Is suicide unforgivable

[kyredneck]

Yes it was. Let's pray he takes her advise.

 

[Revmitchell]

Ok, here goes I really need some advice. Yes I have been actively thinking about suicide for some time. Long story short. I have been married almost 20 years. About a month ago my wife and I separated and it was my fault. I didn't cheat and I am not abusive so nothing like that but I can lose my temper easy and when I do I say cutting things. I demanded respect but was slow to show it. As a result my wife has informed me that as far as she is concerned there is not way she wants to reconcile with me and of my 4 kids, 1 won't speak to me at all. 1 is very hesitant around me and is unsure if she wants to reconcile with me and the other 2 (the youngest) aren't sure how they feel and will only see me if one of the older ones comes with them. The more I see the damage I caused the more hopeless I feel. My kids are wonderful kids but because of my pride in having everyone believe I had such a great family, I was very hard on them for every thing they did. As a result they were left wondering if they were good enough for me and it seriously damaged their self esteem and confidence. I rarely showed grace only judgement. I look at myself and I feel shame and contempt. What kind of father does this? My oldest two are now in counseling to rebuild their self worth. I was given the greatest gift that God could give a person (outside salvation), a loving wife and 4 amazing kids and in less than 20 years I destroyed it. The only reason that I am still alive is because I am terrified about eternity thus the reason for the question. I have started an anti-depressant but no medicine can take this away or fix it. When I try to pray it feels as if Heaven is closed to me, I can actually really relate to King Saul at the end of his life when he could not hear from God and in desperation went to the witch of Endor. Any advice, any scripture, any prayers are welcome. When my wife and I separated I left the church that we were going to because she and the kids really loved it and were heavily involved and I did not want to cause them to stop going because I was there. As a result I am currently visiting a new church but don't have an "official" pastor yet.

Brother,


First I want you to know that God does hear you. Also I am part of a nationwide prayer and to the best of my knowledge there is not a single state that does not have multiple people praying for you right now. That even includes Christians on the Navajo Reservation.

I know the feelings of hopelessness are very real and may even feel like the most real thing you have ever experienced. Just know that the perception these very real feelings cause are not real. These feelings can and do fool us into thinking things are different than they really are.

Also, no matter what may be going on between you and your family they do not wish this for you and would miss you should you ever be gone. Please hang on no matter how strong the feelings grab a hold of you. The feelings are real but the perception they cause are not. Contact me as soon as you can.

 

[HeDied4U]

I have dealt with suicide extensively. When I was pastoring in the reservation there was about a year and a half where I dealt with one or more suicides monthly some in consecutive weeks. I dealt with it so much I eventually became tired and distressed myself.

During this time I received training from both the Federal government and from SBC disaster relief as a chaplain.


It is easy to judge from a distance people who commit suicide. Quite frankly I have no tolerance for that judgment. Until you have looked into the eyes of people who have no hope in their mind time and again I suggest you save your judgment. Until you have looked into the eyes of a 16 year old girl who tells you she just has no hope just shut your mouth.

Until you have ministered to people who are in actual despair with real concerns I suggest you keep your pharisitical attitude to yourself. You know not of what you judge.

There are real and genuine reasons why people commit suicide and calling them selfish does nothing to address those needs. If you want to be unforgiving about suicide then you need to deal with God on that issue. Shame on you.

Amen Rev!!

 

[Thousand Hills]

AD - Pray. Pray that God would work in your life to bring about a great testimony to His power of change - of making you a new man from the inside out. Pray for your wife that God would protect her and soften her heart towards you. Pray for your children that they would be able to overcome their upbringing and learn forgiveness and grace. We will join you in those prayers!

:thumbs:AD, Praying for you since I read this yesterday.

I've struggled with depression myself over the years, so I can understand in some ways, and a particular passage that has always helped me is Psalm 77.

It has taken time for your particular situation to get to this point and it will take time for God to work the situation out to his Glory. Trust him and give him the time to show his faithfulness.

Psalm 37:3-7 says: Trust in the Lord, and do good;Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.Delight yourself also in the Lord,And He shall give you the desires of your heart.Commit your way to the Lord,Trust also in Him,And He shall bring it to pass.He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,And your justice as the noonday.Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;

I like Spurgeon's commentary on verse 7 and go back to this often when I'm perplexed about the difficulties of life he says:

Verse 7. Rest in the Lord. This fifth is a most divine precept, and requires much grace to carry it out. To hush the spirit, to be silent before the Lord, to wait in holy patience the time for clearing up the difficulties of Providence—that is what every gracious heart should aim at. "Aaron held his peace:" "I opened not my mouth, because thou didst it." A silent tongue in many cases not only shows a wise head, but a holy heart. And wait patiently for him. Time is nothing to him; let it be nothing to thee. God is worth waiting for. "He never is before his time, he never is too late." In a story we wait for the end to clear up the plot; we ought not to prejudge the great drama of life, but stay till the closing scene, and see to what a finis the whole arrives

.

From your posts it seems you feel as God is not working. I think since you realize what you have done wrong and how you have treated them it shows that you are repentant about your past actions, and I don't think you'd be doing that if God wasn't working in you to bring about that repentant attitude. Take some time, get some perspective, and let God work in this situation.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

:thumbs:AD, Praying for you since I read this yesterday.

I've struggled with depression myself over the years, so I can understand in some ways, and a particular passage that has always helped me is Psalm 77.

It has taken time for your particular situation to get to this point and it will take time for God to work the situation out to his Glory. Trust him and give him the time to show his faithfulness.

Psalm 37:3-7 says: Trust in the Lord, and do good;Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.Delight yourself also in the Lord,And He shall give you the desires of your heart.Commit your way to the Lord,Trust also in Him,And He shall bring it to pass.He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,And your justice as the noonday.Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;

I like Spurgeon's commentary on verse 7 and go back to this often when I'm perplexed about the difficulties of life he says:
.

From your posts it seems you feel as God is not working. I think since you realize what you have done wrong and how you have treated them it shows that you are repentant about your past actions, and I don't think you'd be doing that if God wasn't working in you to bring about that repentant attitude. Take some time, get some perspective, and let God work in this situation.

TH....you have a good heart brother. I'm sure (with the help of God) that AD will work through this. God bless you both.

 

[kyredneck]

...From your posts it seems you feel as God is not working. I think since you realize what you have done wrong and how you have treated them it shows that you are repentant about your past actions, and I don't think you'd be doing that if God wasn't working in you to bring about that repentant attitude. Take some time, get some perspective, and let God work in this situation.

My sentiments exactly. Well said brother.

 

[righteousdude2]

Seek it where....this man is a Baptist Pastor....where would he go , indeed where would any of us go?

Let me see .... it is easy to call suicide prevention hot lines. These people will get this guy headed for the help he needs.

Just because he's a pastor doesn't exclude him or make him immune to suicidal thoughts. Rick Warren was a pastor, and he was powerless to help his son. It happens. He should seek help, ASAP.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Let me see .... it is easy to call suicide prevention hot lines. These people will get this guy headed for the help he needs.

Where? A community hospital emergency room perhaps. I did an extensive study in my area & was appalled by my findings....they were poor at best!

Just because he's a pastor doesn't exclude him or make him immune to suicidal thoughts. Rick Warren was a pastor, and he was powerless to help his son. It happens. He should seek help, ASAP.

Paul, i dont disagree with you....I only pray its professional & compassionate!

 

[ashleysdad]

First I want to say thank-you for all the prayers and advice. It is overwhelming to me to know that brothers and sisters that I have never met are praying for me. You will never know how thankful I am. As this continues to unfold I am being forced to realize that my life has been a sham. I thought I was a good father and husband. I knew that I had a sharp tongue and would say harsh things when I was angry but I never stopped to see just how devastating it really was. I always just figured it was part of family life and I took comfort in the idea that since we also had a lot of fun times together it must not really be that bad.

I am also seeing that it was not just my family life that was fake it was my spiritual life as well. I took pride in the various ministries that I was involved in (selfish pride). I enjoyed having people say what a good Youth Pastor, Preacher, etc that I was. Meanwhile I was like a stage prop. Looked good on the outside but nothing really behind it.

I have always struggled with the idea of "assurance of salvation" I would hear people talk about it and what a blessing it was and I would realize that I never really had it. So I would immerse myself in my activities. Honestly, I don't know that I am saved. I know all the verses. I know the "sinners prayer". I can explain this to others but I am not sure of it myself. The other problem I have is I find myself questioning my motives. Do I really want to be right with God or is it just because I am desperate and hope that if I say the "right words" God will fix my family. I know that I believe that God is real and that Jesus is Gods Son. I believe that He did everything the Bible says He did and that He died for all sin and was buried and rose again. I also believe that He is coming again. What I am struggling with is that I am NOT sure that I trust that this is sufficient or that my motives are or have been pure? Do I really want to be saved or do I want people to notice? I have always been told that Salvation is simple. Right now it seems like it is the most complicated thing in the world. I know that I don't want to be cast away and I know that I don't want to harden my heart to the point of no return. I just want some clarity and to be able to trust That God really does love me and that Jesus really will save me and to know that I really want to be right with Him for the right reasons.

I am sorry that this is so lengthy but I wanted to try to get it all out. Thank-you again for all the prayers.

 

[Revmitchell]

Brother when sin and even great trials enter our lives it can cause us to doubt our salvation. No one here can dub you saved or not but what you need to do is to stick with scripture.


We have been heavily worried about you. please stay in touch in this thread regularly and let us know how things are going.

 

[annsni]

I guess what I would ask you is this: Would you still trust God if everything truly was taken from you? If you lost your ministry, lost your family - would God be enough for you? We don't know that God is going to heal everything in your life because sometimes He chooses not to do that. But God is still good and worthy of honor and praise. Can you still have faith in that God?

 

[salzer mtn]

First I want to say thank-you for all the prayers and advice. It is overwhelming to me to know that brothers and sisters that I have never met are praying for me. You will never know how thankful I am. As this continues to unfold I am being forced to realize that my life has been a sham. I thought I was a good father and husband. I knew that I had a sharp tongue and would say harsh things when I was angry but I never stopped to see just how devastating it really was. I always just figured it was part of family life and I took comfort in the idea that since we also had a lot of fun times together it must not really be that bad.

I am also seeing that it was not just my family life that was fake it was my spiritual life as well. I took pride in the various ministries that I was involved in (selfish pride). I enjoyed having people say what a good Youth Pastor, Preacher, etc that I was. Meanwhile I was like a stage prop. Looked good on the outside but nothing really behind it.

I have always struggled with the idea of "assurance of salvation" I would hear people talk about it and what a blessing it was and I would realize that I never really had it. So I would immerse myself in my activities. Honestly, I don't know that I am saved. I know all the verses. I know the "sinners prayer". I can explain this to others but I am not sure of it myself. The other problem I have is I find myself questioning my motives. Do I really want to be right with God or is it just because I am desperate and hope that if I say the "right words" God will fix my family. I know that I believe that God is real and that Jesus is Gods Son. I believe that He did everything the Bible says He did and that He died for all sin and was buried and rose again. I also believe that He is coming again. What I am struggling with is that I am NOT sure that I trust that this is sufficient or that my motives are or have been pure? Do I really want to be saved or do I want people to notice? I have always been told that Salvation is simple. Right now it seems like it is the most complicated thing in the world. I know that I don't want to be cast away and I know that I don't want to harden my heart to the point of no return. I just want some clarity and to be able to trust That God really does love me and that Jesus really will save me and to know that I really want to be right with Him for the right reasons.

I am sorry that this is so lengthy but I wanted to try to get it all out. Thank-you again for all the prayers.

Sir, I would just add this. No one is deserving of the least of the blessings of God. Probably no one understood this more than Job. He lost everything he had. His friends turned against him, even his wife said, curse God and die. Job however realized God was to be worshipped regardless of the circumstances. Through it all Job said, The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord. Sometimes God strips us that he may clothe us. Sometimes He empties the vessel that He may fill it back up. You are not going through something that no one else has not experienced before and came out of it still giving God the Glory. Everyone has problems in this life that to them are major, whether is be a migraine headache that they can't rid themselves of or long term financial problems, or life long health problems. God will not put on us more than we can bare but with the temptation or trial make a way of escape. Christ is that escape route.

 

[SovereignGrace]

Sometimes God strips us that he may cloth us. Sometimes He empties the vessel that He may fill it back up.

Wonderful words. Hallelujah..

 

[Scarlett O.]

Through it all Job said, The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord. Sometimes God strips us that he may clothe us. Sometimes He empties the vessel that He may fill it back up.

Amen.......:thumbs:

 

[OldRegular]

I want to ask a couple of questions. Well I guess one question with two parts. Is suicide a sin that is unforgivable? I know that Jesus' death on the cross atoned for all sin past, present, and future but does suicide show a lack of faith that indicates the person was not truly saved in the first place? I guess what I am trying to ask is will a truly saved person ever commit suicide? This is a serious question that I have been grappling with for awhile and I would really appreciate some BIBLICAL answers. Thanks in advance.

NO! Absolutely not!

 

[Zaac]

Still covering you in prayer AD. Keep checking in. raying:

 

[SaggyWoman]

I have no reason scripturally to believe suicide is unforgivable. It's tough. Its a mental health issue, but not unforgiveable.

I have a friend who committed suicide who I truly believe new the Lord. But I also know my friend had mental health issues.

But in some way, we all have mental health issues.

 

[ashleysdad]

I just wanted to post a quick note. I have been reading scripture about God going through storms with us but does that cover when WE cause the storm? I have a lot of questions regarding Gods forgiveness and restoration. I want to be forgiven but feel like I am seeking forgiveness because of what has happened. I find myself asking if I would be seeking Gods forgiveness if this had not happened. I was still guilty of everything but if this had not happened I would not be seeking forgiveness. That face makes me doubt why I am seeking God. I want to be right with God but will He have me even if this is the reason why I am coming? Well, thank-you again and please keep praying.

 

[Revmitchell]

I just wanted to post a quick note. I have been reading scripture about God going through storms with us but does that cover when WE cause the storm? I have a lot of questions regarding Gods forgiveness and restoration. I want to be forgiven but feel like I am seeking forgiveness because of what has happened. I find myself asking if I would be seeking Gods forgiveness if this had not happened. I was still guilty of everything but if this had not happened I would not be seeking forgiveness. That face makes me doubt why I am seeking God. I want to be right with God but will He have me even if this is the reason why I am coming? Well, thank-you again and please keep praying.

Praying for you brother.

 

[righteousdude2]

I just wanted to post a quick note. I have been reading scripture about God going through storms with us but does that cover when WE cause the storm? I have a lot of questions regarding Gods forgiveness and restoration. I want to be forgiven but feel like I am seeking forgiveness because of what has happened. I find myself asking if I would be seeking Gods forgiveness if this had not happened. I was still guilty of everything but if this had not happened I would not be seeking forgiveness. That face makes me doubt why I am seeking God. I want to be right with God but will He have me even if this is the reason why I am coming? Well, thank-you again and please keep praying.

Praying you find the answer to your quest! And as a person who has been there and done that ... I do know you will in fact find the answers to your questions and the kind of peace that only God can and will give to His children!