I will try to answer your questions to the best of my ability. I am not as well spoken as some here, though. Bear with me
I'll give you an analogy. My son wants to see a movie. I give him a choice of a few to see. Since he's not 16, I drive him and his friend to the theater, give him money for tickets and popcorn, and pick him up when it is over. I was completely sovereign over his whole moviegoing experience, while he freely chose which movie he wanted to see (remember, a choice involves 2 or more options...not one like calvinism teaches).
Obedience is not forced. He has determined those who come to Him in faith are saved.
You start with a false presuppostion that all have not had the Truth presented at some point. What does Romans 1 say? Romans 3?
First thing I do is put it into the proper context. Romans 9 - 11 is dealing with God's plan for Israel, not personal salvation as is often taught. Knowing this context, the text in qustion is dealing with God's sovereign choice of one nation over another. Remember, Genesis 25:23 states "there are two
nations in your womb"
Fist, Romans 1 states there are two kinds of people...those who have accepted the Truth, and those who rejected the Truth. That is more than enough "chance". There is no group in between without ever having the chance.
Second, God's love and God's justice are not interwoven. God is also righteous. Does He love all men? Yes, Scripture states just that. It's not God's plan that they must not be born again, as 2 Peter 3:9 attests to. Is He just for allowing them to die in their sins? Absolutely, because they rejected Him.