PreachTony
Active Member
You're on the U.P...just wait...Winter is Coming.
I tihnk one of the keys is jammed on my keyboard. It's the qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq
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Bad Advice Only
- Thread starter fluke
- Start date
You're on the U.P...just wait...Winter is Coming.
I tihnk one of the keys is jammed on my keyboard. It's the qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq
Turn your keyboard upside down and smack it 3 times with a hammer.
˙pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ʎɯ ɥʇıʍ pɹıǝʍ sɯǝǝs buıɥʇǝɯos ʍou 'ǝʞoɹq ʇ’uıɐ ɟı buıɥʇǝɯos buıxıɟ ʇou ɟo ǝɔıʌpɐ ǝɥʇ ʇobɹoɟ ı
PreachTony
Active Member
SaggyWoman
Active Member
Get some silly putty and jam it in your ear as well. It should catch the tack so you can pull it out.
I have a horrid rash in a bad place. How can I overcome the pain?
I have a horrid rash in a bad place. How can I overcome the pain?
convicted1
Guest
Take a hammer and whack both big toes and your left thumb, put some chewed bubble gum in your hair and then brush your hair, and then wax you eyebrows completely off. You won't feel the pain of your rash afterwards. Problem solved. You can donate to your favorite charity in my name for my payment.
Gravel truck stuck in my front yard...
Charge them rent
Should I sue the US Marine Corps, based on age discrimination for not allowing me to enlist, just because I am over 50?
PreachTony
Active Member
Get some silly putty and jam it in your eye as well. It should catch the stye so you can pull it out.
My gravel truck is stuck in some guy's front yard and he's trying to charge me rent...
Go see Judge Judy
Even though I'm trying to join the Marines, some Navy recruiter is trying to pull me into his office - and I like to sleep with the windows open
PreachTony
Active Member
Explain your brilliant idea of putting a screen door on every submarine in the fleet. If that fails, then explain that you can't get on a boat with sea-sickness pills and a rubber duckie.
I now have a thumbtack and a wad of silly putty stuck in my ear...
convicted1
Guest
Go on Dr. Phil. He can get to the root of the problem of why the thumbtack and silly putty are stuck in your ear...
I am charging $350.00/day to the guy(he's an over-the-hill ex-marine who got discharged because he put screens on a submarine) whose dumptruck is stuck in my yard, but he's only willing to pay $3.50. What do I need to do?
PreachTony
Active Member
Forgive his debts as you forgive his trespasses...
I got the thumbtack out, so Yay! But then my dog ate the silly putty with the thumbtack in it...
SaggyWoman
Active Member
This, too, shall pass.
I think I ate something Yesterday and I itch all over today. How do I make it stop?
I think I ate something Yesterday and I itch all over today. How do I make it stop?
Go see Urkle on Family Matters; tell him how good looking he is - and ask to use his time machine.
a girl likes me a whole lot - but she is not good looking - what can I do.
convicted1
Guest
Look in the mirror first, before you refuse to go out with her....
A man ran me off the road and is now coming towards me shaking both fists...
Take off both or your wooden legs - then you will have the upper hand
I Looked in the mirror first, before I was going to refuse to go out with her.... and the mirror broke - what do I do?
convicted1
Guest
The handyman's secret weapon...duct tape. "Red Green"
I took my wooden legs off and threw them at him and now he has them. I can't run. What next??
SaggyWoman
Active Member
Throw up your hands and see if that helps. And don't drag your butt.
It's cold outside and I have to leave and go home. What to do?
convicted1
Guest
Stick your head in a deep freezer for 30 minutes so that when you step outside it feels really warm.....
Can't stop the hiccups and water and holding my breath for 10 seconds don't work...
SaggyWoman
Active Member
Stick your head in a deep freezer for 30 minutes. That should do it.
I hate children and I work with them for a living. Help!!