beards (including goatees ) are not allowed on BB -
I suggest you go to another Forum and ask such a heritical question


I have a flat tire on my car- what should I do?

 

[convicted1]

Beards (including goatees ) are not allowed on BB -
I suggest you go to another Forum and ask such a heritical question


I have a flat tire on my car- what should I do?

Flatten the other three so you'll have a matching set.

My neighbor walks with a limp. What can I do to help him?

 

[Speedpass]

Buy him a skateboard.
I'm getting tired of muting my TV every time there's a commercial break. What else can I do to avoid the monotony?

 

[mont974x4]

Buy him a skateboard.
I'm getting tired of muting my TV every time there's a commercial break. What else can I do to avoid the monotony?

Buy your own skateboard.



Should I use a brillo pad to clean my brides expedition?

 

[convicted1]

Buy your own skateboard.



Should I use a brillo pad to clean my brides expedition?

Only if you're really trying for a quickie divorce....


My wife calls me lazy, what can I do?

 

[mont974x4]

take your naps at the neighbors house


should you buy a hairless cat a toupee

 

[SaggyWoman]

Yes. And glue it on.


The library wants to close. I don't want to leave.

 

[convicted1]

Yes. And glue it on.


The library wants to close. I don't want to leave.

When the libriarian confronts you, look @ her and say "Shhhh!"


I can't go to sleep. What can I do?