Bad Advice Only

[thisnumbersdisconnected]

Quit work.

Plethora of bad carpenters. Dearth of good ones ...

 

[Carolina Baptist]

Hold on while I look up Plethora and Dearth
Have your house built by an electrician.


Roof Leaks

 

[SaggyWoman]

Get Jethro Bodine to fix it.

I need free wifi. What should I do?

 

[Carolina Baptist]

Move next door to McDonalds.


Pulled a muscle in my back working on the roof.

 

[thisnumbersdisconnected]

Call that electrician you wanted me to use to build a house ... get back on the roof to help him and wrench your back in the opposite direction ...

Dang clover keeps coming back up even though I've sprayed it three or four times this summer!

 

[Carolina Baptist]

Spray it with Gasoline and light the fire.

Just saw a Zaxby's commercial but it's too late to eat out.

 

[convicted1]

Go and eat in...out of your neighbor's fridge....



Neighbor's cat keeps appearing on my porch...

 

[Carolina Baptist]

Throw cat food in the yard on the other side of your neighbor.


Neighbor's dog leaves a "deposit" next to my roll out trashcan.

 

[SaggyWoman]

Throw the cat, the neighbor's Dog, the deposit, and the roll out trash can over the fence of your neighbor's yard.

I want to ride the bus but it stops running soon.

 

[Carolina Baptist]

Throw the cat, the neighbor's Dog, the deposit, and the roll out trash can over the fence of your neighbor's yard.

I want to ride the bus but it stops running soon.

Hitch Hike.



Hole in the yard keeps getting bigger. Looks like a sink hole. :tonofbricks:

 

[Salty]

Hole in the yard keeps getting bigger. Looks like a sink hole. :tonofbricks:

Get out the golf clubs


I want to go to the New York State Fair tomorrow, but it ends today.

 

[Carolina Baptist]

I want to go to the New York State Fair tomorrow, but it ends today.

Go to the fair anyway. Shorter lines.


Yellow jackets in the yard have a second entrance to the nest.

 

[SaggyWoman]

Run over the nest with a lawnmower. Then they won't need an entrance.

My butt itches.

 

[Salty]

My butt itches.

Ask the deacons in your church


what is the easiest way to get free cable

 

[Carolina Baptist]

Go to jail. Free TV and plenty of time to watch.

Coyotes in the neighborhood.

 

[SaggyWoman]

Have your Chihuahua take them out.


There are too many groceries in my fridge.

 

[Carolina Baptist]

There are too many groceries in my fridge.

Cookout at Saggy's house!!! :thumbsup:


Transmission trouble. :BangHead:

 

[Salty]

Transmission trouble. :BangHead:

Buy a Bicycle


I want to run for President of the United States this November

 

[Carolina Baptist]

I want to run for President of the United States this November

Good year for it - less competition.


I need a faster internet but cable doesn't run by my house.

 

[SaggyWoman]

Stretch a cable from all your neighbors. Or sit outside a store that has Wiffy. All night.



My hair needs cutting.