Jon, I am curious about your series of threads here.
While I believe I understand (and share) your critique of what is generally the Calvinistic explanation of the Atonement, I don't quite see how that necessitates your departure from the 5 points.
I.O.W. while I think I'm following your critiques (and am sympathetic) the particular flavor of penal substitution usually espoused by Calvinists isn't strictly necessary to adhere to the five points right?
If I understand you correctly, you are partial to something of a Christus Victor model. Does that disqualify the five points? I am not sure I see them as mutually exclusive.
Obviously, Penal Substitution fits rather nicely in the Calvinist schema....The older Calvinist Theologians especially often took it to absurdities I think, speaking almost as though there were a ratio of exchange between so much volume of blood in exchange for x amount of sin-debt owed and a limited supply et. al. Just think about that John Owen question someone posted and the weird assumptions it makes as though there's x-amount of blood available to be spent, but only for the elect, and why would God throw good money after bad wasting it on the y-sins of someone who isn't elect etc....
That being said...none of your critiques, as I've seen, are strictly incompatible with Calvinism. Which exact point of our honorable TULIP can you not accept and why?