Parents Who Spank Being Made Criminals

The thing I keep coming back to is that discipline has to happen everywhere we are with the children. Spanking stops fairly early because children start to reason. The behaviours that have been mentioned don't go on forever and because they are associated with young children, they have to be taken care of quickly.


Well, they should stop early for the most part UNLESS they aren't taken care of early and are allowed to continue -- then we have real problems on our hands.

 

The Scripture does not say whether the son is young or old... it just says the son is rebellious. Think about it, just because it says the son is a drunkard does not put it in a certain age bracket, i.e., an adult.

I can point you to neighborhoods all along the east coast where children as young as 8 are drunkards and addicted to drugs.

 

Webdog, every spanking in this house starts with the words, "Do you understand why you are in trouble?". That is their chance to head off disaster. There have been times when I changed my mind about spanking them and together we came up with a different solution based on "if this stops_____ then it's dealt with, but the very next time you ____ we coming back to having to have a spanking."

Not only, but spankings are always followed by discussions after the child is calm and the incident fully settled about what led up to the spanking and how one can be avoided the next time.

I promise you, when I stopped that car next to a "switch tree" my child knew exactly what the problem was.

When we went into that bathroom I had told my child in firm tones what he had done/was still doing and what I planned to do to stop it. He had all the way from the checkout counter to the restroom to stop kicking and screaming.

You know, I have really good kids. These spanking were some of the few they ever recieved, but, there for a while, going out in public was getting to be a problem. You can't send a kid to there room or give them a time-out while you are in a grocery store. It just doesn't work.

These instances were power plays, btw. Every kid has a time that defines for him/her Mom or Dad's authority. Some kids push and push, looking for just such an event that tells them they can go this far but no further. The limits at home were already well defined. But public behavior, well there might just be some wiggle room in that event. These instances proved decisively for mine that Mom was in control in public as well as at home.

Hmmm, sorry, I disagree with this on it's face. Shaming a child for disobedience isn't likely to anything to a child training or nurturing. Likely, he already has an idea what he is doing is wrong, but he's waiting for the parent to set the limit.

Shaming(public or private) a child for accidents, ignorance or events outside the child's control may have the effect you say. A good parent wouldn't be spanking for these at the start with.

 

Did notice the ? at the end of the sentence?

So no scripture?

 

Glad to see you back.:type:

 

Children will not always understand the difference between the heart change and behavioral change. It may take some years of controlling the behavior change before they reach the maturity level to make a heart change. Your view is unrealistic and fails to understand how the maturity of the child comes into play.

 

Nor is it abuse. (not that you suggested such)

 

My youngest will be 17 on the 21st of this month and if I felt he needed to be spanked, you'd better believe his behind would not be spared. And I could care less what any nosy busy body had to say about it!

 

Until age 4, our son was a tyrant, but he had health problems also. After he had an operation, his behavior suddenly became 100% better. I felt bad for spanking him when his behavior was likely due to adverse health problems. He was a toddler.

I don't believe our son has EVER been disciplined in public. But in our home, acting up in public results in a much harsher discipline than private. He has been taught this.

He is 17 now, and a really good person. No behavior problems, gets great grades, is planning for college. So there you go...

A few times when a man was disciplining his son in the bathroom, I stood on an adjacent toilet and looked into the stall to see what was going on. One man I told to calm down and come out. Then I took his child aside to see if that was his father.

Blood curdling screams from a tiny child amongst any violence inflicted behind closed doors needs to be checked into. Imo, it's ignorant not to open the door to ensure the child is safe. Some kids have been maimed by sickos because others ignored their pleas for help. We need to go into an adjacent stall (even if it means cutting in line) to stand on the toilet and view the situation. Of course, be really polite to the parent as they are likely just disciplining their kids. A good parent will probably appreciate your interest in ensuring their child is safe.

Corporal discipline shouldn't be so urgent it needs to be shared amongst the public. A mother spanking her little Johnny and airing to the world all he did wrong is not "a group thing". It's private. With that, good parents have disciplined their children in public so I don't mean to condemn them.

As webdog pointed out, people DO get their children taken away unnecessarily for spankings so love your kids enough not to take the chance. The bible says Fathers are not to offend their children. Think of how the Lord would feel if our own actions got our children taken from us, and placed with strangers (who could harm them- not all Foster Parents are honorable)

Note: I live in California so maybe culture plays a role in our views.

 

I disagree, since the behavior flows from the heart. Both can..and should...be controlled at the same time. Controlling the behavior is putting a band aid on a severed limb. the rod is meant to nurture the child's heart, not control behavior. Behavior in public needs to be handled differently than the rod. If the rod is used to control behavior, that tends to lead to abuse since it is often done in anger.

 

Is there scripture that states we shouldn't touch a hot stove? Some things should be common sense. I would hope public spankings (or lack thereof) in the age we live in should also be common sense, unless you have a desire to lose your children.

 

ha! I know the reason I could give such clear cut examples is . . .

well, you guessed it!

 

Your comparison fails to be equal in nature and not valid. Parents do not lose their children for public discipline when it is needed.

 

I beg to differ. Child protective services removes the child first, investigates later.

 

Over zealous government agents are not the norm.

 

I have to agree. I will recognize that there are some states/cities where spanking is frowned on more than others.

Since our school system still paddles, I guess you can tell that spanking isn't going to get you into much trouble.

Still, a kid that goes and tells school administration that mom/dad beat him last night and shows signs of bruises is going get looked at.

Other places, a kid that says the same thing and shows no sign of bruising may also get looked into. It can be scarey.

I'm a hardhead though. When one of my kids came home from school with a flyer designed to tell abused children where to call from help, we sat down as a family and discussed what abuse was, when it was appropriate to call for help and what would happen if they called and lied about being abused. Notice the italics. My children understand that if they should make such a call, they will have to live with the consquences. And I've made sure they understand what those consequences are.

I am not going to live in fear of the "authorities" coming to take my child away because I've disciplined them. I'm much more afraid of what God will have to say if I don't discipline them.

 

unbelievable
Sorry for the numerous questions but it would be interesting to know how they get away with this-
Who does the paddling? Are the parents present in the room? Does the school need written permission from the children's parents? If you refuse to allow your child to be struck, what happens? Do your chilldren attend this school system?

Well I certainly hope so. I would assume he is "looked at" by CPS, or possibly the designated school nurse prior to making the call to CPS. Please correct me if I am wrong.

Mayget looked into? Who decides which kids are worth the schools trouble? OR if you mean CPS, why would your CPS department choose to look at one case over another? By law they are to investigate all reported cases of abuse.

Wow, I don't know what to say. I bet if a CPS worker heard this, it would certainly be suspicious. Did you have a bad experience with CPS?

You have mentioned this again. I will be upfront, I discourage threatening your child in that manner. CPS is there to keep children safe. If you are raising them half way decently, and I am sure you are, they are probably not going to call and lie to CPS.

Living in fear of CPS? hmmm.....

Unless I missed something, no one has said not to discipline our children. To be honest, you hardly see kids acting up in stores here. Imo, parents here are either against spanking or spank very little. They certainly know how to parent. Thank god I live here amongst them to learn, I wasn't very good at it.

 

There is a real and legitimate reason to have some amount of fear of government agencies that look into family matters. Many of the agents that work for these agencies have very personal and liberal ideologies that drive their investigations. Some deem any form of corporal punishment as abuse. And while they may not have the law they need to act against that they will work to make the situation appear what it is not so as to remove the children from a situation where corporal punishment is conducted. These agencies seem to have very little oversight with way to much authority.

 

Well said, I know it has been true with my three.