Divorce and Remarriage

[1689Dave]

Abraham is in hell? Isaac is in hell? Jacob is in hell? David is in hell? Wow!

In fact just about every man who has ever lived is in hell or is on his way to hell? Matt 5:28 but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.

So Jesus lied?

Repentant adulterers go to heaven. But how do you justify calling Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and David adulterers? Polygamy is not adultery. David no longer committed adultery when Uriah died. And he repented of murdering him.

How do you repent from adultery as long as you remain in an adulterous marriage?

 

[TCassidy]

"and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” (Matthew 19:9) (KJV 1900)

Read it all. A text out of context is a pretext.

There is an exception in there. Remember? I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.”

If she commits adultery and that is the grounds for divorce he is free to remarry. It can't be any plainer.

 

[TCassidy]

Polygamy is not adultery.

Of course it is! "And cling ONLY unto her as long as you both live."

 

[TCassidy]

adultery in every situation.

Wrong again. What part of "EXCEPT" don't you understand?

 

[1689Dave]

Of course it is! "And cling ONLY unto her as long as you both live."

If it is adultery, why did God give so many wives to his chosen people?

“Nathan said to David, “You are that man! This is what the Lord God of Israel says: ‘I chose you to be king over Israel and I rescued you from the hand of Saul. I gave you your master’s house, and put your master’s wives into your arms. I also gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all that somehow seems insignificant, I would have given you so much more as well!” (2 Samuel 12:7–8) (NET)

 

[1689Dave]

Wrong again. What part of "EXCEPT" don't you understand?

All of the people had grounds for remarriage if the "except clause" says what you think it says. But all 4 ended up committing adultery.

 

[TCassidy]

If it is adultery, why did God give so many wives to his chosen people?

He didn't.

“Nathan said to David, “You are that man! This is what the Lord God of Israel says: ‘I chose you to be king over Israel and I rescued you from the hand of Saul. I gave you your master’s house, and put your master’s wives into your arms. I also gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all that somehow seems insignificant, I would have given you so much more as well!” (2 Samuel 12:7–8) (NET)

David profited by the spoils of war. All of his household was given over to David. David was now responsible for their welfare. He was NOT to hop in bed with any whom he chose. God says adultery is a sin. Time to start believing Him.

 

[1689Dave]

He didn't.

David profited by the spoils of war. All of his household was given over to David. David was now responsible for their welfare. He was NOT to hop in bed with any whom he chose. God says adultery is a sin. Time to start believing Him.

Why did he "privilege" himself as a man after God's own heart. Why would being given a bunch of concubines to care for be such a blessing if all he did was feed them????

 

[TCassidy]

All of the people had grounds for remarriage if the "except clause" says what you think it says. But all 4 ended up committing adultery.

Wrong again. The man who divorced his wife for the biblical reason of adultery was free to remarry. It says exactly what it says. Except means except. And exception to the "adultery" rule.

Just trust in the Lord. He will make it clear to you that He says what He means and means what He says.

 

[1689Dave]

Wrong again. The man who divorced his wife for the biblical reason of adultery was free to remarry. It says exactly what it says. Except means except. And exception to the "adultery" rule.

Just trust in the Lord. He will make it clear to you that He says what He means and means what He says.

All are involved in adultery in Matthew 19:9. No "exceptions".

 

[TCassidy]

All are involved in adultery in Matthew 19:9. No "exceptions".

Wrong again. Jesus is NOT a liar! He said "EXCEPT" and He meant "EXCEPT."

I tell you that whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery, except if the divorce is for sexual immorality.”

 

[TCassidy]

Why did he "privilege" himself as a man after God's own heart. Why would being given a bunch of concubines to care for be such a blessing if all he did was feed them????

Taking care of your family is not a blessing? You would not provide for your wife unless she submitted to your every sexual demand?

You would not provide for your children unless they submitted to your every sexual demand?

You would not help provide for the poor or homeless less they submitted to your every sexual demand?

Do you have any idea what Jesus meant when He said "Love your neighbors?" I don't recall Him adding "but only if they submit to your every sexual demand."

 

[1689Dave]

Taking care of your family is not a blessing? You would not provide for your wife unless she submitted to your every sexual demand?

You would not provide for your children unless they submitted to your every sexual demand?

You would not help provide for the poor or homeless less they submitted to your every sexual demand?

Do you have any idea what Jesus meant when He said "Love your neighbors?" I don't recall Him adding "but only if they submit to your every sexual demand."

"I [God] gave you [David] your master’s house [Saul], and put your master’s wives into your arms.

 

[Jordan Kurecki]

I use to subscribe the view that TCassidy is promoting, however I will state my current views now:

I believe the exception clause refers to

1. Incestuous marriages (See Leviticus 18) (I also believe all sodomite "marriages" and sad that I have to say in our time and age but beastiality "marriages" would also be invalid as well, though I realize our passage in question relates to husband putting away a wife)
2. Betrothal unfaithfulness

Matthew 1:19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.

Deuteronomoy 22:13-21

If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:
And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her,saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;
And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.
But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:
Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil

Some other things to consider:

1. The NT teaching for Husbands
Eph 5:25-28
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

If Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, how can we justify someone putting his wife away for adultery? Does Jesus divorce us and end his relationship with us when we are unfaithful to him?

2. Suffering for righteousness

1 Peter 2:20-21 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.
For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

3. God hates divorce

2:14-16 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

Matthew 19:4-8 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

4. Other NT Passages

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

Romans 7:2-3

For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

5. When you make a vow that "Till death do us part" I do not believe adultery gives you the right to break that covenant and promise you made to your spouse to love them and care for them "Till death do us part".

6. If you were committing adultery, would you want your spouse to divorce you? or would you want her to love you and pray for you until you came to a place of repentance? We are to do to others as we would have done unto ourselves.

Just some final notes, I do not see how the verse in Corinthians that says "is not under bondage" can mean they are free to remarry, in my opinion that is something read into the passage. Also I realize that under the Law of Moses God allowed remarriage, however, it is said that was for the hardness of their hearts, I do not think God ever was happy with any kind of divorce, God clearly hates divorce, and New Testament Christians should go far beyond the letter of the law of the Moses because we have the Spirit of God indwelling us.

 

[1689Dave]

I use to subscribe the view that TCassidy is promoting, however I will state my current views now:

I believe the exception clause refers to

1. Incestuous marriages (See Leviticus 18)
2. Betrothal unfaithfulness

Matthew 1:19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.

Deuteronomoy 22:13-21

If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:
And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her,saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;
And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.
But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:
Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil

Some other things to consider:

1. The NT teaching for Husbands
Eph 5:25-28
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

If Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, how can we justify someone putting his wife away for adultery? Does Jesus divorce us and end his relationship with us when we are unfaithful to him?

2. Suffering for righteousness

1 Peter 2:20-21 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.
For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

3. God hates divorce

2:14-16 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

Matthew 19:4-8 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

4. Other NT Passages

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

Romans 7:2-3

For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

5. When you make a vow that "Till death do us part" I do not believe adultery gives you the right to break that covenant and promise you made to your spouse to love them and care for them.

6. If you were committing adultery, would you want your spouse to divorce you? or would you want her to love you and pray for you until you came to a place of repentance? We are to do to others as we would have done unto ourselves.

Just some final notes, I do not see how the verse in Corinthians that says "is not under bondage" can mean they are free to remarry, in my opinion that is something read into the passage. Also I realize that under the Law of Moses God allowed remarriage, however, it is said that was for the hardness of their hearts, I do not think God ever was happy with any kind of divorce, God clearly hates divorce, and New Testament Christians should go far beyond the letter of the law of the Moses because we have the Spirit of God indwelling us.

Thanks for looking into this. I don't think Paul means if an unbelieving spouse deserts, we can remarry. Because according to Paul, only death breaks the marriage bond. Divorce only separates.

“A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes (only someone in the Lord).” (1 Corinthians 7:39) (NET)

Now, if adultery dissolves the marriage bond, both parties are free to remarry as often as they wish with impunity. Just commit adultery and you are not committing adultery, because it automatically dissolves the marriage bond....

 

[Jordan Kurecki]

Thanks for looking into this. I don't think Paul means if an unbelieving spouse deserts, we can remarry. Because according to Paul, only death breaks the marriage bond. Divorce only separates.

“A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes (only someone in the Lord).” (1 Corinthians 7:39) (NET)

Now, if adultery dissolves the marriage bond, both parties are free to remarry as often as they wish with impunity. Just commit adultery and you are not committing adultery, because it automatically dissolves the marriage bond....

I would venture to say that we misunderstand the "exception clause". I think based upon the character of God and his hatred of divorce, we should reconsider if the exception clause really means that in cases of adultery that divorce and/or remarriage is acceptable.'

Why would Jesus go all the way back to Genesis and refer to the creation account and about how a man should cleave to his wife and become one flesh, and refer to Moses allowing divorce for the hardness of the people's hearts, only to then go and condone divorce? Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I think the problem is that many are not understanding the "exception clause".

 

[Yeshua1]

Does the “except clause” in Matthew 19:9 allow remarriage after divorce based on adultery?

“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” (Matthew 19:9) (KJV 1900)

On the surface it appears Jesus approves of remarriage if we divorce our spouse on grounds of adultery. But how can this be? The innocent wife, divorced from an adulterous husband, commits adultery when she remarries. And the man she marries also commits adultery.

The act of adultery would sever the Covenant relationship between husband and wife now . IF they did try to resolve this issue, and sought the grace and forgiveness of God, can be restored. The innocent party would be free to remarry in the lord.

 

[1689Dave]

I would venture to say that we misunderstand the "exception clause". I think based upon the character of God and his hatred of divorce, we should reconsider if the exception clause really means that in cases of adultery that divorce and/or remarriage is acceptable.'

Why would Jesus go all the way back to Genesis and refer to the creation account and about how a man should cleave to his wife and become one flesh, and refer to Moses allowing divorce for the hardness of the people's hearts, only to then go and condone divorce? Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I think the problem is that many are not understanding the "exception clause".

The "except clause" might mean other things, like when the State executes the adulterer. So Jesus in essence might be saying anyone who puts away an adulterous spouse "whom the State doesn't execute" and marries another commits adultery. Because only death breaks the marriage bond.

 

[1689Dave]

The act of adultery would sever the Covenant relationship between husband and wife now . IF they did try to resolve this issue, and sought the grace and forgiveness of God, can be restored. The innocent party would be free to remarry in the lord.

But only death breaks the marriage bond. It would not be an issue otherwise. Just commit adultery and you are no longer married, move on tho the next spouse and do likewise and so on.......

 

[Yeshua1]

But only death breaks the marriage bond. It would not be an issue otherwise. Just commit adultery and you are no longer married, move on tho the next spouse and do likewise and so on.......

the Lord would still desire to have even that situation resolves and kept together, by His forgiveness and grace, but if cannot be, in His eyes, the marriage would be official dissolved.