Marcia
Active Member
So far, I've managed to escape this option! One time, I led a group of women to Starbucks instead! We had a great time getting to know each other over coffee.
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Men and church
- Thread starter SolaSaint
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So far, I've managed to escape this option! One time, I led a group of women to Starbucks instead! We had a great time getting to know each other over coffee.
SolaSaint
Well-Known Member
I've noticed where this thread has turned into a list of what we are not comfortable with in church. I know we all have our comfort zones and all are different, but did Jesus kind of step out of His comfort zones for us? I really don't like hugging a man, or even a woman besides my wife, but if it edifys the body of Christ, I will step out of my comfort zone, usually.
Marcia
Active Member
Actually, I don't think hugging someone who is not you wife or holding hands with others falls under "stepping out of our comfort zone." The latter has more to do with takings steps or risks to do ministry or spread the gospel, etc.
I think if someone is not comfortable hugging a woman who is not his wife, he shouldn't do it. If someone doesn't want to hold hands, they shouldn't have to. Touching is very personal. Also, some people with a certain kind of past might not be comfortable with it.
Physically touching beyond a handshake or something like that is not necessary to connect with other Christians. I am fine with hugging women but don't really like hugging men unless I know them really well.
SolaSaint
Well-Known Member
I understand, I guess I stated that wrongly. :wavey:
Amen, brother. :thumbs:
paul wassona
New Member
Paul Wassona...
Wow. In all honesty, I feel kind of sorry for you, brother.
If someone is invited to be part of a prayer circle, and yet they are concerned about the sex of the hand they are joining in prayer with....
Wow. Just wow. I'm saddened by that.
No one said anything on a sexual level of concern about holding hands. Feel sad all you want, "prayer circles" were not begun by men. That should tell you of the effiminant nature of its beginning. Most women like real manly men, others seem to like it when men are under their control. Effiminancy is a way of debasing men. Can anyone show a bible reference to men holding hands in a prayer circle? How about a reference to a prayer circle, period?
I've never been in a church that holds hands in circles to pray. But then again, we don't break off in groups to do anything----not Sunday School, not junior church, not nursery, not young adults class, or old adults class. We all meet in a small room where we sing, pray, testify, and preach.
My early life was in old ye olde England, where men did not do personal things in public. I never kiss nor hug my wife in public. I never offer my handshake to a woman. It is up to the woman to offer her hand first, and then I will shake her hand.
On the other hand, I was 8 years a military chaplain, and during a time of war. I held the hand of a dying man on the battlefield, as I prayed over him.
Yes, there are times when we step out of our "comfort zone", for the sake of the needs of people.
In many churches I pastored, it was not unusual to ask the congregation to turn to their neighbour in the pews and shake hands....it might even be a woman. The handshake is equated with the "holy kiss".
I don't believe for a moment that shaking hands or hugging has anything to do with one's spirituality. but has everything to do with one's cultural upbringing. I have never seen men kiss and hug at a football match!
So far as men feeling uncomfortable in attending church, someone has mentioned spiritual conviction rather than what others are doing is the proper answer. We need more man-to-man activity and conversation in our lives, period!
Cheers,
Jim
On the other hand, I was 8 years a military chaplain, and during a time of war. I held the hand of a dying man on the battlefield, as I prayed over him.
Yes, there are times when we step out of our "comfort zone", for the sake of the needs of people.
In many churches I pastored, it was not unusual to ask the congregation to turn to their neighbour in the pews and shake hands....it might even be a woman. The handshake is equated with the "holy kiss".
I don't believe for a moment that shaking hands or hugging has anything to do with one's spirituality. but has everything to do with one's cultural upbringing. I have never seen men kiss and hug at a football match!
So far as men feeling uncomfortable in attending church, someone has mentioned spiritual conviction rather than what others are doing is the proper answer. We need more man-to-man activity and conversation in our lives, period!
Cheers,
Jim
Ya Big ol....Bunch of sissys!... too afraid to hold someone's hands.. just because they happen to be the same gender as you!...
ONLY men not secure in their manhood have problems with showing emotions...
Christ cried... And Jesus was a real man...
Christ is also holding us in his hand... and we men are also considered part of the Bride of Christ.. .HOW's that for effeminate???!! LOL
If you are a Christian Male, you are part of the Bride of Christ.. He is your bridegroom.
If that bothers you...
Get a backbone ya sissy!... and realize that it is OK to be sensitive as a male...
Real men are sensitive. Look at Jesus!
ONLY men not secure in their manhood have problems with showing emotions...
Christ cried... And Jesus was a real man...
Christ is also holding us in his hand... and we men are also considered part of the Bride of Christ.. .HOW's that for effeminate???!! LOL
If you are a Christian Male, you are part of the Bride of Christ.. He is your bridegroom.
If that bothers you...
Get a backbone ya sissy!... and realize that it is OK to be sensitive as a male...
Real men are sensitive. Look at Jesus!
SaggyWoman
Active Member
I tend to find holding hands distracting because, of course, I want to hold that special someone's hand, and then when I do, all I think about is holding his hand. So much for prayer. Except "Oh God, thank you for letting me hold his hand."
So THAT'S the real reason why men don't want to come to church! They are hiding from Saggy!:smilewinkgrin:
Tim! Tell us how you really feel! :laugh::laugh:
Thank you. :laugh:
I have two uncles and a dad who are EXTREMELY manly men. And in their hay-day, there ain't no man alive who would want to meet them in a dark alley.
One of my uncles is very stoic. He never shows his emotions. And I love him and consider him manly. But not because he doesn't show emotions.
My other uncle hugs, shake hands, cries when teaches Sunday School, and cries when he leads devotions and sings. And I love him, too, and his manliness. And not because he wear his emotions on his sleeve.
My dad is somewhere in the middle. Stoic and unemotional when he feels the need to be and gushy when he feels led. I love him most of all and he is the MANLIEST man that know.
I guess what I am saying is that I had NO IDEA one's manliness was measured by whether or not he stood and held hands in CONFOUNDED PRAYER CIRCLE!
My dad doesn't have prayer circles in his church. I've been there. But if they did, he and both of my uncles would be smack in the middle of it leading the rest of the congregation to feel comfortable enough to participate. And if they didn't ...... it would be alright with them.
It just doesn't matter. Either you participate or you don't. Pray at your pew or pray in a circle. Just pray.
Marcia
Active Member
This is how I was raised - men don't offer to shake the woman's hand but wait to see if she offers her hand first. I wish men would follow that more.
Marcia
Active Member
I'm not sure we each are a bride of Christ. The corporate church is the bride of Christ. I've had issues with this from some women's teaching that we are all Christ's bride. That is not biblical imo.
Robert Snow
New Member
Well stated
paul wassona
New Member
Don't confuse compassion and consolation with sensitivity. [attack snipped].
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FR7 Baptist
Active Member
Do you have Scripture to prove hand-holding is bad?
P.S. I don't like holding hands in church like that.
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