Having different definitions does not surprise me at all. It's pretty much the norm here at the BB.
I'll grant you this: my church, and most of our sister churches in the area, are smaller churches, typically with crowds of 100 or less on any given Sunday morning. That being the case, we are much more tightly knit than the local larger churches, and far more tightly knit than the local megachurch. So getting up and hugging someone is not uncommon. In fact, during a service a few years ago, during our altar call, the pastor suddenly turned and grabbed me in a bear hug. When he turned back his son was in the altar praying. He later told me that he had been asking the Lord what he needed to do to help point his son toward salvation, and he said the Lord's answer that morning was "turn and hug the home preacher." If he had sat on that and not done it, then who know what blessing he would've missed out on.
I consider failing to do what the Lord tells you to do as just one part of quenching the Spirit. That's not my full definition. I have not read anything by Martyn Lloyd Jones, specifically not "Joy Unspeakable," though I'll tack it on to the list of things to read. That's a bit of a long list for me at the moment, though, to be honest.