Recently, I made a post detailing some of the struggles I have been going through recently. As some of you know, I am going through an amicable divorce that was requested by my wife. I felt lost and did not know how I could ever feel right with God knowing that I broke my vows and knowing that I am causing her to commit adultery if she ever remarries. Sins that are so egregious that, even though I profess Christ as my savior, I cannot possibly have ever been regenerated by God and predestined to salvation.
I recently attempted to reach out to two well-known Calvinist theologians for spiritual advice, and it seems that they wanted to dismiss my cries for help and have my local church deal with it. That hurt me. I felt the need to reexamine why I'm experiencing such hopelessness.
Could it be that God really is not willing for any to perish, but for all to come to repentance? Could it be that God wants all people to be saved and come to know the truth? If He does, then I have comfort knowing that forgiveness is available for me. If not, then I have no reason to believe that I'm one of the elect and might as well give up my faith entirely.
