The role of the wife.

[superwoman8977]

Okay well heres the thing...I did the submissive thing for almost 7 years I put myself into this box and was there for my husband 24/7 even though my husband wasnt faithful to me and ended up leaving me for another woman. Am I going to do the submissive thing again, not a chance. I have been there and done that and am tired of being a doormat. I dont think wives being submissive works in todays day and age anyways since wives are called to do way more today than ever before.

 

[dan e.]

Okay well heres the thing...I did the submissive thing for almost 7 years I put myself into this box and was there for my husband 24/7 even though my husband wasnt faithful to me and ended up leaving me for another woman. Am I going to do the submissive thing again, not a chance. I have been there and done that and am tired of being a doormat. I dont think wives being submissive works in todays day and age anyways since wives are called to do way more today than ever before.

I think that is a horrible understanding of being submissive, biblically. Although I think you are accurate in that many teach it this way, many understand it to be this way, and many think they are obeying the command by, as you put it, being a "doormat".

Horrible understanding.

 

[annsni]

Okay well heres the thing...I did the submissive thing for almost 7 years I put myself into this box and was there for my husband 24/7 even though my husband wasnt faithful to me and ended up leaving me for another woman. Am I going to do the submissive thing again, not a chance. I have been there and done that and am tired of being a doormat. I dont think wives being submissive works in todays day and age anyways since wives are called to do way more today than ever before.

I disagree that submission doesn't work today because my DH and I celebrated 23 years of marriage yesterday and submission has worked beautifully for us - as well as hundreds of other marriages I know.

I agree with Dan that I don't think you know what submission is. It's not being silent, a doormat, accepting sin or anything of the such. Read the Scriptures to see how Jesus submitted to the Father and how the church is to submit to Jesus and it might help.

 

[gb93433]

Okay well heres the thing...I did the submissive thing for almost 7 years I put myself into this box and was there for my husband 24/7 even though my husband wasnt faithful to me and ended up leaving me for another woman. Am I going to do the submissive thing again, not a chance. I have been there and done that and am tired of being a doormat. I dont think wives being submissive works in todays day and age anyways since wives are called to do way more today than ever before.

Your understanding of biblical love and submission is wrong. According to your description you really did not do the submission thing. All you were was a doormat. How much strength does a doormat have? Sometime read Ephesians 5:21. It works well in a marriage when the husband loves the wife as Christ loves the church and the wives submits herself to her husband as to Christ. You cannot control what your husband does. You can only control you.

Doormats are useless except for one thing--to wipe their feet on. Biblical submission is strength under control. A horse could kill a person but chooses to do as the master wants. It takes a strong person who willingly submits themselves to another. When I teach a class if I have a student who refuses to submit themself to me then I ask that student to leave immediately.

Anyone who cooperates with another chooses to submit themselves to another.

The Bible gives the conditions for submission--as to Christ. The Bible does not commmand a wife to support her husband when he shacks up with another woman ro does something immoral or illegal. If she is not a doormat she will do as God desires. When I was younger my mom was a doormat and never once stood against my dad. He finally divorced her. He is remarried to a lady who would never tolerate the abuse he gave my mom. He is a stronger man and to my knowledge has never abused his current wife. I am quite confident that if he were to abuse her she would let him know quite quickly. I am quite confident that she would openly expose him. God uses police to maintaion control and uphold justice and righteousness.

When you work somewhere you must submit yourself to another or most likely you would be fired in a short time.

 

[Amy.G]

I'm busy being a submissive wife today. I'm painting the sun deck. Oh wait, I think that's abuse!

:laugh:



Gotta go back to work. Lunch time is over. :tear:

 

[Brother Shane]

Okay well heres the thing...I did the submissive thing for almost 7 years I put myself into this box and was there for my husband 24/7 even though my husband wasnt faithful to me and ended up leaving me for another woman. Am I going to do the submissive thing again, not a chance. I have been there and done that and am tired of being a doormat. I dont think wives being submissive works in todays day and age anyways since wives are called to do way more today than ever before.

If you would have found yourself a Biblical husband (Ephesians 5:25-33), you wouldn't have had this problem. Do not suggest that God's commandment is no longer valid simply because you had to reap what you sew. I do believe, as others are saying -- you have no clue as to what submission is about -- and your husband had no clue as to how he was to act. He was unGodly to you -- and now you want to be unGodly to your next husband -- and the pattern continues. I recommend you not.

 

[abcgrad94]

If you would have found yourself a Biblical husband (Ephesians 5:25-33), you wouldn't have had this problem.

The wife is not responsible for her husband's behavior, Shane. Only hers. Any woman who has experienced what this lady has endured needs to see the compassion of Christ. She doesn't need a verbal beating to add insult to injury.

 

[superwoman8977]

If you would have found yourself a Biblical husband (Ephesians 5:25-33), you wouldn't have had this problem. Do not suggest that God's commandment is no longer valid simply because you had to reap what you sew. I do believe, as others are saying -- you have no clue as to what submission is about -- and your husband had no clue as to how he was to act. He was unGodly to you -- and now you want to be unGodly to your next husband -- and the pattern continues. I recommend you not.

Thank you but my husband was a Godly man until satan turned the heat up in his life and he ran and now is running like big time. Being under someone nope I cannot do that. Not even in my job I am in charge of about 10 people because thats just how I am a take charge person.

 

[Brother Shane]

The wife is not responsible for her husband's behavior, Shane.

She is responsible for the type of man she choose to marry. You missed my whole point. The lady didn't choose a Godly husband, so how can she expect to be treated with love and have a faithful marriage and be happy while submitting to her husband when He doesn't have Christ? I am afraid that if I did not make that point - a Godly husband would not be the requirements of her next choice. Apparently, it was not for the first choice, either.

Any woman who has experienced what this lady has endured needs to see the compassion of Christ.

Showing her the love of Christ and not teaching her right from wrong will not amount to a hill of beans in the long run. The love of Christ abides in a faithful husband -- not a adulterer. While you show her how loving God can be, show her what God expects out of her. She knows how loving He is.

She doesn't need a verbal beating to add insult to injury.

The only insult to injury will be her next marriage if something is not done, ABC.

 

[Brother Shane]

Thank you but my husband was a Godly man

What kind of Godly man 'cheats' on his wife? How did Satan get a hold of him -- or in other words, "turn the heat up?" Was he in Church? Was He putting the Lord first? Was He at home at night?

until satan turned the heat up in his life and he ran and now is running like big time.

Did you divorce him?

Being under someone nope I cannot do that.

That is something you're going to do if you want to follow God's commandment and be a child of His through and through. If you love God, you will keep his commandments (John 14:15).

Not even in my job I am in charge of about 10 people because thats just how I am a take charge person.

Well you're definitely not in your place as a woman (Titus 2:3) and I find it hard to believe that you did not have a thing to do with your husband's 'running around.' Satan got a hold of his life and seems like yours as well.

 

[dan e.]

[/B] Well you're definitely not in your place as a woman (Titus 2:3) and I find it hard to believe that you did not have a thing to do with your husband's 'running around.' Satan go a hold of his life and seems like yours as well.[/COLOR][/FONT]

Cool it, Shane. As if you know the place of a woman. I now diagnose you with verbal diarrhea.

 

[Brother Shane]

As if I can not read the Bible, Dan?

 

[superwoman8977]

What kind of Godly man 'cheats' on his wife? How did Satan get a hold of him -- or in other words, "turn the heat up?" Was he in Church? Was He putting the Lord first? Was He at home at night? Did you divorce him? That is something you're going to do if you want to follow God's commandment and be a child of His through and through. If you love God, you will keep his commandments (John 14:15). Well you're definitely not in your place as a woman (Titus 2:3) and I find it hard to believe that you did not have a thing to do with your husband's 'running around.' Satan go a hold of his life and seems like yours as well.

Okay if you wanna judge me go at it. Did I divorce my husband? Nope I stood fast on the promises of God and the vows of my marriage until I knew God was closing that door and then I made him file for divorce. I right now work a 40 hr a week job and come home and run my home. My husband is with his trailer trash girlfriend and for the moment still running. I did everything i was asked to as his wife but in the end it wasnt enough and he took off running around. Shane, I think of myself as a huge failure but God is showing me that it wasnt my fault and that there is someone out there for me that loves me 4 me. I am 40,000.00 in debt because when I married my husband I had perfect credit and he decided things were more important so he asked me to get this credit card and this car and then had them reposessed, etc when he couldnt pay the bills but its my credit messed up till the end of time not his because I submitted and did as I was told. I have learned my lesson and will for the rest of my life have my own cell phone account, bank account, etc nothing will be joint ever again. I learned my lesson once. I also will never have a man put me in a box and tell me what I can and cannot do. The guy I am dating now doesnt do that. He allows me to make my own decisions and be my own person.

 

[dan e.]

As if I can not read the Bible, Dan?

Here's a tip, Shane. You lack TACT.

 

[Brother Shane]

Okay if you wanna judge me go at it.

Leviticus 19:15

Did I divorce my husband? Nope I stood fast on the promises of God and the vows of my marriage until I knew God was closing that door

Scripture, please? Where does God ever close the door on marriage?

and then I made him file for divorce. I right now work a 40 hr a week job and come home and run my home. My husband is with his trailer trash girlfriend and for the moment still running. I did everything i was asked to as his wife but in the end it wasn't enough and he took off running around. Shane, I think of myself as a huge failure but God is showing me that it wasnt my fault and that there is someone out there for me that loves me 4 me. I am 40,000.00 in debt because when I married my husband I had perfect credit and he decided things were more important so he asked me to get this credit card and this car and then had them reposessed, etc

Not Godly of him-

when he couldnt pay the bills but its my credit messed up till the end of time not his because I submitted and did as I was told.

So you're blaming this on God? Submitting to the husband isn't allowing him to do the things He did. I still fail to believe He was Godly.

I have learned my lesson and will for the rest of my life have my own cell phone account, bank account, etc nothing will be joint ever again.

Matthew 19:6

I learned my lesson once. I also will never have a man put me in a box and tell me what I can and cannot do.

Then you'll never find a Godly husband, ma'am.

The guy I am dating now doesnt do that. He allows me to make my own decisions and be my own person.

So what Bible commanded him to let you do that?

 

[ReformedBaptist]

I'm busy being a submissive wife today. I'm painting the sun deck. Oh wait, I think that's abuse!

:laugh:



Gotta go back to work. Lunch time is over. :tear:

Well, I am painting the bedroom for my wife so does that make me submissive? lol

Concerning the topic, it seems obvious that some men have used the submissive role of the woman to Lord over his wife. My wife and I have had our struggles in almost 12 years of marriage. She believes she should submit to me as the Church does to Christ, because the Word of God says so, and we also believe I should love her and sacrifice myself for her as Christ does His church.

Sometimes men have lorded over their wives, been over-bearing, bossy, hot-headed, arrogant, lazy, haughty, foolish, and generally grumpy. Men, I got that list from looking at my own heart..

When we are that way we need to seek first the Lord Jesus and see where we have fallen down in our walk with Him and repent. Then we need to seek forgiveness and make restoration with our wives and, if needed, our children. Let them see our humility. They know we aren't perfect people. Neither are they. But let's make our homes a model of Christian virtue, love, mercy, and kindness.

 

[ReformedBaptist]

Okay if you wanna judge me go at it. Did I divorce my husband? Nope I stood fast on the promises of God and the vows of my marriage until I knew God was closing that door and then I made him file for divorce. I right now work a 40 hr a week job and come home and run my home. My husband is with his trailer trash girlfriend and for the moment still running. I did everything i was asked to as his wife but in the end it wasnt enough and he took off running around. Shane, I think of myself as a huge failure but God is showing me that it wasnt my fault and that there is someone out there for me that loves me 4 me. I am 40,000.00 in debt because when I married my husband I had perfect credit and he decided things were more important so he asked me to get this credit card and this car and then had them reposessed, etc when he couldnt pay the bills but its my credit messed up till the end of time not his because I submitted and did as I was told. I have learned my lesson and will for the rest of my life have my own cell phone account, bank account, etc nothing will be joint ever again. I learned my lesson once. I also will never have a man put me in a box and tell me what I can and cannot do. The guy I am dating now doesnt do that. He allows me to make my own decisions and be my own person.

Sorry to hear of all that you went through. Adultery and divorce tear a persons heart out. It is the worst emotional pain I have witnessed. I have seen more pain in a person due to being hurt through a divorce than I have seen in folks who have lost mother or father.

I pray the Lord will bring healing to those hurts you have experienced, and that He will help you forgive your ex-husband from your heart if that is still needed. Sometimes it takes some time to get to that point. Sometimes we don't want to forgive because it means letting him off the hook. But that God He lets us off the hook for our sins.

Blessings.

 

[donnA]

shane=

She is responsible for the type of man she choose to marry. You missed my whole point. The lady didn't choose a Godly husband, so how can she expect to be treated with love and have a faithful marriage and be happy while submitting to her husband when He doesn't have Christ? I am afraid that if I did not make that point - a Godly husband would not be the requirements of her next choice. Apparently, it was not for the first choice, either.

She did say this,

superwoman=

Thank you but my husband was a Godly man until satan turned the heat up in his life

She did marry a godly man, but he chose to sin.
Even christian sins. Doesn't make it right, but we all do it, the bible says we do.
Yet you jump and bash and judge this woman for her husbands sin.

 

[Brother Shane]

She did marry a godly man, but he chose to sin.
Even christian sins. Doesn't make it right, but we all do it, the bible says we do.
Yet you jump and bash and judge this woman for her husbands sin.

Godly men do not act in the manner that he did, Donna. Saying he is Godly does not make him Godly -- did not do a thing for me. I know if you put God first in all you do, love your wife, love your children, give to God, lift up His name, do not put selfish desires before Him, read out the right Bible, know the truth, want to learn the truth -- you'll never go astray. I do not see how a "Godly man" can do the things he did. I do not see how a man that occupies all the positions I named about has time to do the things this man did. I doubt seriously we know the full story, but I'm just telling you how it is.

When you're saved, Donna, you occupy the Lord at all costs.

 

[donnA]

Christians sin shane. You can't go around bashing christians who sin, because you are one of them.