I don't know the true answer. I know that I believe no matter what once/if my son accepts christ as his saviour then he will need to be baptised. Whether or not he is baptised as a baby.
The problem is I can't tell my wife that because she never had a second baptism. So she won't appreciate me telling her that she needs to be baptised too.
I don't know if I believe it will be damaging to my son or that god will punish me for having him baptised now.
No body appreciates being told they are wrong about something.
The truth of the matter is your wife does need to be biblically baptized. Her infant baptism didn’t count.
If I could just be frank, the Bible says “quit ye like men”, stand up for the truth and follow God, not your wife’s possible emotional responses. I’m not saying to be a jerk to your wife, but I am saying you have to stand for what’s right. Infant baptism is not right, and by allowing your son to be baptized you are giving approval to a unbiblical and honestly a heretical practice.
Who is in charge of your life God and his word, or your wife and her emotions?
There is a reason why our Baptist forefathers were martyred, and tortured over believers baptism, there were many Baptists who were persecuted for refusing to have their children baptized. You would do well to consider their example.