Van, I think you are trying to oversimplify how God works through men. Calvinists believe in total spiritual depravity. Men are dead in their sins. This means, that if GOD DOES NOTHING AT ALL, N
NE will be saved. I think you would probably agree with me on that point.
Think many here seem to hold that mankind was damaged/hurt by the fall of adam, but NOT ruined/killed off spiritually, so we can still freely decide to receive/reject jesus once we hear the Gospel!
Now, if that is the case, then we at least agree that God MUST DO SOMETHING for man to be saved. The question then becomes: does man HELP, ASSIST, or CONTRIBUTE towards his own salvation? If so, then man CAN boast. This is the probably with synergism, which I see that you seem to hold to.
Let me ask you this question: Do you believe that God RESTRAINS man's wickedness and sin? Does he prevent men from sinning as much as they possibly could? This is very important, because God DOES use both the believers and the unbeliever to accomplish his purposes.
Proverbs 21:1 (NASB)
1 The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes.
So, when God hardens Pharaoh's heart, he is not 'forcing' Pharaoh to sin. Indeed, it is not God's purpose for Pharaoh to repent, and so God has not replaced his heart of stone with a heart of flesh. God has not opened Pharaoh's eyes. But think about the fact that not all unbelievers express their rebellion against God in the same way. Certainly all men HAVE rebelled against God. Certainly the natural man is at enmity with God. But not all men express it in the same way. You see 'agnostics' and other people who have a more laid-back attitude, and aren't necessarily trying to destroy the Christian church. But then you have atheists like Richard Dawkins, and Christopher Hitchens, who openly express their rage and hatred against God.
So it is easy to see that the hardening of someone's heart leads them to openly express even more hostility towards God. God is not 'taking away' what little spiritual ability that Pharaoh has to respond to God. You probably would have agreed with me that if God does nothing at all, then no man will be saved (so where then is this 'spiritual ability' that men have)?
In the end, Pharaoh saw the miracles and power of God, and still willfully rebelled against God. God had granted him great light (just like God later granted the Pharisees great light). Yet as we can see, it was not God's purpose to demonstrate his grace and mercy by saving Pharaoh. It was God's purpose to demonstrate his righteousness and justice by punishing Pharaoh for Pharaoh's rebellion and hatred against God.
By the way, when it comes to God's wrath, Paul makes it clear to his fellow believers that they USED to be children of wrath. You fail to see the distinction that God's eternal decree to save actually TAKES PLACE and is made MANIFEST in history. Was it God's eternal plan to have Christ die on the cross? Was that God's 'plan B'? Yet we see that Christ died IN HISTORY, at a particular point in time. Yet, isn't Christ the lamb slain from the foundation of the world? So when was Christ slain? That is why from an eternal perspective, Christ is the lamb slain from the foundation of the world. But from a temporal perspective, Christ died AT A PARTICULAR TIME IN HISTORY. So again, even though the Elect have been chosen by God before the foundation of the world (name written in the lamb's book of life), this Election takes place in time. I was indeed a child of wrath before I was saved. But I am now a child of wrath no longer. Salvation and redemption take place IN TIME.