Translation: "I am totally ignorant of the history of Israel and the political climate at the time of Christ and as I am too lazy to educate myself I will just post a meaningless blurb without any foundation or facts."
So when you get called out for reading your own idea into the text you choose to ridicule and mock? Alright then...
Please point out a single part of that passage that says one word about self defense.
Okay, so someone is attacking your family. You are supposed to love the attacker. What do you do? Do you lay down and just let the attacker kill you? Do you tell your children to just let the attacker beat them, since retaliating obviously means you hate them? I don't mean these to sound snarky or sarcastic. This is a genuine topic to discuss.
The best option is to get away. If that means I must take the attack on myself while my wife and daughter get away then so be it. Again I'm not sure how things like tazers or pepper spray or other non lethal items like that fit in, but regardless I would not kill them.
Inference from scriptural evidence aside, I can see where you are coming from, though we obviously disagree. I believe we should strive for nonviolence, but I don't believe it means we should just allow the world to steamroll us. If Christians are not allowed to defend themselves or their families from harm, then we're right back to square one.
You said earlier that emotion plays a small part, but then you define violence has causing harm or death. We can play legalistic tug-of-war all day on terminology. To me, violence requires malice aforethought. If someone is charging at you and your family firing a gun and the only recourse you have for protecting your loved ones is firing a gun back at that person, I don't really see how that can be held against someone as a hateful act. I can see how the notion of "love," as you have defined it, can be missing from that scenario. But we also have to be honest and say that the absence of love does not equal the abundance of hate. Most humans are simply apathetic to what goes on around them.
But again the command isn't just to not hate, but to actively show love for enemies. I don't believe that most who defend themselves hate their attacker, though some certainly do. Most simply want to preserve themselves/their family.
I notice that you dodge the question by asking me the same.
My answer: If someone attacks my family, they have become my enemy because of their predatory actions. As for loving my enemy, I am also commanded to love my Wife. I will side with my innocent Wife.
You seem to equate love with tolerance for an aggressor's violence inflicted on the innocent. Defense is not revenge.
I answered, now it is your turn.
It isn't an issue of who do you love more. It's an issue of how do you love both. You can't simply "side" with one side against the other. We are commanded to love both. To side with one is to be directly disobeying Christ regarding the other.
What you and, others, are saying seems to boil down to saying, "I see what Jesus is saying, and it's nice and all, but it simply isn't practical enough for real life."