Forced to serve?

[Alive in Christ]

Webdog, you posted...

Sure. The part you don't understand is "I don't feel this calling to work with babies and children as it is_________ (insert excuse: beneath me, don't want to change diapers, wipe noses, hold crying babies, etc., don't feel like doing it so I will just say 'I'm not called to do it', you cannot tell me what to do, I dictate how I serve in the church, etc.)"

Well, I agree with you rearding just about everthing you listed there, except for.....

'I'm not called to do it'



The fact is that people do indeed have the ability to discern Gods leading and gifting, and in time they come to know what their streghths and weaknesses are...

I am not a people person
I am uncomfortable in crowds
I love big parties
I dont care for big parties
I LOVE working with children
I love the oceon
I love living in big cities
I dont like livining big cities
I love love living in the country
I dont like living in the country

I dont do well with children


Not everybody is the same. If someone says "God has not gifted me in the area of "BLANK"...then we need to assume that they know more about how they are called to ministry then we do.

 

[webdog]

Webdog, you posted...



Well, I agree with you rearding just about everthing you listed there, except for.....

'I'm not called to do it'



The fact is that people do indeed have the ability to discern Gods leading and gifting, and in time they come to know what their streghths and weaknesses are...

I am not a people person
I am uncomfortable in crowds
I love big parties
I dont care for big parties
I LOVE working with children
I love the oceon
I love living in big cities
I dont like livining big cities
I love love living in the country
I dont like living in the country

I dont do well with children


Not everybody is the same. If someone says "God has not gifted me in the area of "BLANK"...then we need to assume that they know more about how they are called to ministry then we do.

When you say you don't do well with children, I'm taking it you dont have any. The op is in regards to those that do.

 

[Alive in Christ]

When you say you don't do well with children, I'm taking it you dont have any. The op is in regards to those that do.

No. I do great with children. Love the kids.

That long list of do's and dont's that I posted was just a bunch personality differences to make a point that we are all different, and that includes being called in different ways ministry wise. And that some pepole are not called to do certain jobs.

 

[webdog]

No. I do great with children. Love the kids.

That long list of do's and dont's that I posted was just a bunch personality differences to make a point that we are all different, and that includes being called in different ways ministry wise.

I agree with that, but there are many times a need arises and we need to serve and fill that need for a season. The scenario in the op applies to that. As long as you have children (in that church) and place them in those ministries, you are expected to serve. I see nothing tyranical or nonsensical about that as some here have tried making it. Our church has 12 babies (members' kids, not visitors) any given week and i wish we also had such a policy. The same 6-10 people rotate every month with the director sometimes rarely seeing an adult service...with us having 2 services.

 

[Sminasian]

I don't understand the attitude of not wanting to help young mothers and finding being with their children such a burden. I was blessed so much by others helping with my own children and I wish I could help out in the nursery now. Well, my two older girls will step in if they are able to because it's a privilege to serve.

Our churches are in great trouble when it's all about "me" instead of "Christ gave His life, the least I can do is to help. Where can I best serve to assist the workings of this ministry?" For a church to feel that they need to assign women to work in the nursery because otherwise it wouldn't be staffed is a sign of unhealthy people in the church. Instead, it should be a place where they have to say "Oh, I wish I had someplace for you to serve this week but we're full."

Then that would be the PERFECT church, and there arent any. You mean to tell me out of 1500 people in that church they HAVE TO MANDATE nursery workers? No church should be mandating anyone to serve, PERIOD. It should be because we want to, I never said I didnt want to serve, I just dont want to serve in the nursery, with a church that large, there is plenty of work to go around, not just the nursery

 

[annsni]

Then that would be the PERFECT church, and there arent any. You mean to tell me out of 1500 people in that church they HAVE TO MANDATE nursery workers? No church should be mandating anyone to serve, PERIOD. It should be because we want to, I never said I didnt want to serve, I just dont want to serve in the nursery, with a church that large, there is plenty of work to go around, not just the nursery

But apparently in that church, there is a problem where they can't get nursery workers and they finally decided that everyone would serve.

How often must you serve in the nursery if every woman is expected to serve in a church of 1500?? I'd say once every few years.

 

[webdog]

Then that would be the PERFECT church, and there arent any. You mean to tell me out of 1500 people in that church they HAVE TO MANDATE nursery workers? No church should be mandating anyone to serve, PERIOD. It should be because we want to, I never said I didnt want to serve, I just dont want to serve in the nursery, with a church that large, there is plenty of work to go around, not just the nursery

Do you have kids? And what is with the rebellious attitude of "nobody is telling me how to serve"? Really? What has God put leaders over us for if we have such a mindset? SHEEP DO NOT TELL SHEPHERDS HOW THINGS ARE DONE.

 

[Sminasian]

we have 4 services a week. Each of the 200 workers they have assigned to the nursery serves one service a month for 6 months. I have explained to them my issue, and I tried to serve in the nursery, I have SEVERE panic attacks. Small rooms with a lot of commotion triggers them. I have expressed this to them in private and the answer i got, as you can see in the email I posted was , not in so many words, " too bad"..... I did it twice, and it was a nightmare. I think they can make some concessions when needed . They choose not to

 

[nodak]

Let's see: our church has been frequently without a pianist, and we all love to sing.

So let's send out an email telling everyone if they sing they take a turn at playing piano.

No?

Makes about as much sense as deciding all women will take a turn in the nursery.

No problem if it is all who use the nursery, but not just all women (or men) in general.

 

[webdog]

we have 4 services a week. Each of the 200 workers they have assigned to the nursery serves one service a month for 6 months. I have explained to them my issue, and I tried to serve in the nursery, I have SEVERE panic attacks. Small rooms with a lot of commotion triggers them. I have expressed this to them in private and the answer i got, as you can see in the email I posted was , not in so many words, " too bad"..... I did it twice, and it was a nightmare. I think they can make some concessions when needed . They choose not to

Do you have kids? If so how many in the nursery?

Also nobody is forcing you attend.

 

[webdog]

Let's see: our church has been frequently without a pianist, and we all love to sing.

So let's send out an email telling everyone if they sing they take a turn at playing piano.

No?

Apples and dump trucks. Not even remotely similar.

Makes about as much sense as deciding all women will take a turn in the nursery.

I don't recall the op saying anything about all women. Please follow along.

No problem if it is all who use the nursery, but not just all women (or men) in general.

...and this is what the op is discussing.

 

[Sminasian]

Apples and dump trucks. Not even remotely similar.

I don't recall the op saying anything about all women. Please follow along.


...and this is what the op is discussing.

I am not the OP but I am the one stated, and posted a email I recieved from the church, regarding women serving in the nursery. " we expect all women in the church to serve in the nursery, it is not a volunteer position".......

 

[webdog]

I am not the OP but I am the one stated, and posted a email I recieved from the church, regarding women serving in the nursery. " we expect all women in the church to serve in the nursery, it is not a volunteer position".......

That is an entirely different scenario than the op. I would run out of a church that held such sexist policies. Men are just as capable of serving...we are not neanderthals that cannot be around babies.

 

[abcgrad94]

I have no idea why someone would object working with children when they HAVE children, its baffling. The excuses on this thread have been lame and quite rebelious, imo.

I never had a problem working in the nursery, in fact I preferred the nursery because I love babies. My issue with being required to work nursery was that I was ALSO required to work with the church's kids EVERY Sunday morning for Jr. Church and EVERY Wednesday evening. . .and serve as Sunday school helper at times, too. I was required to be the "second adult" for my dh, who was the youth pastor. So, out of three services, I was ALREADY working with kids for 2 services. The weeks I had nursery duty as well were weeks (usually twice a month) I went to church and NEVER got to hear a sermon because the entire time I was working with other people's children. That's not spiritually healthy.

I'm not against church nurseries or youth programs, but somewhere along the way, it seems we the parents have gotten the mentality that children are a bother in services and need to go elsewhere to be entertained. Yes, little children have a hard time sitting through church, but I think if the parents WANT their kids with them in the services, they should not be required to work nursery/children's ministry.

 

[nodak]

No, it isn't apples and dump trucks.

Why is the nursery something special, with different rules for benefitting from it than any other job in the church?

If you have children in SS, are you required to take a turn teaching?

For that matter, if you are in SS yourself are you required to take a turn teaching?

My personal opinion, or fear, is that this drivel is coming from men who want the kids out of the service so they don't detract from the important pontifications of the men.

My other fear is how many people will just decide to overthrow the despots by just staying home.

 

[webdog]

No, it isn't apples and dump trucks.

Why is the nursery something special, with different rules for benefitting from it than any other job in the church?

If you have children in SS, are you required to take a turn teaching?

For that matter, if you are in SS yourself are you required to take a turn teaching?

My personal opinion, or fear, is that this drivel is coming from men who want the kids out of the service so they don't detract from the important pontifications of the men.

My other fear is how many people will just decide to overthrow the despots by just staying home.

Serving is completely different than ministries. We are all called to serve, we are not all called to play the piano, teach, etc. When you work in the nursery you are not using a spiritual gift, you are serving....so yes, it is completely unrelated.

I would hope if you had a school age child you would volunteer your services working with them even if they do not need the help. We have an infant, pre-school and grade school children. My wife leads a team that works in the nursery, and I help teach the preschool. I would have no problem helping out with every age my children are in. If God gifted me with children to teach and serve, you better believe he gifted me to serve the children of others!

 

[Arbo]

My own opinion is that if someone believes they are being forced to serve (in a general sense) in the church, they are either in the wrong church or have the wrong attitude.

 

[Sminasian]

It isnt that i BELIEVE I am forced to serve, I AM being forced to serve.

 

[webdog]

It isnt that i BELIEVE I am forced to serve, I AM being forced to serve.

Someone is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to attend the church? Let us know so we can call the authorities.

 

[Oldtimer]

Serving is completely different than ministries. We are all called to serve, we are not all called to play the piano, teach, etc. When you work in the nursery you are not using a spiritual gift, you are serving....so yes, it is completely unrelated.

I would hope if you had a school age child you would volunteer your services working with them even if they do not need the help. We have an infant, pre-school and grade school children. My wife leads a team that works in the nursery, and I help teach the preschool. I would have no problem helping out with every age my children are in. If God gifted me with children to teach and serve, you better believe he gifted me to serve the children of others!

Serving is using the gifts we have been given. Everything we have, everything we are is from God. Whether it's physical strength to push a mop or a voice that can carry a tune. It is all related within the framework of our lives and service to our Lord.

You are blessed that you were gifted to work with small children. Some of us are NOT gifted with that blessing. I'm one of them. God didn't grant me the patience needed for small children's ministry. Perhaps that's why we never had children of our own.

I'll gladly paint the nursery, empty the diaper pails, mop the floors, prepare meals for them and anything else in a support role. One example of such service has been during Vacation Bible school. I have and will continue to volunteer, in any support capacity needed. There's one exception. I cannot volunteer to teach a class. I do not have that gift. To "force" me to fill that role would be a disaster for both the children and myself. God has allowed me to recognize that limitation within myself.

IMO it is wrong for any church to "force" any member into a specific service for our Lord in any manner. Our Lord calls. He doesn't force anyone into "work" for which He hasn't made provision for him/her to be successful according to His plan for their lives.